The Zombie Rights Campaign Blog

Blog Post with Very Offensive Content Reopens Debate on Best Tools of Zombie Oppression

We’re not fans of the ‘blades vs guns’ debate when it comes to Zombies, but it’s rarely been laid out in such Living Supremacist detail, so this blog post is worth a look:

This week I’m turning Chris Writes About The End Of The World into an open forum for debate. Please welcome another Chris Who Writes About The End Of The World, Christopher Eger. Christopher Eger’s new book, Last Stand on Zombie Island, aims to take a more realistic look at the zombie apocalypse. One of the areas Chris is able to be particularly accurate about is the description of guns and the way they’re used, being a self described “recovering gun nut”.

On hearing about this, I asked Chris to respond to the self-evident truth that, should the zombie apocalypse actually happen, guns would actually be totally useless.

Essentially the, ahem, debate comes down to two positions:

Chris #1: Blades don’t need reloading.

Chris #2: Bullets move faster than Zombies*

*Assuming that Neo from The Matrix is not a Zombie. He died and came back, so this is a topic for further inquiry to our minds.

Notice that a peaceful, let alone diplomatic, solution is never seriously considered! In fact, diplomacy is openly scorned by Mr. Eger:

Thanks to Chris for the invitation to visit your choice of armament against the seething hordes of the shambling and running undead. I agree wholeheartedly that any weapon at all is better than the hippy hug-a-zombie approach. We started hugging the Soviets a few decades ago and you see where that got us! What I do disagree on, is that firearms are the go-to weapon of choice over shovels in the upcoming zombie apocalypse.

I would just like to note here that neither bludgeons nor firearms brought an end to the Cold War – it was talking. Talking with our ‘enemies’.

Not sure if hugs were involved. Someone should ask the Reagan estate.

Clearly, we need more, and better, options than these. A ‘Zombie Apocalypse’ isn’t going to get any better for all of us, and become the Global Reanimation Block Party we all crave, unless we can put aside these violent prejudices. It’s really in everyone’s best interest.

About The Author

The role of 'Administrator' will be played tonight by John Sears, currently serving as President of The Zombie Rights Campaign.


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