Is there anything that can’t be tied to hating the Differently Animated these days?

Perhaps you thought to yourself at one point, ‘The Space Program seems like a fairly safe topic. Surely I can read up on NASA without finding ugly, Living Supremacist rhetoric in my web browser.’

Would that it were so, Zombie Ally. But it’s not:

NASA is very good at preparing for almost every conceivable problem. In that spirit, visitors to NASA should also be prepared. Wear sunscreen, drink plenty of water, observe fire exits, and always be ready for zombie attack. Even the Center For Disease Control recognizes the need for preparedness for the zombie apocalypse.

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If zombies approach your launch viewing area,

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Don’t be tempted to humanize them, reason with them, or feel sorry for them. They make look like your poor dead friend, but they’re not.

This same post also provides a handy list of weapons to use in massacring those innocent Undead who might have come out to watch a Shuttle launch as well, assuming that since their tax dollars help pay for NASA they have just as much right to be there as the Living:

Weapon Useful? Comments
Shotgun Yes Can separate head from body. No need to get close. This is the best zombie fighting weapon.

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Smacking on nose with rolled up newspaper No Seriously? You just want to die, don’t you?

Really? Associating the exploration of space with bashing the Undead on Earth? Just who would want to do that, and would NASA condone their actions?

Turns out, perhaps so:

My name is Renna Warren. I’m a chemical engineer living in Knoxville, TN. I’ve won a spot at the STS-135 NASA Tweetup. That means that I and 149 others will tour some exciting places, meet people involved in the final launch of the Space Shuttle program, and snag some great seats 3 miles from the pad for the launch. Technically, NASA would like us to use those great press viewing area seats to report back, via twitter or something else, our shuttle launch experience. We’ll have wifi, tables, powerstrips. While some of my fellow Tweeters may be almost like real journalists, I feel more like I’m just playing at being a rocket scientist and a journalist at the same time.

A yellow journalist maybe!

As is often the case these days, I am outraged. This is what qualifies one to be an embedded reporter to cover a historic event, the last shuttle launch?

NASA should immediately make it clear that their organization does not tolerate this Zombie bashing. They should also ensure that at least one Zombie Friendly source is reporting from their event to balance out this rampant hatemonger.

Otherwise I think it’s clear that the forces of bigotry will triumph and sully that historic occasion, and nobody wants it to go down that way in the history books.

Tags: Journamalism, Social Justice

This entry was posted by John Sears on Friday, July 1st, 2011 at 8:52 am and is filed under Zombie Media. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.