To whom it may concern:

Greetings from The Zombie Rights Campaign, the world’s premiere advocacy organization for the rights of the Differently Animated (popularly known as Zombies). Here at the ZRC we strive day in and day out to represent the noble and misunderstood Zombie, working hard to advance the cause of true Undead Equality across our often hostile and Living Supremacist country, and from there of course to the world at large. It’s not an easy task, though we relish the challenge of dispelling the hateful myths and fearful stereotypes surrounding our Respiration-Optional brothers and sisters.

So naturally there are times when even we must take a break, find some time to relax, a bit of escapist entertainment unrelated to our social work…. something to relax the mind and renew our stores of energy so that we might get back out there and redouble our efforts on behalf of our Uniquely Enlivened constituency. A couple of months ago in such a downtime, we purchased a copy of Bioshock 2 (the Xbox 360 version, though I don’t think that matters in this context), and promptly got distracted from the single player mode by the multiplayer campaign, followed by a busy summer convention season and running a small charity auction.

All the usual foibles of positive, pro-Zombie outreach.

Finally last week after completing some additional Zombie-friendly charitable work, ZRC Headquarters staff had time to unwind and play through the story mode. Overall it was an extremely positive experience and a very well made game, and served quite capably to relieve us of the heavy burden we choose to carry on behalf of Zombies everywhere.

That is, until we sat through the credits, and saw…. the comment.

Yes, you’re probably aware of the comment of which I speak. In your special thanks section of the end credits to an otherwise marvelous game, an anonymous employee drops a terrifying bombshell of an accusation: that 53,596 Zombies were killed; killed in the making of *your game*.

Naturally we are shocked and appalled. Assuming this allegation is true, it would be the worst and most heinous anti-Zombie pogrom since the Romero-inspired violence of the 70s-80s. If it is untrue, and we dearly hope this to be the case, it is merely an appallingly bad joke and a grave insult to all Zombies everywhere. Zombies aren’t just people too, with feelings to hurt and pride to injure; Zombies are consumers, good sir or madam, and they vote with their wallets. This offense, a terrible slight at the least and an act of genocide at worst, will surely result in action taken by the Pro-Zombie Lobby against your company. Boycotts, letter-writing campaigns, even, time and travel budget permitting, picket lines!

Hopefully none of that will be necessary, and this unfortunate incident can be put behind us all very shortly.

We eagerly await your response, and hope we can work through this most serious matter in a calm and civilized fashion.

John J Sears
President of The Zombie Rights Campaign

http://www.zombierightscampaign.org/

Tags: Social Justice, Zombie Gaming

This entry was posted by John Sears on Wednesday, July 28th, 2010 at 10:18 pm and is filed under Zombie Media. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.