When you choose to associate with unsavory and violent individuals and institutions it should come as little surprise if you are harmed as well, but still it’s rare to see such a crass and transparent abuse of trust between a business and its customer base as this franchise opportunity being marketed by a rabidly Anti-Zombie organization:

Equipment: Once you’re part of the 888-WuzDead family, you’ll be treated with respect and dignity. You are now a Figure of Prominence in your community, and you need to be outfitted accordingly. 888-WuzDead will provide you, at no more that 15% over retail price, all the necessary equipment, automobiles, arms and munitions, uniforms, stationary, and toiletries that you will ever need, on a continuing and legally binding basis, for the lifetime of your business plus ten years. It’s an amazing deal!

Observation: Many franchisees have to put up with company observers, surprise maintenance and compliance inspections, and periodic re-qualifying tests. That’s just not the 888-WuzDead way. You keep sending in the checks, and we’ll stay out of your business. After all, if it’s making money, it must be working!

The extremely (and literally) mercenary individuals at 888-WuzDead hate Zombies. That much they admit openly, and even prominently advertise. What their business model makes clear, however, is that they hate other Zombie Haters almost as much.

I mean, let’s say you take them up on this evil offer. First of all: shame on you! You’re an awful excuse for a human being, trying to eradicate your fellow human beings for money.

Second, though, you’re now locked into a legally binding arrangement where you’re compelled to forever pay 888-WuzDead an outrageous markup on your supplies and business needs in perpetuity no less. What do you get from 888-Wuzdead in exchange for this surcharge? Apparently it’s limited to ‘respect’ and ‘dignity’.

Which of course you don’t deserve in the first place, being a vicious Zombie Murderer for Hire and all.

Evil sows the seeds of its own destruction, I suppose. While the Zombie Rights Movement is supportive and compassionate, a broad coalition looking out for the interests of its members and society at large, Anti-Zombie individuals have repeatedly shown themselves to be vicious schemers not above sabotaging and conspiring against their own kind.

We can all learn a lesson from that phenomenon, I believe.

Tags: Advertising, Anti-Zombie Products, Social Justice

This entry was posted by John Sears on Thursday, May 26th, 2011 at 11:12 am and is filed under Zombie Media. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.