The Zombie Rights Campaign Blog

Something Max Brooks and the ZRC Could Agree On: This Anti-Zombie Weapon is Silly

Gizmodo approvingly writes up a bizarre and almost-hilariously-impractical Anti-Zombie weapon modification, hilarious that is except that some gun-toting survivalist nerd will probably try to use it for real on a poor, innocent Zombie:

The zombie fad will soon be as old and tired as steampunk, but ridiculous creations like this electric chainsaw accessory designed to hang off the front of an AK-47 can still coax a smile out of me.

The Zombie-X rifle was created by DoubleStar as a more effective tool for dealing with the imaginary apocalypse of the undead that’s never going to happen. The most notable addition to the modified AK-47 is a battery-powered electric chainsaw mounted to the business end of the rifle for imaginary melee attacks.

Excuse us, Gizmodo? ‘Zombie fad’? Zombies aren’t a fad, they’re a long-suffering oppressed minority group, and we wish you’d stop trying to reduce their diverse culture and community to some ephemeral impact on the zeitgeist.

Zombies are people too.

That being said, this electric chainsaw thing is ridiculous on any number of levels, not the least of which is the electric part. Seriously? So you’re expecting to have regular recharging sessions for this glorified toy while you’re on the run from the ‘Undead hordes’ during a ‘Zombie Apocalypse’?

Then there’s the matter of spraying blood and gore all over a gun, which has, you know, moving parts to clog with your unfortunate victims’ remains. This is an AK-47, sure, but even those legendarily reliable firearms will probably jam when you spray a bunch of bone and hair and gore over everything and down the barrel.

Much as I hate to admit it, Max Brooks, evildoer that he is, had a point when he stated, infamously, that ‘Blades don’t need reloading’. It’s true, unless your blade is a chainsaw, in which case it does, and an electric chainsaw, in which case it needs an outlet and some downtime for said reloading.

Survivalist nerds. They’d be funny if they weren’t such a threat to the innocent Undead population trying to go about their daily Unlives.


About The Author

The role of 'Administrator' will be played tonight by John Sears, currently serving as President of The Zombie Rights Campaign.

Comments

One Response to “Something Max Brooks and the ZRC Could Agree On: This Anti-Zombie Weapon is Silly”

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