‘Zombie-Proof’ House Demonstrates the Futile Architecture of Bigotry
And the hate-fest against Zombiekind expands to yet another field:
“The Safe House,” designed by KWK Promes, starts to get eerily close to something I could work with, if say 200 bludgeoned members of the undead army came over to eat their way into borrowing some sugar.
“The most essential item for our clients was acquiring the feeling of maximum security,” begins the designers’ website in the summary of the structure. Who wouldn’t feel safe in a concrete rectangle that folds in upon itself to become completely sealed? Even the windows are covered with a slab of concrete when the structure is on nap time.
First of all, I have to say, I love these people who are convinced that they can ride out a huge disaster of any sort in a bunker. Yes… how much food and water do you have on hand in there? Or air? Depending on the nature of the Apocalypse you’re facing, you might not want to breathe the outside air.
It’s more than a little reminiscent of the bomb shelter craze during the Cold War, the difference being that the Soviet Union could, in fact, have pasted us at a moment’s notice, whereas the Undead population don’t actually have the capability to bring civilization to its knees instantaneously just because George Romero said they would. Not that a bomb shelter would do much but extend your misery, given the aforementioned problems with surviving in a post-nuclear blasted hellscape, no matter what Fallout games might tell you. (On the other hand they’re great about Zombie Rights)
Really though, the fallacy goes back further, the notion that meaningful safety can be obtained for a very small group of people inside a house, protected from the cares of the outside world. We could all learn from Edgar Allen Poe in this regard:
And now was acknowledged the presence of the Red Death. He had come like a thief in the night. And one by one dropped the revellers in the blood-bedewed halls of their revel, and died each in the despairing posture of his fall. And the life of the ebony clock went out with that of the last of the gay. And the flames of the tripods expired. And Darkness and Decay and the Red Death held illimitable dominion over all.
Face facts people; nobody gets out unscathed. That’s why it’s all the more important to avoid unnecessary conflict and warfare and apocalypses and find peaceful solutions to our problems. And that in turn is what the ZRC is all about. Rather than building modern-day castles to fend off your largely imaginary enemies, castles that would never serve their intended function anyway, how about lending us a hand while we build a fairer and more just future for the Living and the Undead alike?
PS: It should be noted that it doesn’t seem that the original house was designed with a specific disaster in mind, just generic ‘safety’ concerns. The internet of course translated that into Anti-Zombiism.
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