Another day, another thoughtless ZRS post to discuss. Here’s one for the holidays, sort of, entitled ‘Why Zombies Don’t Look Like Santa’:

Since it’s commonly thought that a person’s hair and nails continue to grow after death, shouldn’t all male zombies have long beards? The short answer is: no.

Despite popular belief, human hair and nails do not continue to grow once a person has died. It is true that all the cells in a dead body don’t stop functioning at exactly the same time, but any resulting growth is negligible. Instead, the appearance of hair growth in a corpse can be explained by skin drying out and receding

Yes, they manage to find a way to talk about Zombies in regard to Santa. But I ask: isn’t it more likely that Santa Claus is, himself, a Zombie already?

I mean, think about it: he’s tireless, ageless, and stays almost year-round in a cool climate, conducive to the long-term preservation of flesh. Maybe Kris Kringle is Undead?

Think about that the next time you get coal in your stockings, Zombie Research Society.

Tags: Journamalism

This entry was posted by John Sears on Friday, December 23rd, 2011 at 11:06 pm and is filed under Zombie Media. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.