The Zombie Rights Campaign Blog

Zombies Don’t Need Backhanded Compliments, Let Alone Faux Academics

You know the phenomenon where someone appears to be flattering you but in fact is making a smarmy, sarcastic insult? There’s a term for those: ‘backhanded’ compliments, and Zombies get them quite a bit. Usually it’s a way of playing up how, supposedly, unintelligent and savage Zombies are – but boy, aren’t they persistent?

Brother.

You can see another example of this from, of course, the Anti-Zombie goon squad over at the Zombie Research Society as they discuss Zombies and honesty:

This reality highlights yet another fundamental difference between zombies and humans: Zombies don’t lie. In their relentless aggression, zombies seem incapable of masking their single-minded desire to hunt and eat every living person on the planet. They want what they want, and they’re nod afraid to let it be known.

In fact, zombies are unique to most other popular monsters in their pathological truthfulness. By contrast vampires keep their identity secret. They lie through their spiked teeth about their past, their eating habits, and why they can’t make it to your beach party this weekend. Werewolves aren’t big on talking about their monthly “problem” either.

First of all, ZRS, don’t think we didn’t notice the attempt to divide and conquer amongst the Differently Animated. Shame on you. Vampires and Werewolves are the Zombie Community’s natural comrades in arms, as much as you might try to foment misunderstanding and mistrust.

Secondly, why do these ‘monsters’ owe you, the archetypical Living Supremacist bigot, honesty to begin with? Most likely you’ll just use it as an excuse to grab a stake or some silver and get to slaughtering those different from yourselves.

Because isn’t that what the ZRS is all about?

Rather than talking about the honesty of Zombies, why not discuss the dishonesty of the Zombie Research Society? Your goal isn’t to ‘research’ Zombies, it’s to exterminate them, thus eliminating a vibrant community from the planet, as well as any future academic inquiry. The ZRS doesn’t want to learn about Zombies, to interact with them, but to destroy them. Quite frankly they’d be happiest having no Zombies to ‘research’ at all.

And that’s terrible.


About The Author

The role of 'Administrator' will be played tonight by John Sears, currently serving as President of The Zombie Rights Campaign.

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