The Zombie Rights Campaign Blog

A Zombie-Fearing Survivalist and His Money Are Soon Parted

We’ve talked before on the ZRC blog about the cottage industry catering to those poor, misguided, paranoid souls who are afraid the Zombie Apocalypse is always right around the corner.

You know the type. Stockpiling food, blades, ammunition. Wondering what sort of air filtration system their bunker needs to keep out Solanum or Trioxin.

Scary people, who often seem to have lots of spare cash lying around. That must be the hope, at least, behind this:

Anyway, if you still feel like you’re in danger, then you might be one of the few who’s willing to unload $24,000 to purchase the Z.E.R.O. Zombie Apocalypse Kit. It’s got everything – and I do mean everything – you’ll ever need to fight off the undead and protect yourself while you’re out in the wild.

Highlights of the Z.E.R.O. kit include thermal and night vision scopes, guns, knives, tactical vests, multitools, practice targets and even tools for evaluating biological samples.

Wow. Just.. wow.

I mean.. wow.

To have all that money and only want to spend it fending off imaginary threats? Oppressing the Undead? Barricading yourself in a shack somewhere waiting for the End of Days?

It’s so sad, and precisely what we’re fighting against here at the ZRC.

Perhaps even worse is the cheerful, if probably sociopathic, attitude of the individuals peddling said kit. Observe:

Amazing! Astounding! Incredibly offensive!

And it goes on and on like that at their actual webpage for this odious package deal:

Preventing scrapes is the best way to keep blood from attracting zombies, so covering exposed skin with protective gear is essential. Blackhawk S.O.L.A.G. Kevlar Gloves keep hands safe from normal cuts, and the reinforced stitching stops zombie teeth from ripping through flesh and turning a healthy human into the enemy. Best of all, the molded knuckle protectors let you put a hard jab straight down the gullet of a walking dead monster in the event you’re unarmed.

Finally, their claims to providing a survival solution against the Undead Hordes are belied by the obvious desire for Undead slave laborers:

Properly tamed, a zombie can do the physical labor of 30 men without tiring. You will only be able to determine if a zombie can be tamed through laboratory research.

I say: Yikes. You want ‘tamed’ people to work for you as chattel but the Zombies are the bad guys?

I don’t think so, Optics

I don’t think so.

About The Author

The role of 'Administrator' will be played tonight by John Sears, currently serving as President of The Zombie Rights Campaign.


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