Ok, we talked earlier about how the irrational fear and disgust many experience when thinking about the Undead was being used to sell mattresses, and the ZRC even got a conciliatory response on that one. Great. But sometimes the Z-Rights game is like whack-a-mole, and where one scourge falls another shall rise to try and push a genre of consumer product based on fears of Zombiism.

In this case, a blog dedicated to running shoes trying to evaluate what the best footwear is for a ‘Zombie Apocalypse’:

So anyway, this morning I’m staring into my closet and I think: “What would I wear when the world is in shambles and zombies are snacking on everyone in sight?” This of course leads to me to stare down at my shoes, only to discover I have nothing that would be appropriate to run for my life in. Not good. Thus I began my quest to find the perfect zombie-apocalypse shoe.

…

Brand: Brooks

Styles tested: Glycerin 8, Ghost 3

Zombie-apocalypse ready? Overall Brooks was my favorite brand to try. I’d never worn a Brooks shoe before and was pleasantly surprised. I found that both shoes slide on easily, which is a necessity when you’re awakened in the middle of the night by a dead moan outside your safehouse. The Ghost 3 felt a little loose in the heel but was otherwise nice. The Glycerin 8′s outsole is a high durability, abrasion-resistant rubber that should provide the longevity I’m looking for. Glycerin also has a ‘Sprung Platform’ makes the shoe curl up in the toe. I found that this helps propel me forward.

Z Award: Best shoe to be wearing during a zombie chase? Brooks Glycerin 8. It’s easy-on, breathable mesh and features a sprung platform to assist in forward momentum.

Bottom line: These shoes just might give me the advantage over the worst kind of zombie of all—the fast kind.

I’m terribly offended, which isn’t new, but also surprised at just how frequently and easily Anti-Zombie fearmongering slips into commercialism these days. If you as an American consumer have a fear of Zombies (something which Robert Kirkman, Max Brooks and George Romero are working hard to ensure), then someone somewhere has a favorite product, brand, or lifestyle alteration to sell you on, whether they’re being compensated to do so or not.

It’s really kind of creepy.

This article in particular, with its fixation on avoiding the Undead at all costs (because of course they want to devour your delicious brain) and even throwing your friends and comrades to them as a distraction (which really makes *you* out to be the good guy doesn’t it?) is morally reprehensible. I mean, the article is accompanied by a photograph of Zombies peacefully running in some marathon-like race, and yet the text presupposes that Zombies are all wild beasts fixated on brain munching. Obviously, the author should know better, has seen evidence to the contrary, and chooses to ignore it.

So they can rate running shoes.

*sigh*

At this rate we’ll never get the shoe companies to make footwear catering to Zombie needs, and that’s a real pity. Thanks a lot, runningshoes.com. Thanks a lot.

Tags: Journamalism

This entry was posted by John Sears on Saturday, May 21st, 2011 at 3:33 pm and is filed under Zombie Media. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.