The Zombie Rights Campaign Blog

An Important Message from the Zombie Rights Campaign

Sparkly Vampires.

You’re probably well aware of their presence in our society. A new movie glorifying their lifestyle has just come out in American theatres, to the acclaim of millions of underage girls.

Who are their primary targets.

You see, Sparkly Vampires aren’t like other Undead. They don’t just try to get by, live and let Unlive. No. Sparkly Vampires are *celebrities*, and they feel like they don’t have to follow the rules. They can do whatever they like.

And apparently, ‘whatever they like’ is brooding, midnight baseball games, glitter and chasing your underage daughter. Thanks to a relentless commercial propaganda machine, these Sparkly menaces are adored for their antisocial behavior!

Check out this wikipedia blurb about the first book in their PR push, ‘Twilight’:

It is the first book of the Twilight series, and introduces seventeen-year-old Isabella “Bella” Swan, who moves from Phoenix, Arizona to Forks, Washington and finds her life in danger when she falls in love with a vampire, Edward Cullen.

That was just the beginning. Since then there have been three sequels and a film series, and they’ve grossed hundreds of millions of dollars.

And for what? Do people really adore emo skirt-chasing Undead prettyboys covered in glitter more than the noble, hardworking, team-oriented Zombie?

We think it must be the result of that slick propaganda, combined with some teenage gullibility. So the ZRC has decided to stop it cold.

With this: Zombies Forever

This is our newest product, available in free desktop form here and at the FM con in person today for only 5 dollars. Two dollars of every copy sold at the con goes to the Lynn Sage Cancer Research people, and you can take pride in displaying that you are aware of the con these Glowy Grabasses are pulling and won’t put up with it, no sir!

Zombies Forever

Sparkly Vampires NEVER


About The Author

The role of 'Administrator' will be played tonight by John Sears, currently serving as President of The Zombie Rights Campaign.

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