The Zombie Rights Campaign Blog

Zombie Wine Charms? A ZRC Review

I’m not sure what to make of these at all:

Hmm...

Mark your glass with a grotesque piece of human anatomy. For anyone looking to impress their living dead friends. You’ll be dazzled by these delicious zombie snacks. Featuring a brain, stomach, lungs, heart, and intestines.

Each charm is approx. 1 1/2″ or under.

First of all, wine charms? Can anyone tell me what they’re supposed to do? Just.. float there in your beverage?

Michelle Hartz, could you help me out here? You drink wine, right?

That being said, I think there are two conflicting factors here. One is that the artist wants you to buy these things to IMPRESS your Undead FRIENDS. That’s a great idea! You should totally get some, and then try to impress them! Or at least, not shoot them!

On the other, I’m not sure why your Zombie friends are supposed to like little doodads shaped like the stereotypical foodstuff of the stereotypical Zombie from the movies… unless your friends are both Undead and Hipsters, and they want to appreciate this ironically.

Oh wow. A product line for the Living friends of Hipster Zombies? That’s novel! Niche, but novel!

Heck with it. The message might be a tiny bit edgy, but we can dig it. The ZRC rates these Hipster Zombie-ready wine charms as Zombie Friendly.

Pretty friendly! Good for the wine drinking Zombie.

Great job!


About The Author

The role of 'Administrator' will be played tonight by John Sears, currently serving as President of The Zombie Rights Campaign.

Comments

4 Responses to “Zombie Wine Charms? A ZRC Review”

  1. Michelle says:

    Yay for Hipster Zombies!

    At any rate, a wine charm is on a small ring and goes around the stem of a wine glass. It’s wine glass bling. The purpose is that when everyone’s carrying around a wine glass, if you set it down, you can later identify which glass is yours by the charm.

    “Is this my glass?”

    “Mine’s the one with the brains, because I’m a smartass, so yours must be the one with the intestines.”

    “No, I had the intestines, yours is the lungs, because you never shut up.”

    “Oh yeah, that’s right, thanks.”

  2. John Sears says:

    I’m certainly glad to know that there’s a system involved, though it seems like you’re just asking for someone to spike your glass with iocane powder or something this way.

  3. Michelle says:

    Don’t get any ideas.

  4. John Sears says:

    I have many. Mwahaa

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