The Zombie Rights Campaign Blog

The Single Most Elaborate Anti-Zombie Commercial in History

You know how sometimes life throws you a curve-ball and you end up seeing something that really transforms your view of the world, or some tiny portion thereof?

Now, we’ve seen Anti-Zombie and Zombie Friendly commercials here at the ZRC before; I am not unschooled in the art of using Zombies to market a product, either positively or negatively. But this..

This just blew me away. Utterly. This is without a doubt the most elaborate Anti-Zombie commercial I’ve ever seen. Ever.

Entitled ‘ DELIVER ME TO HELL – A zombie interactive adventure’, this is like a Choose Your Own Adventure Indie Film using the power of Youtube. It starts off as just another ‘Zombie Apocalypse’ story set in an office, but quickly becomes much much more… a young woman fleeing, naturally, a ravenous horde of the Undead ends up trapped atop a shipping container somewhere in New Zealand. She pulls out her phone and, inexplicably, calls up the deliver app for a local pizza chain, Hell Pizza.

No, seriously, there is such a chain in New Zealand.

And for some reason, their website looks EERILY like Ian’s Pizza here in Madison’s used to look. Weird. Maybe it’s the font? Or maybe there’s some worldwide pizza conspiracy?

At any rate, a Fire and Brimstone themed pizza chain is apparently her only hope for salvation, and the call gets through to an intrepid pizza delivery man/pizza chef who promptly takes off in the company vehicle to deliver her order… and that’s where it gets weird.

Your alleged hero from Hell Pizza.  Get used to that logo!
(Hell Pizza, anyone?)

This is an actual, interactive experience all right; you will be presented with a series of decisions that have to be made; the wrong one seems to lead inevitably to a gruesome and usually Zombie-inflicted death. Then the video rewinds, a voice presumably that of Satan himself, taunts you, and you get to choose the other path from your last branching-off point.
Compassion or liability? Your call.
(Choose wisely, at least, as wisely as you can in a Zombie Hating movie like this.)

All along the way as your characters try to survive the Apocalypse, the faithful pizza man perseveres, wearing his Hell Pizza shirt, driving his Hell Pizza car, carrying his Hell Pizza box in its Hell Pizza bag… hungry yet? They intend you to be.

Needless to say there are even instances where the pizza man and/or a traveling companion has to risk their very life to keep that box intact and on its way, which given the setting is absolute lunacy.

But it’s a commercial for Hell Pizza, which means that said pizza is literally the most important thing on Earth.

This is utterly astounding. As a serious fan of indie horror films I cannot believe the quality of the production, the cinematography, the pacing, it’s all fantastically done… which makes it all the more horrible for the grotesque defamation and exploitation of the Undead it entails, all in the name of selling pizza.

Pizza that, I might add, I can’t even picket, let alone order, since the stores are on the far side of the world.

The only upside for us here at the ZRC is that I finally have proof that the Anti-Zombie crowd is on the side of evil itself. A Satanic pizza chain from New Zealand confirms it.

‘DELIVER ME TO HELL’ sets a new standard for Anti-Zombie propaganda, folks. You have never, ever seen anything like this before, and hopefully never will again.

You, err, I, chose poorly.
(Now go to Hell. Maybe the one that sells pizza.)

The ZRC rates ‘DELIVER ME TO HELL’ as Living Supremacist. Utterly amazing, but Living Supremacist.

Hateful propaganda taken to a whole new, shiny, interactive level.

I’m embedding the start video below but you’re going to have to go to Youtube to see the rest anyway, so you might as well just hop on over there directly.


About The Author

The role of 'Administrator' will be played tonight by John Sears, currently serving as President of The Zombie Rights Campaign.

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