The Zombie Rights Campaign Blog

Lego Decides Zombie Kids Can Play with Something Else

I’ve been looking at this for some time now, and I can’t begin to fathom it. I really can’t.

Lego is putting out a series of special, collectible little Lego figurines. You know, the tiny people who can interact with the things you construct out of the beloved, often primary colored connectible play blocks.

Included in this first wave is a ‘Zombie’, but even I, a veteran Zombie Rights campaigner, well-versed in the many forms of Living Supremacist prejudice, was unprepared for the toy they’re foisting off on the chidlren of the world.

Check out the description:

Zombie

“Briiiiiiiiiicks…”

Slow in speed and even slower of mind, the lumbering Zombie may look a little scary, but he’s completely harmless in every way. Everything he does is slow, mindless and repetitive, from zoning out while watching TV, to waiting in line at the grocery store, to stacking one brick on top of another to build a perfectly even, completely featureless wall that stretches along for miles and miles.

If you interrupt him, he’ll just stare at you blankly before going back to whatever he was doing before. If you put an obstacle in front of him, he’ll keep bumping into it over and over again until someone turns him around. If you pick him up and move him to a new place, he’ll start doing something mindless there instead. The only thing that seems to motivate him is his cherished turkey leg – if you dangle it in front of him, he’ll stretch his arms out toward it and follow it wherever it goes.

Wow. I’m legitmately, completely shocked and appalled. What is Lego *thinking*? Don’t they understand the hateful stereotyping they’re engaged in? What will the little Zombie children of the world do when they find this toy in the aisle at the local Toys R Us? When they’re playing with a friend and little Living Billy gets out his Legos and lo and behold, there’s the Zombie stereotype figure?

Even though the line consists of broad caricatures of various iconic figures, they’re generally presented with a bit of humor, wit and sympathy. But no, not the ZOMBIE. The Zombie gets made into a pathetic joke, a sad, unintelligent drone who you literally lead around by the nose with a TREAT.

Once again we’re presented with a toy that I have to keep away from poor Tim. He’s quite sensitive you know; Zombie kid self-esteem can be a fragile thing. Who knew that we’d all have to shield our young Undead friends and family from hate-speech proudly bearing the Lego logo? What a dark day this is indeed.


About The Author

The role of 'Administrator' will be played tonight by John Sears, currently serving as President of The Zombie Rights Campaign.

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