I wanted to deal with this shocking and almost unspeakable offense by an agency of the United States Federal Government sooner, but their blasted original blog page was down.. a lot.. and the ZRC always tries to evaluate primary sources when feasible in the name of journalistic integrity.

Still, it’s getting a ton of press:

(Reuters) – A Centers for Disease Control blog post mentioning a “zombie apocalypse” as a lighthearted way to get Americans to read about preparing for the hurricane season drove so much traffic that it crashed the website, the center said on Thursday.

The Zombie Apocalypse campaign is a social media effort by the CDC’s Public Health and Preparedness center to spread the word about preparing for the June 1 start of hurricane season.

“There are all kinds of emergencies out there that we can prepare for,” the blog post starts innocently enough. “Take a zombie apocalypse for example … You may laugh now, but when it happens you’ll be happy you read this, and hey, maybe you’ll even learn a thing or two about how to prepare for a real emergency.”

Fortunately they managed to stabilize the site and your humble ZRC President was able to peruse the post today and..
it’s not pretty, in fact, it’s riddled with inaccuracies, fearmongering and hate:

A Brief History of Zombies
We’ve all seen at least one movie about flesh-eating zombies taking over (my personal favorite is Resident Evil), but where do zombies come from and why do they love eating brains so much? The word zombie comes from Haitian and New Orleans voodoo origins. Although its meaning has changed slightly over the years, it refers to a human corpse mysteriously reanimated to serve the undead. Through ancient voodoo and folk-lore traditions, shows like the Walking Dead were born.

In movies, shows, and literature, zombies are often depicted as being created by an infectious virus, which is passed on via bites and contact with bodily fluids. Harvard psychiatrist Steven Schoolman wrote a (fictional) medical paper on the zombies presented in Night of the Living Dead and refers to the condition as Ataxic Neurodegenerative Satiety Deficiency Syndrome caused by an infectious agent. The Zombie Survival Guide identifies the cause of zombies as a virus called solanum. Other zombie origins shown in films include radiation from a destroyed NASA Venus probe (as in Night of the Living Dead), as well as mutations of existing conditions such as prions, mad-cow disease, measles and rabies.

Where to begin? First, as to the question of where the idea that Zombies are fixated on eating brains comes from? That’s an easy question to answer. In fact, The Zombie Rights Campaign has had to answer it many, many times. People around the world commonly think that it’s a core component of all Zombie states of existence, but that is simply not so, and it didn’t even become a prominent film trope until 1985, with the release of Return of the Living Dead.

In fact, as George Romero is quick to note in interviews, his ‘Zombies’ never once eat a brain on screen. Not one time.

But more importantly, why is it so wrong to eat some brain? Assuming a particular Zombie needs to eat some grey matter to survive, how is this morally any different from a diabetic in need of insulin, or a patient in need of an organ transplant?

We don’t go around ‘double-tapping’ liver transplant recipients, now do we?

Putting that aside, we’ve also dealt with the, ahem, research of Dr. Schlozman before here at the ZRC blog. His ‘work’ on the subject of Zombies consists of circular reasoning based on fiction; he observes the traits demonstrated in ‘Night of the Living Dead’, then invents plausible causes for their behavior. This is a bit like writing a Physics textbook based on a Roadrunner cartoon.

It’s also not quite accurate that ‘Night of the Living Dead’ assigns blame to the Venus probe; that is one of a number of possible causes outlined, but Romero never assigns one as the culprit of the Global Reanimation Block Party he casts as a disaster of some sort through highly selective editing and distortion.

Moving on, the CDC blog continues:

The rise of zombies in pop culture has given credence to the idea that a zombie apocalypse could happen. In such a scenario zombies would take over entire countries, roaming city streets eating anything living that got in their way. The proliferation of this idea has led many people to wonder “How do I prepare for a zombie apocalypse?”

Again, the preferred nomenclature is ‘Global Reanimation Block Party’. ‘Global’, because the ‘Zombie Apocalypse’ is almost always depicted as extending worldwide, ‘Reanimation’ for obvious reasons, and ‘Block Party’ because you’ll miss all the fun if you hole up in your little fortified two story castle while the rest of the world has a good time outside.. much like a conventional block party. Once the permit’s been issued or the dead brought back to Unlife, you might as well find a way to enjoy yourself – the party goes on with or without you.

As for preparations, might we suggest food and beverages? Zombie diets vary from cause to cause of their Undead status, but we strongly suggest you leave the provisioning of any necessary human-derived dietary supplies to the professionals and authorities. Instead, how about some cookies and baked goods? Cold beverages rarely go amiss at any party. Streamers are also a safe bet.

