The Zombie Rights Campaign Blog

Using Fear of the ‘Zombie Apocalypse’ to Sell Cloud-Based Software? To Dentists?

Truly some of the stuff we come across here at the ZRC is so bizarre it feels like the entire universe might be pulling a fast one on us.

Case in point, a lengthy blog post that attempts to use the fear of a ‘Zombie Apocalypse’ to push the concept of web-based software for dentists:

One key attribute of every potential surviving dentist will be their ability to be quick on their feet. Being able to evacuate to a safe zone in a most expeditious manner is critical. Doctors who have ignored the many warnings of impending doom and who have glossed over the many benefits of the cloud will be at a great disadvantage. Traditional client-server software will be an anchor around their necks when the first orders for evacuation are given. These poor souls will still be trying to pull cables and fit their servers in the trunks of their cars when the first wave of zombies ambles around the block, looking for fresh meat. Alas, they will either become infected themselves or serve as another main course for the zombie hordes.

Look, I like ‘the cloud’ as much as the next fellow. The ZRC is a huge fan of Dropbox, for example.

But I think that in the event of an ALLEGEDLY catastrophic social change one has to assume the internet might, MIGHT be down, and having patient data on the Cloud could be less than useful.

Or my mp3s, say.

Technical issues aside, this piece represents yet another sad attempt to use fear of Zombies for commercial gain, and we condemn it for the mercenary, inflammatory, inherently offensive demagoguery it is.

One has to give the author, now-known-as-a-Living-Supremacist Andy Jensen, some credit though: he doesn’t miss a trick, and the sheer number of problems caused by this ‘Apocalypse’ and any dentists foolish enough not to use web-based services is staggering:

Unfortunately, these doctors will spend more time working with their servers to access patient information than with their families who may be traumatized and in need of comfort. The long-term effects of this trauma, if not immediately addressed, will lead to tens of thousands who will suffer from the effects of PTSD.

You get the idea. It goes on like that… a lot.

It’s worth noting that Mr. Jensen is VP of Marketing for, you guessed it, a dental software firm, Curve Dental, and I don’t think it’s too early to speculate about the financial soundness of a company whose executives see the world’s population dominated by the Undead (in this scenario) and decide that it’s better to market to the dwindling, isolated, Living population.

That sounds like a great way to meet quarterly expectations. Let us know how that Long Tail marketing works out for you, Curve Dental.

About The Author

The role of 'Administrator' will be played tonight by John Sears, currently serving as President of The Zombie Rights Campaign.


2 Responses to “Using Fear of the ‘Zombie Apocalypse’ to Sell Cloud-Based Software? To Dentists?”

  1. Wayne Zombie says:

    If there is a Differently Animated Block Party, continuing dental coverage is going to be very low on my list of priorities, as is my job.

  2. John Sears says:

    I imagine once the Block Party settles in the need for services like dentistry will reassert itself. People will have to get cavities filled, teeth pulled, etc. Life (and Unlife) goes on.

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