The Zombie Rights Campaign Blog

Blogging + The ‘Zombie Apocalypse’ = ‘Allison Hewitt Is Trapped: A Zombie Novel’

I suppose after Diary of the Dead tried to marry digital cinematography with the Zombie Apocalypse this was only a matter of time::

One woman’s story as she blogs – and fights back – the zombie apocalypse

Allison Hewitt and her five colleagues at the Brooks and Peabody Bookstore are trapped together when the zombie outbreak hits. Allison reaches out for help through her blog, writing on her laptop and utilizing the military’s emergency wireless network (SNET). It may also be her only chance to reach her mother. But as the reality of their situation sinks in, Allison’s blog becomes a harrowing account of her edge-of-the-seat adventures (with some witty sarcasm thrown in) as she and her companions fight their way through ravenous zombies and sometimes even more dangerous humans.

See, this is precisely the sort of thing that causes the public to lose confidence in our Military-Industrial Complex’s ability to handle a major disaster. Apparently, rather than dealing with carnage in the streets and complete lawlessness, the military decides to spend their time, effort and manpower setting up wifi. During the ‘apocalypse’.

I mean, what’s next, setting up a water theme park in a war zone riddled with explosions and gunbattles in the stree– oh wait, they actually did that, in Iraq.

Hmm. Ok, that’s one point to you, Madeleine Roux, author of this particular tome of Anti-Zombie lore, in terms of plausibility.

On the larger question of how the Undead should be treated, though, I think we’ve still got the high ground.

The book is available at Amazon, though the reviews are middling at best:

Plot gaps diminish this otherwise exciting horror adventure debut. When the zombie apocalypse breaks out, bookstore clerk Allison escapes the titular trap and finds a group of survivors at a community center, including handsome astronomy professor Collin. Complications–aside from the usual attacks by ravenous undead–include religious zealots, paramilitary survivalists, and Collin’s estranged and intimidating wife. As Allison blogs about her experience on SNet, an emergency military network, commenters provide some sense of the disaster’s scope, but there’s little explanation for how she created the blog and why no other sites are mentioned. Likewise, a pivotal early attack by a zombified squirrel is ignored later as the heroes traipse through the woods ignoring all nonhumanoid threats. These flaws aren’t enough to hide Roux’s obvious talent for witty characters and gory action sequences, but they will frustrate attentive readers.

Zombie squirrel attacks?

Honestly? But squirrels are adorable, if thieving, vermin. Zombie squirrels are probably even more cuddly. Just feed them some walnuts already.

I’m terribly amused by the idea that you would *blog* in this scenario, however. Moreover, that you’d get a lot of commentors. I mean, how would that go?

Hypothetical Scenario Follows:

Title: “Gee, We Could Use Some Help Here”

Body: Still trapped in a bookstore, surrounded by George Romero’s actors on strike or something. Could we get some law and order plz?

Comments (3)

From: MilCommander
–We’re too busy setting up these access points 2 help u, s0rry.
10:58 am

From: Bookworm Ally
11:35 am

From: MilCommander
2:03 pm

End Hypothetical Scenario

I think I can rest my case. Just be glad if, when you’re blogging the Zombie Apocalypse, you aren’t drowned in comments from lonely, introverted, and really quite sad Mega64 fans.

Bonus Missed Opportunity: How could Roux not name this book ‘Blogging of the Dead’? I’m TOTALLY calling that title here and now, people. It’s mine until someone presents some prior art.

(thanks again to BuyZombie for pointing this one out)

About The Author

The role of 'Administrator' will be played tonight by John Sears, currently serving as President of The Zombie Rights Campaign.


5 Responses to “Blogging + The ‘Zombie Apocalypse’ = ‘Allison Hewitt Is Trapped: A Zombie Novel’”

  1. rsxwing says:

    Some people just love to hear themselves talk. Case in point: this blog post.

    You really shouldn’t knock a book that you haven’t read. For example, if you had actually read the book (and not just the Publisher’s Weekly mediocre review) then you would understand that the point of this novel is not the fact that it is a BLOG, but that it is A GOOD STORY. Because the book started as an online serial fiction work, it made sense to preserve the blog format, because it is unusual, creative, and how the story was written. That said, it is not just a book about blogging. I hope that you actually take the time to read it, and perhaps choose to adjust your review accordingly.

    They say that as an author, getting a negative review feels like getting spit in the face in the middle of Times Square.

    Keep that in mind the next time you make fun of someone’s DEBUT NOVEL without even reading it; someone who is probably just trying to make a living doing what they love. Don’t you wish we could all do the same?

  2. John Sears says:

    Well, I have only a few points to make in response to *that*:

    1) This isn’t a review. I never said it was a review. I cited a Publisher’s Weekly review as a representative sample of the critical opinion that seems to exist about this particular book. ZRC reviews are easy to spot; they say they’re reviews, in the title, generally in the body, and at the end they’re accompanied by an Official Zombie Rights Campaign Rating, ranging from Living Supremacist to Zombie Friendly, and they’re tagged with a review flag as well. The ZRC takes pride in only formally reviewing works that have been thoroughly examined, and even then we primarily deal with the Zombie Rights aspect, not literary quality or presentation per se.

    For details on our rating system and review criteria you may see this post:

    2) Serial publication online doesn’t support the logic of being able to blog *in the story itself* during an ‘Apocalypse’. That particular aspect remains relatively implausible, if not outright ridiculous, though not, of course, as ridiculous as the notion of a ‘Zombie Apocalypse’ itself.

    Likewise, Dickens published much of his work serially, but he didn’t make all of his characters authors dictating their lives to magazine editors. That would have been far-fetched and hard to believe, much like the blogging-while-fending-off-the-ravenous-’Undead’ scenario discussed above.

    3) ‘They say’ is the ultimate weasel word phrase. If by ‘they’ you mean yourself, just say so. I don’t know how to, or care to, respond to second-hand comments and quotes from the anonymous collective of ‘they’.

    4) Blog formatting is unusual? In 2011? Seriously?

    5) The ZRC is a Zombie Rights advocacy organization. If Anti-Zombie authors are looking for sympathy they can go cry on George Romero’s shoulders, we’re busy. I actually *don’t* hope that everyone makes a living doing what they love. Many people love many highly objectionable things. Zombie-bashing is one of them.

    I hope this has answered some of your concerns, and addressed your misconception about this constituting a formal ZRC Review (which it is not, was not, and never shall be)

  3. [...] This post was mentioned on Twitter by John J Sears, John J Sears. John J Sears said: What happens if you cross blogging and the Zompocalypse? Find out in a new Anti-Zombie book we preview here: #zombie [...]

  4. I know it’s kind of silly, but the part I keep getting stuck on is…

    What’s Times Square got to do with anything?

  5. Andrew Leal (ZRC Cultural Historian) says:

    Apparently it’s a worse place to be spit on than, say, Levittown or the steps of the UCSD Geisel Library in San Diego. It sounds like an untested theory though, unless some people are spit upon with alarming frequency wherever they go (in which case after awhile, location would presumably seem irrelevant).

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