The CDC blog advises the public to create an emergency kit, which is not a bad idea in general, but can’t resist putting in a dig at the Differently Animated anyway:

So what do you need to do before zombies…or hurricanes or pandemics for example, actually happen? First of all, you should have an emergency kit in your house. This includes things like water, food, and other supplies to get you through the first couple of days before you can locate a zombie-free refugee camp (or in the event of a natural disaster, it will buy you some time until you are able to make your way to an evacuation shelter or utility lines are restored). Below are a few items you should include in your kit, for a full list visit the CDC Emergency page.
Water (1 gallon per person per day)
Food (stock up on non-perishable items that you eat regularly)
Medications (this includes prescription and non-prescription meds)
Tools and Supplies (utility knife, duct tape, battery powered radio, etc.)
Sanitation and Hygiene (household bleach, soap, towels, etc.)
Clothing and Bedding (a change of clothes for each family member and blankets)
Important documents (copies of your driver’s license, passport, and birth certificate to name a few)
First Aid supplies (although you’re a goner if a zombie bites you, you can use these supplies to treat basic cuts and lacerations that you might get during a tornado or hurricane)

Emphasis ours. Now, why are you a ‘goner’? Even if you have now contracted a highly beneficial symbiotic Unlife form that will transform you into a Zombie, is that really so bad? We disapprove of involuntary Zombification here at the ZRC, but at the same time urge people, and public health authorities, to realize that being a Zombie is far from all bad. There can be considerable advantages too. For one thing, you won’t have to worry about ‘swine flu’ or whatever latest health scare the CDC is ignoring this week to pick on the Differently Animated.

Again moving on, the CDC blog continues to spread division and mistrust:

Once you’ve made your emergency kit, you should sit down with your family and come up with an emergency plan. This includes where you would go and who you would call if zombies started appearing outside your door step. You can also implement this plan if there is a flood, earthquake, or other emergency.

Identify the types of emergencies that are possible in your area. Besides a zombie apocalypse, this may include floods, tornadoes, or earthquakes. If you are unsure contact your local Red Cross chapter for more information. Family members meeting by their mailbox. You should pick two meeting places, one close to your home and one farther away

Pick a meeting place for your family to regroup in case zombies invade your home…or your town evacuates because of a hurricane. Pick one place right outside your home for sudden emergencies and one place outside of your neighborhood in case you are unable to return home right away.

Identify your emergency contacts. Make a list of local contacts like the police, fire department, and your local zombie response team. Also identify an out-of-state contact that you can call during an emergency to let the rest of your family know you are ok.

Plan your evacuation route. When zombies are hungry they won’t stop until they get food (i.e., brains), which means you need to get out of town fast! Plan where you would go and multiple routes you would take ahead of time so that the flesh eaters don’t have a chance! This is also helpful when natural disasters strike and you have to take shelter fast.

Here we have the ‘brains’ myth again, which is doubly hurtful for ignoring all the Zombies who don’t eat human brain at all, and for casting those who have a minor dietary requirement as some sort of monster, ie, ‘flesh eater’. Newsflash, CDC: most Americans eat meat, and they don’t even have to do it to survive. I don’t see you calling THEM flesh-eaters.

Them/Us, for the record. Not trying to be militantly anti-meat eating here.

Believe it or not, there’s MORE hate for the Differently Animated, who it should be noted, pay taxes to support the CDC the same as the Living population:

If zombies did start roaming the streets, CDC would conduct an investigation much like any other disease outbreak. CDC would provide technical assistance to cities, states, or international partners dealing with a zombie infestation. This assistance might include consultation, lab testing and analysis, patient management and care, tracking of contacts, and infection control (including isolation and quarantine). It’s likely that an investigation of this scenario would seek to accomplish several goals: determine the cause of the illness, the source of the infection/virus/toxin, learn how it is transmitted and how readily it is spread, how to break the cycle of transmission and thus prevent further cases, and how patients can best be treated. Not only would scientists be working to identify the cause and cure of the zombie outbreak, but CDC and other federal agencies would send medical teams and first responders to help those in affected areas (I will be volunteering the young nameless disease detectives for the field work).

Here we again have Zombiism being categorized as a disease in the proud tradition of homosexuality or, well, being Irish in much of the 19th century. ‘Break the cycle of infection’ sounds perilously close to eugenics against the Differently Animated to me, and to ‘cure’ an Undead minority population of their minority status is just outright Living Supremacist Zombie-bashing.

The final quip about the CDC higher-ups sending their younger subordinates out to deal with a real ‘crisis’ helps reveal this blog for what it really is: the craven cowardice of an entrenched member of the Anti-Zombie Establishment, fearful of change, willing to sacrifice others, but not risk personal sacrifice, to prevent the Undead Man and Woman from getting a seat at the table.

Which is, quite obviously, completely unacceptable to The Zombie Rights Campaign.

The CDC has done Undead Americans a great disservice with this posting. They have shown that they are completely indifferent, even hostile to the needs of the Differently Animated during an actual emergency situation. They have sown fear and distrust of the authorities so that Zombies in America will be unable to trust their first responders and government officials in the event of an ACTUAL emergency like a hurricane. They have lived up to every negative stereotype of the government’s panicky ineffectual response ever displayed in a Romero movie, and thus confirmed some of the worst fears of both the Living and the Unliving communities in the United States.

For shame, CDC and double shame on blog author Ali S. Khan for penning this extensive and disturbing bit of hate literature. Zombies and the Living can work together in peace and toward greater prosperity…

Standing up for better representation in the media…

Showing solidarity with public workers…

Petitioning political candidates for redress of their grievances..

Raising money for charity..

And of course, much more besides.

As a Living individual who works on behalf of the Differently Animated, I am gravely and seriously disappointed this day in my government. Treating their Undead Citizens as a joke, and implying, if not stating outright, that they will receive no help from their taxpayer funded disaster and disease management agencies is a disgrace and an affront.

The Centers for Disease Control should be ashamed of itself for this media and public relations debacle and attempt immediately to make amends. Period.

Tags: Social Justice

This entry was posted by John Sears on Friday, May 20th, 2011 at 2:15 am and is filed under ZRC News. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.