We talked about Anti-Zombie targets for gun-toting Zombophobes to use in their murder-practice sessions recently, as well as merchants of death for sad, sad roleplaying nerds who want to pay hundreds of dollars for a proper Anti-Zombie sword.

What about taking it to the next level (of fear, for the ZRC)? Is there anyone out there making guns, firearms specifically designed to target the innocent Undead?

Well, not quite yet, but soon. I present to you ‘ZERO Heavy Industries’, a custom gunsmith site that is advertising their upcoming Anti-Zombie firearms designs.

Really:

Zombies… the walking dead, the shambling horde…
We’re pretty much convinced that the worst possible thing that could ever be imagined would be a zombie apocalypse. Hordes of undead corpses killing and eating anything in their path, changing the way you act, react, think, and live.

Don’t get us wrong; our weapons systems are no joke.

We’re by no means expecting everyone that comes to this site to “get it”. You’re either on the level, or you aren’t.

The Zombie euphemism is one that helps drive our product research, design, testing, and evaluation processes. We develop, test, and seek out gear that is designed for the worst possible conditions that could ever be encountered. We want what you purchase from ZERO Heavy Industries to be something that you can rely on in any environment; competition shooting, hunting, target shooting, home defense, or even a global Zombie pandemic (please read World War Z by Max Brooks if you haven’t already).

Do you see, Max Brooks, Robert Kirkman, George Romero et al? Do you get it now, do you understand what you started? I hope you’re happy.

(Not actually, they should be filled with shame and self-loathing).

ZERO Heavy Industries don’t have any guns for sale yet, fortunately, but that could change at any time. I sincerely hope Mr. Brooks will come out of seclusion in whatever spider hole/End Times bunker he’s constructed to allay his own fears of the Zombie Apocalypse to talk these Zero Heavy guys down from the ledge. Perhaps Robert Kirkman could do some PSAs to run on television apologizing to the Undead community for his role in spreading the sort of hatred that makes them want Anti-Zombie custom firearms.

I would say Mr. Romero should do another Creepshow but as I understand it that’s not up to him, and a new one is in development anyway sans Romero. So for now, I dunno, community service would be nice.

Regardless, the time has come for these major icons of Living Supremacism to come forward and repent publicly to their many fans. Otherwise who knows what some enterprising Zombie-Hating whacko might do with the guns ZERO Heavy Industries are designing. I shudder even to think.

Obviously, if and when these products designed specifically to maim or kill Zombies reach the market, they will be rated as EXTREMELY Living Supremacist.

Tags: Anti-Zombie Products, ZRC Reviews

This entry was posted by John Sears on Saturday, June 25th, 2011 at 7:00 pm and is filed under Zombie Media. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.