The Zombie Rights Campaign Blog

‘Resident Evil: Revelations’ Trailer Fails to Provide the Biggest Revelation: Why We Should Care

‘Resident Evil’ has been around for a long time now, and for some reason the series continues to sell very well year after year, despite having characters with all the depth of a birdbath and all the appeal of a rancid ham sandwich.

Upcoming offense against reason ‘Resident Evil: Revelations’ shows that the more things change, the more they stay the same:

Revealing a brand new storyline for the Resident Evil® series, Resident Evil® Revelations sees the return to survival horror, offering a tense and intriguing gameplay experience. Built from the ground up to take advantage of the Nintendo 3DS features, Resident Evil Revelations delivers outstanding visuals that bring the fear to life.

Taking place in 2005, between the events of Resident Evil® 4 and Resident Evil® 5, the action centers on BSAA (Bioterrorism Security Assessment Alliance) member Jill Valentine and introduces her new partner, Parker Luciani. The story is set principally on board a supposedly abandoned cruise ship, where Jill and Parker have been sent to search for Chris Redfield, based on his last known GPS coordinates. Far from being empty, the ship hides danger around every corner as Jill and Parker explore the confined space of the ship and must face a menacing new horror that emerges from the darkness.

Adding a new unique horror setting to the series, Resident Evil Revelations gives players the chance to venture underwater as they try to escape the terrifying creatures that are roaming the ship. But even the water does not provide safety as the creatures continue to attack from the depths while Jill and Parker make a desperate bid to make it off the ship alive.

Ahh, Resident Evil 4.5, situated in between the plots of the last two Resident Evil titles to grotesquely offend various ethnic minorities; I wonder, will ‘Revelations’ pick on some new minority group?

Let’s see, cruise ship setting… how about Jamaicans? I mean, you already hit Sub-Saharan Africa in ‘Resident Evil 5′, so it’d be a bit derivative to pick on Liberia, where many cruise ships are registered today.

Still, ripping itself off is what ‘Resident Evil’ does best, so it wouldn’t surprise me. The trailer reinforces the deja vu sensation with its display of another derivation of the same old, ‘pair of armed thugs trapped in some isolated locale fighting the Differently Animated’ setup, times two!

Yes, it looks like Revelations features a sassy female sidekick for Chris and an Italian man to carry Jill’s spare ammunition, and, one would suppose, lockpicks. That should spice up the sharply written Sorkin-esque banter the games are so famous for.

*rolls eyes*

Or not.

We’ve embedded the trailer for this new-and-Zombie-Rights-unimproved game below. It will launch soon on the 3DS, so you can find out what eyestrain does to your Anti-Zombie ‘skills’:


About The Author

The role of 'Administrator' will be played tonight by John Sears, currently serving as President of The Zombie Rights Campaign.

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