Today via Twitter we here at the ZRC learned about a very different sort of Zombie-related public event:

Zombie Con is a once a year gathering of Zombie Squad members from around the world. This year we will be meeting in Irondale, MO for 5 days, starting June 22rd.

The goal of this week long event is to bring people together to share disaster preparation/survival experience, discuss the direction and future of the Zombie Squad community or to just get away for a week and enjoy some bad movies with good company under the stars.

Doesn’t sound so bad, does it? I mean, they seem to be aware that the majority of Zombie movies are bad ones. That’s a start. Who are these Zombie Squad people?

Zombie Squad is an elite zombie suppression task force ready to defend your neighborhood from the shambling hordes of the walking dead. We provide trained, motivated, skilled zombie extermination professionals and zombie survival consultants. Our people and our training are the best in the industry.

When the zombie removal business is slow we focus our efforts towards educating ourselves and our community about the importance of disaster preparation.

To satisfy this goal we host disaster relief charity fundraisers, disaster preparation seminars and volunteer our time towards emergency response agencies.

‘zombie extermination professionals’? ‘industry’? Using fundraisers for charity as a front for their operations?

These guys are like the cruel, violent, murderous Anti-Zombie Rights Campaign!

On the one hand, it’s vaguely flattering to have arch-nemeses, but we’re talking about organized paramilitary Living Supremacists here – this isn’t something to fool around with.

Just what sort of activities do these people have planned for their sinister retreat?

Wednesday (6/22):
Set up camp
Meet and greet your fellow ZS members
Watch some bad zombie movies

Thursday (6/23):
Morning PT
Seminars, presentations and discussion panels
Watch more zombie movies

Friday (6/24):
Morning PT
Field trip to a local shooting range (we supply trap device and clay pigeons)
Watch more zombie movies!

Saturday (6/25):
Morning PT
Breakfast provided by Zombie Squad
Canoe trip
MRE Lunch provided by Zombie Squad
Dinner provided by Zombie Squad
Watch zombie movies

Sunday (6/26):
Moan about being sore
Clean up and go home
Some of the seminars and discussion panels on the schedule hosted by experts in on their topic included in past Zombie Cons:
Radio Communications (including an ARRL special event station)
Charity fund raising discussion panel
Gourmet Campfire Cooking
Self Defense Techniques
Primitive Fire Building
Intro to Ammunition Hand Reloading
Plant Identification Basics
Blade Sharpening
First Aid
Astronomy – Night Navigation
A GeoCaching Course
Compass/Map Orienteering Course
and more…

It all makes sense now. These are crazed, bloodthirsty, rabidly Anti-Zombie Living Supremacist Survivalists! *Armed*, crazy Anti-Zombie fanatics! Armed, crazy Anti-Zombie fanatics pumped up on gunplay and indoctrinated with violent Anti-Zombie films! A veritable army of them no less.

Wow. Just… wow.

When and where will this powwow of hate and destruction be located?

Where will it be held?

The gathering will be located on private land in Irondale, MO (about 1.5 hours southwest of St. Louis). A map and detailed directions to the location will be provided. Since this is private land we don’t want to advertise it all over the Internet so it will be provided upon registrations. Please email us at camp@zombiehunters.org if you have any questions.

If you will need transportation from St. Louis or from the airport/bus station please contact us ahead of time and arrangements can be made.

On the basis of this alarming development the ZRC is hereby issuing a Travel Advisory for all Zombies and Zombie Allies in the Midwest to avoid, until further notice, Missouri in general and the area around Irondale, Missouri in particular. Based on this information we have to assume that the Missouri area is riddled with covert Anti-Zombie militants who may have infiltrated local emergency response centers and be posing as, or even acting publicly as first responders.

I repeat, for your own safety it is best to simply steer clear of this whole region until further notice. If you have no choice but to go to Missouri, keep a low profile and attempt to avoid all interaction with law enforcement. Conduct your business discreetly and leave as soon as circumstances permit.

The ZRC will issue periodic updates as further news arrives. Let’s just hope this barbaric little retreat doesn’t spill over into widespread violence against the Differently Animated.

Tags: Social Justice, ZRC Travel Advisory

This entry was posted by John Sears on Tuesday, February 15th, 2011 at 10:43 pm and is filed under ZRC News. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.