Talk about selling people on a Tiger Rock. Yeesh:

It’s reasonable to think that cell phones would survive the immediate aftermath of the zombie apocalypse. We’ll call “immediate aftermath” one week. Suspend disbelief with us and assume all cell sites and wireless networks wouldn’t dissolve simultaneously, because it’s an apocalypse brought on by zombies, and zombies aren’t smart. It’s not like they’re going to make a plan to knock out the national electric grid.

We’re guesstimating that leaves the average user with a window of about one week to get what they can out of their cells before the stone-age hits. What can post-apocalypse survivors get out of cell phones? Same thing they got pre-apocalypse—apps, baby. Useful apps that could possibly mean the difference between life and horrible, eviscerating death.

Oh goody, what kind of ‘apps’ are going to save us from this non-existent threat you’re peddling, Living Supremacists at ‘The Smoking Jacket?

What indeed. Their site highlights an app about general military knowledge, a sort of med-school-in-a-box app, an app for detecting pollution… and yes, eventually, a pornographic application.

Because watching *that* is precisely what will keep the ‘horde’ from breaking down your barricade.

Added bonus is that the Smoking Jacket site seems laden down with popups and annoying ads, so browse with caution.

We see the ‘Zombie Apocalypse’ used to push all sorts of things here at the ZRC. Swords, books, movies, houses… but now smartphone apps?

It’d be unbelievable, except of course that it’s all true. A fool and his money are soon parted, and the Anti-Zombie merchandising industry is counting on its victims being really, really foolish.

Probably a safe bet.

Tags: Advertising, Anti-Zombie Products, Journamalism, Toys

This entry was posted by John Sears on Saturday, June 4th, 2011 at 2:14 pm and is filed under Zombie Media. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.