The ZRC Comments on ‘How Dangerous is a Zombie’ Chart/Controversy
We had this item passed to us by numerous individuals on Tuesday, but I believe The Horror Society, our long trusted correspondents, got it to us first:
Yes, that’s right; a chart that claims to categorize all Zombies by two axes: speed and intelligence.
Nevermind that the idea of a single, easily quantifiable measurement of intelligence is increasingly regarded as pseudoscience.
Or that these are fictional depictions of the Differently Animated made by highly biased and sensationalist individuals looking to sell movie tickets.
Or that the chart presupposes a zero-sum game being inevitably played out between the Living and the Undead, an assertion that we heartily reject here at the ZRC.
Brother. This chart isn’t just highly offensive, even taken at face value it has very little explanatory power. Note that the axes aren’t labeled in any detail, the units of measurement and scale are not quantified. Note also some highly questionable placements of the individuals from various films. Why does the hive mind in ‘Slither’ qualify as ‘Dumb’, for example? They were interstellar travelers who may or may not have had access to some sort of faster than light travel. Does that make everyone at NASA even dumber?
And why are the ‘Evil Dead’ categorized as slow? Have you *seen* how fast some of those Deadites can move? And talk about acrobatic! Geez, if the world wasn’t so bigoted, they could probably get jobs in Cirque du Soleil.
The ZRC rejects this chart, not just for being a bad piece of quasi-scientific hate speech, but for its bigotry and prejudice, for attempting to pigeonhole diverse individuals with thoughts and feelings by the nature of the particular mechanism by which they were animated (Unborn this Way?) and for being just plain unfair in downplaying the achievements and abilities of the Differently Animated.
We rate this chart as ‘Living Supremacist’.
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