‘Thorn: Zombie Dungeon Survival’
Judging by this atrocious review over at 148apps, ‘Thorn: Zombie Dungeon Survival’ is an awful Anti-Zombie game that also has the benefit of making absolutely no sense:
Most people, upon discovering a dark, dank zombie infested dungeon would do everything they could to stay out of there. Not Thorn. This brave little viking wades into dungeon after dungeon filled with the undead. He hacks, slashes, stabs, throws, and explodes his way through hordes of zombie assailants and makes his way stubbornly from entrance to exit, re-killing everything in his path.
..
Every game starts at level one and the game progresses from one randomly generated level to the next for as long as the player can survive. There isn’t much variation in the levels at all other than the size and layout of the dungeon and the number of zombies. On long play sessions the environments can get tiresome and the zombie killing a bit tedious, but in shorter chunks the gameplay is an enjoyable distraction. There are a few charming little additions to the game such as names above the zombies identifying them as Dan, or Carl. These little quirks make the game that much more fun to play around with.
So you’re a Viking.. in a dungeon.. fighting Zombies… but you all have modern English names… and..
Ok, seriously, is anyone even trying to make ‘sense’ in an Anti-Zombie game anymore?
Is the next one going to, in the words of Eddie Izzard, take place on the Moon with Steve?
Oh, but ‘Thorn’ is violent, and that’s what really matters. Take a look at this gameplay video:
Yes, all manner of crazy virtual weapons can be hurled at the innocent Zombie inhabitants of these remarkably well-lit dungeons for no good reason by your alleged protagonist in order to ‘win’ or ‘advance’ in a game that seems to be solely about the slaughter of the Differently Animated.
I for one am disgusted. Disgusted and a bit puzzled, but mostly disgusted.
Thorn is apparently available for the iPhone and iPad, if you’re a sicko who’s into that sort of thing.
About The Author
I’m one of two developers who made Thorn: Zombie Dungeon Survival.
While I assure you that we are, in fact, anti-zombie, I must urge you to understand that it is for your own good. If we don’t start preparing the American youth to fight the zombie threat now, in its infancy, we will surely be doomed in the face of a zombie rights hegemony.
I urge you to rethink your platform.
Sir, there is no ‘zombie threat’. There is simply a population of your fellow citizens who happen to be Undead and want to Unlive their Unlives in peace without the constant demagoguery and hatred, not to mention threats of and even acts of terroristic violence. Your comment here confirms that your game not only glorifies Anti-Zombie prejudice and malice but calls for further inhumane behavior toward the Differently Animated, and that is a shame.
Our platform is well-thought through and not likely to change.
Just wanted to let you know that Thorn: Zombie Dungeon Survival now has Game Center support. So now you can actually compare your ability to destroy zombies with other people.
That’s right, obliterating the zombie threat is just a game to people like us.
Sir your words are a more fitting indictment of your lack of personal integrity and character than any we could devise. For shame.