The Zombie Rights Campaign Blog

Hardware Store Chain Tries to Sell to Zombies and their Persecutors

This is one of the very strangest promotional campaigns relating to the Differently Animated we’ve yet seen:

In a pop-culture world of zombie marches, video games and television shows, one regional hardware chain has taken the novel approach of actively marketing power tools and garden implements as protection against the undead.

And not to leave out the walking dead, Westlake Ace Hardware’s online “Zombie Preparedness Center” has a “Me zombie” section touting bolts and fasteners for broken bones, glue and caulk for peeling skin, and deodorizers to freshen up decaying flesh. Lose a limb? Try duct tape!

Now, clearly, the ZRC would be happier if the chain focused on selling to the Zombie market and not to pandering toward their oppressors in the Anti-Zombie Community. That goes without saying really.

But still! Marketing TO Zombies? That’s a very promising development in our capitalist society. First they oppress you, then they sell to you, and once they sell to you, you have leverage, right?

Economic power is important on the path to developing political power.

And yes, clearly, the chain’s ideas of what would or would not be marketable to the Undead is a bit… limited and stereotypical, focused on ‘decay’ and suchlike. Still, that they want to sell to Zombies at all seems like a big step forward to us.

We recommend that Zombies in the states with Westlake Ace Hardware stores* consider going and purchasing some hosuehold tools this month. After all, if the campaign brings in a lot of Zombie money compared to Anti-Zombie money, that will be a powerful incentive to focus on Zombie Friendliness in the future.

You can see their site’s special ‘sell to both sides’ section here.

*Apparently Iowa, Missouri, Kansas, Nebraska, Oklahoma, Texas and New Mexico


About The Author

The role of 'Administrator' will be played tonight by John Sears, currently serving as President of The Zombie Rights Campaign.

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