Gun Enthusiasts vs. The Zombie Rights Campaign
The art director likes to go through our sitemeter logs in the quest to find out who is linking to our proud organization from around the world wide web and see precisely where our much-valued readers are finding out about The Cause, and so she discovered that we were getting some hits to the site from a firearms enthusiast site.
Unfortunately, they don’t seem to see eye to eye with Zombie Liberation.. to say the last. They have some rather unkind words on the forum for the ZRC as well:
You guys want to see disturbing…look at these knuckleheads!
ZED SYMPATHISERS!!! TRAITORS!!! QUISLINGS!!!
The Zombie Rights Campagn – May is Zombie Appreciation Month
and
Damn dead heads! Probably a bunch of communist sympathizer, guy-liner wearing, bed wetting, necrophiliacs that see the zed apocalypse as their only chance to touch a boob before death. “Mortality challenged Americans,” I puked a little in my mouth. We must take a stand against these rot-lovers!
These are weighty accusations against The Zombie Rights Campaign, and I feel they must be addressed in an appropriately
serious tone:
1) ‘dead heads’? If this is meant to indicate that we are Zombies, in fact, the ZRC’s small staff does not have any full time Differently Animated members. Baron Mardi is our designated spiritual advisor/necromancer but he’s not on the payroll as such.
2) ‘Communist sympathizer’: Well, there’s no point in denying the ZRC has a somewhat liberal bent, as do most civil rights organizations/movements. However, the pedantic Poli-Sci degree holder in me gets a bit nitpicky here. The ZRC as an organization takes few formal positions on the traditional, and completely outdated, left-right 1 axis political spectrum. Personally, your ZRC President (that’d be me) is basically a Social Democrat. The Art Director’s politics tend leftist, I suppose. I don’t have a great deal of knowledge about the politics of our Cultural Historian but I don’t think he’s a Marxist plant per se.
At any rate, we reserve most of our sympathy for Zombies, Mummies, Liches and the other Differently Animated regardless of their political affiliations.
3) ‘Guy-liner wearing’. This one’s easy: I don’t wear ‘guy-liner’. I do dye my hair sometimes:
4) ‘bed wetting’ I haven’t wet the bed since I was a kid. I’m not sure why bed-wetting is the mark of Cain in this context anyway, it’s a medical condition, not a sin. (If you believe in sin to begin with.)
5) ‘necrophiliacs’: No. No no no no no no. Undead does not equal Dead, and not everyone in Wisconsin is like Ed Gein, thanks very much. Our dealings with the Differently Animated for the ZRC are strictly professional. Advocate-client, if you will.
6) on seeing the ‘zed apocalypse’ as a chance to ‘touch a boob before death’: we don’t believe in the Zombie Apocalypse here at the ZRC. I’ve mentioned that on innumerable occasions. We see a worldwide revivification explosion as not a reason to panic but a cause for celebration. Undead Global Block Party!
7) ‘rot-lovers’: Zombies and their allies tend to be Anti-Rot for fairly obvious reasons. Decomposition is a bummer.
8) ‘ZED SYMPATHISERS!!! TRAITORS!!! QUISLINGS!!!’ First, multiple exclamation points are a sure sign of a diseased mind.
Second, we do in fact sympathize with Zombies. Well spotted.
Third, sympathizing with Zombies does not make you a traitor, presumably to humanity, because Zombies are human.
Fourth, Quislings? If you mean politically,Quislings were fascists, and we’ve already been accused of communist sympathies here so the AR15 guys should really pick a coherent slur. (As explained above, we tend somewhat liberal, but that’s not hugely relevant.) If you mean to use the term as a synonym for ‘traitor’ you’re being redundant. If you’re using the term ala Max Brooks then you’re both a reader of sick Anti-Zombie fiction and incorrect; I do not dress up as a Zombie, even for Zombie Walks, in the interests of avoiding Greenface and in demonstrating Living-Zombie solidarity.
I hope this detailed refutation helps inform the dialogue and correct the record.
About The Author
[...] there is at least one place our zombie friends can find aid and support. Zombie Rights Campaign site is about the only place I could find any kind of support or sympathy for our cell regenerative [...]
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