Others might say Max Brooks, and it’s obviously true that Mr. Brooks is scared half out of his gourd by the Differently Animated.

I tend to think the best candidate, however, is ‘The Walking Dead’ creator Robert Kirkman, who is always jumping into new, groundbreaking, monstrously offensive side projects to defame Zombies.

Gleefully.

So I wasn’t completely surprised to see that he’s getting into the rapidly growing Zombie Apocalypse simulation racket:

The Walking Dead Escape: San Diego is a new obstacle course at Petco Park that will run during this year’s Comic-Con, in conjunction with the release of issue #100 of the Eisner Award-winning The Walking Dead comic series.

“Our fans have been reading about it, watching it, and now they get to live it with The Walking Dead: Escape,” series creator Robert Kirkman said in a statement. “We are literally transforming Petco Park into the early days of society’s collapse and San Diego is just the first city to fall.”

Come on, Mr. Kirkman. With every major wave of immigration there’s been *some*, frankly, hateful and often unhinged voice yelling at the top of their lungs that the End is Nigh.

Sometimes it’s not even immigration per se, but a cultural product. Music, videogames.. comic books.

Thus today’s boogeyman status has sadly fallen upon the Zombie Community, and the leader of these modern day, Undead hating Know Nothings is, apparently, Robert Kirkman.

History will not be kind, Mr. Kirkman.

Still, for 70 bucks a pop, you TOO can be on the wrong side of history at Comic Con. I trust none of our readers will make that error.

If you’re in Canada this summer, and you don’t want to die, then listen up. If you’re ready for a zombie attack, then you’re ready for just about anything.

That’s the message British Columbia is sending its citizens and tourists in a website it launched this week, which provides tips on about how to prepare for a fake zombie apocalypse.

Yes, really. The BC government, through one of its many apparently insidious tentacles, has decided to use the hateful stereotyping about the risk of ‘Zombie attack’ to promote public safety.

Which isn’t even original hatred; see the CDC’s similar campaign.

And just look at the material they’re putting out on the web for anyone, even impressionable Zombie Canadian children, to see:

Guest Blog

Day One: Outbreak
Day Two: What’s For Dinner? Hopefully Not My Brain
Day Three: Close Encounter

Really, Canada? The Brain-eating thing?

This from a country that puts gravy on french fries?

The ZRC calls on any and all Zombie Allies in British Columbia to call, write, email or otherwise pester (legally and peacefully) their elected representatives to put a stop to this degrading Anti-Zombie behavior.

For shame. For shame.

(Yes, these guys were at it again)

However, one of the Columbus Zombie Walk’s organizers left us a rebuttal in the comments section on that post, and we are obliged to report her take on the matter here as well. Equal time, activism integrity and the like.

Vanessa Williamson says:
I am one of the organizers of the Columbus Zombiewalk, and first off I would like to thank you for the shout out and positive feedback. I’m almost positive that we broke records with our attendance of almost 4,000 zombies. Secondly, the STARS Columbus team helped me immensely with crowd control and food donations and I must commend them for all of their efforts. We raised 4,246 pounds of canned goods for our local food bank and near $700 in cash for the leukemia and lymphoma society this year. I am very thankful to all who participated!

(edited to remove comment formatting)

Ms. Williamson is right to point out the good works the S.T.A.R.S. team performed at her event, although we believe they do so merely to provide a cover for their odious Zombie oppressing. It is also a very good thing that her Zombie Walk has a charity fundraiser angle as well; you know we approve of such things here at the ZRC.

I for one am also glad that the militant S.T.A.R.S. members were able to restrain their violent tendencies to the extent they apparently did; we’ve seen firsthand the kind of equipment they take along to public appearances.

One worries about putting them in a position of authority in the future.

However, now you have another side to the story. We report, you.. should still support the Zombies.

Sorry, S.T.A.R.S.

Chicago Zombie’s site on the March.

When? June 16th, 2012
Where: Starts at Millennium Park at The Bean sculpture at 3 pm.
The Route: Here! (Apparently the same as last year, which makes sense)
The Facebook: Here!

We hope to see you there. The ZRC will bring literature, signage, freebies and of course, our optimism about a better, Zombie Friendly future.

Naturally the ZRC is very pleased with this largely peaceful and productive public outing and outreach opportunity.

*Un*fortunately, we have also received a report that some of the S.T.A.R.S. types we tussled with at Horrorhound Columbus (perhaps the same misguided individuals, perhaps others following in their jackbooted footsteps) disrupted the event to some degree with their usual threats of violence and oppression.

Which we find appalling.

