After Fearmongering Against Our Zombie Clients, the CDC Denies They Exist?
Remember last year when, with much fanfare, the CDC decided to try and scare America with Zombies, in the name of disaster preparedness?
We sure do. We also remember when they had to start walking back their scare campaign in the face of.. people believing them, essentially.
Well, now it’s come full circle, and the CDC has decided the best way to clean the egg off their collective faces is to deny their victims even exist:
I’d bet the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention never imaged that they would be issuing a statement to allay public concerns about a zombie apocalypse. “CDC does not know of a virus or condition that would reanimate the dead (or one that would present zombie-like symptoms),” an agency official told the Huffington Post last week.
…
But did the campaign actually get people to prepare for public health emergencies? Or did it just provide federally endorsed fodder for “the end is near” theories circulating on the web? I think the latter.
Yes, they really did issue such a denial:
The horrific face-eating arrest in Miami and several other seemingly subhuman acts has many people wondering what’s behind this flesh-munching wave of terror.
A zombie apocalypse, however, is not what we should be worried about, at least according to the federal government.
Over the years the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention has released a couple of tongue-in-cheek “zombie warnings,” which really are just disaster-preparedness stunts. But on Thursday, the agency made it official: Zombies don’t exist.
Excuse us? Zombies don’t exist? The Zombie Rights Campaign begs to differ!
A good question about now would be why the CDC is inventing first slurs against the peaceful and law-abiding Zombie population, then retracting their advice, and finally, denying the existence of the Undead entirely.
Seems like a great big waste of time and tax dollars to the ZRC.
About The Author
Comments