Santa Claus. Immortal giver of joy, and toys, to children, at least in the American mythos. He of the rosy cheeks, chimney spelunking and the flying reindeer, Rudolph later added by Montgomery Ward.

And, for some reason, a noteworthy target of Anti-Zombie media creators.

It’s becoming routine to splash Zombies into holiday stories, almost invariably in a negative light. We’ve seen Anti-Zombie takes on get-togethers with the family and caroling, Brian Posehn wrote a Zombie Apocalypse survival story starring Santa, Marvel plans to put out a Zombie Hating version of A Christmas Carol, there’s even a Christmasy Bioterrorism simulator with an unfortunate Zombie-hook.

Given this pedigree, how long until someone had Santa himself munching on some brains? If it hasn’t happened before, it’s happening now:

Dick, a disgruntled Christmas elf who’s just been arrested for the murder of Santa Claus, rants about the unimaginable secrets going on at the North Pole. As this seriously dark humored holiday tale unfolds, unknown to the elf or the authorities, the real problem is awakening at the morgue. Zombie Santa wants brains and is thirsty for elf blood.

Yes folks, this is for real: Zombie Santa running amok, devouring brains instead of milk and cookies. Yikes.

Now, having watched the first two episodes, it’s clear that this series is rife with Anti-Zombie stereotypes, but it’s not clear that Santa’s the real villain here. Dick might qualify, since he seems to be lying to the police even with lives at risk (there are cops with jurisdiction over the North Pole?) and definitely put a hammer into another person’s skull.

‘Santa Preys for X-mas’ is currently in serial production, with two web episodes available. How will this gruesome and slanderous tale turn out?

If you want to find out, you’ll have to help the producers raise some money (which we definitely don’t recommend, given the currently produced segments). As for us, the ZRC is going to curl up with a good book and start a fire in the wood stove. We don’t need grotesque violence to drive away the winter chill here, and we certainly don’t require a scapegoat to enjoy each other’s company, on Christmas or any other day of the year. As a matter of fact, in years past the ZRC has arranged a Zombie Santa to deliver presents and candy to overlooked girls and boys during the holidays.

Ok, so a lot of them were fairly skeezy attendees at Atomic Age Cinema. Don’t deviants deserve a little holiday cheer too?

We think so here at the ZRC.

At any rate, ‘Santa Preys for X-mas’, a work in progress, is embedded below for your viewing displeasure.

Episode 1:

Episode 2:

Tags: Movies, Youtube Mischief

This entry was posted by John Sears on Sunday, March 6th, 2011 at 9:13 pm and is filed under Zombie Media. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.