Still, kudos to the city of Columbus and its many fine Undead citizens, who stand up in the face of such tyrannical injustice and triumph over the adversity, and the Adversaries, year after year.

For many fantastic pictures I heartily suggest you see the official Columbus Zombie Walk Facebook page. There were even some positive picket signs! Take this Pro Zombie Marriage one! Or this sign extolling Zombie Pride.

What a great event. Makes me want to attend the upcoming Zombie March in Chicago all the more. We need to do our part, after all, we are The Zombie Rights Campaign.

And it appears the message of Zombie Tolerance and Undead Equality is really starting to catch on nationwide.

Warner Bros. released a full costume list on Thursday for its upcoming North American release of the Lollipop Chainsaw video game. These costumes include the previously-announced anime costumes that was later revealed would be released worldwide.

…

Haruna Costume – Haruna from Is This a Zombie?
Shiro Costume – Shiro’s costume from Deadman Wonderland
Manyu Chifusa Costume – Samurai costume from Manyu Scroll (Manyū Hiken-chō)
Miyamoto Rei Costume – Rei’s costume from Highschool of the Dead
Busujima Saeko Costume – Saeko’s Costume from Highschool of the Dead

…

Yes, it’s a virtual alliance of Anti-Zombiism from Japan, and then, oddly, ‘Is This a Zombie’. Which has a Zombie *protagonist*.

This seems rather directly contrary to the entire point of the show, where a Zombie is the hero, not cannon fodder for Buffy with a Chainsaw.

Very disappointing.

I know I will.

So when we were approached by the Mad Lab guys on Twitter about their new film I was a bit reticent. However, I think we can safely say it’s a major improvement.

Here, see for yourselves:

The description: “IT’S THE SIMPLE THINGS THAT MAKE LIFE WORTH LIVING. EVEN IF YOU’RE DEAD.”

As I pointed out on Twitter, we have to object a bit to referring to Zombies as ‘Dead’. Dead things don’t typically have legal rights, and we want to keep that distinction clear.

It also might be troubling that the Zombie is clearly eating a human arm, but I’m going to go ahead and give the film the benefit of the doubt and presume it was donated peacefully, perhaps through our Zombie Organ Donor program.

The Zombie Rights Campaign is pleased to see a short film from Mad Lab Productions that features a Zombie, wistfully and non-violently enjoying his Unlife. We rate it as Zombie Friendly, accordingly.

What do you get when you mix classic zombie films and a drive-in double feature? WBEZ’s Off-Air Series gives you a chance to find out next Thursday, May 17.

The Cascade Drive-In, one of the few left in the Chicagoland area, will host the Drive-In Double Feature! Zombie Apocalypse. Two classic zombie films — the American “zom-com” Zombieland immediately followed by Britain’s zombie genre parody Shaun of the Dead– will bring out the zombies in everyone.

I have a certain fondness for drive-ins from my childhood, when the family saw a lot of movies at a local drive-in theatre in Pennsylvania. The last time I was at an actual one was for a Dark Carnival Film Festival event, though; I don’t know where the nearest one is to the ZRC Compound. I suspect Wisconsin has fewer, given our relatively short summers.*

But hey, Chicago-area Zombie allies, if you wanted to go out and lament a couple of bad movies under the stars, you get your chance in a week.

Race day was cool and overcast. We parked offsite at a nearby greyhound track and lined up for the bus to the course. Our line grew quiet as a bus pulled up and unloaded a round of earlier runners. Every eye watched the door for hints of what lay ahead. Runners tumbled out disheveled and muddy. Some limped.

A short drive later, we pulled into Amesbury Sports Park, where the main building was transformed into a zombie staging area. Newly minted zombies in fresh makeup milled around the porch; one sat on the edge facing us, idly swinging his legs. I realized the returning runners we’d seen earlier were actually the cleaned-up version: fresh off the trail, survivors were dazed and drenched head-to-toe in slick, brown mud. By now, thousands had tramped through the already-muddy trail, and less than a mile of solid ground remained; we were about to trudge for our lives, rather than run.

We hardly need point out the very long history of using physical exhaustion and trauma to break down subjects for indoctrination and programming; by the end of such an experience I’m sure the runners were even more receptive, tragically, to the hateful Living Supremacism on display.

The ZRC also finds the tacit governmental backing of the event, and its overt militarism, alarming:

US Marines kept watch, lending a creepy verisimilitude; at Atlanta’s event earlier this year, the CDC even made an appearance.

Read the linked post for the full, awful, disheartening tale.

So sad that physical fitness has to be used as an excuse for division and sowing of discord.