Weekly World News Spoofs Zombie Apocalypse Preparedness Plans
A hilariously tongue-in-cheek sendup of your various survivalist guides for the mythical ‘Zombie Apocalypse’ was published recently by The Weekly World News, no doubt in an attempt to correct the record and help in the battle against the vicious and of course internally inconsistent and contradictory stereotypes against the Differently Animated:
Worried about Zombies coming into your house? Here are 10 simple ways to stay safe!
…
Tall Fences: Building a tall smooth surfaced fence will prevent zombies from entering your property. Muscle tissue deteriorates in the transformation process rendering zombies incapable of scaling walls.
…
Well water vs. public water: Have a well on your property, in the event of a zombie outbreak you cannot rely on public water supply. The workers at your local water treatment facility might be zombies and everyone knows that zombies have absolutely no work ethic.
…
If you can’t beat them, join them: You might end up eating your first born but at least you won’t have to pay for their college tuition.
Hehe. Much like in the movies, one minute they’re just mindless shamblers, the next, as the plot requires, they become as cunning as need be to pose a threat, or, in this case, operate a complex water treatment facility (though they choose not to, perhaps as an act of nonviolent resistance or a collective bargaining strategy).
Good show for highlighting the inherently hilarious prospect that Zombies, who we should all know by now have no such plans, will overthrow Living civilization and then lurch around our ruined cities. The Weekly World News, bringing you Swiftian satire to illuminate the truth via hilarious lies and farce.
(To see the rest of their handy ‘tips’ for making it through the apocalypse that will never come, head on over to their site and read the whole thing. It should give you a chuckle.)
About The Author
Comments