The Zombie Rights Campaign Blog

Metallica Still Makes Music Videos, Doesn’t Care for Zombies

I can’t embed it here (no doubt because they fear criticism) but Metallica apparently put out a video some time ago for a song ‘cleverly’ called ‘All Nightmare Long’ – and it’s very Anti-Zombie.

I learned this from a morning DJ who was raving about how ‘cool’ it was after playing the tune on the way back from taking the art director to her day job today. While we’re on the topic, can anyone tell me why rock stations are so fixated on Metallica? I mean they seemed cool when I was in junior high but, honestly? Dethklok kicks their butt, and Dethklok is an entirely *fictional* band.

The conceit of the song is that the phrase ‘all nightmare long’ is a really, really clever pun, so it should be repeated about fifteen times; the conceit of the video is that, in some alternate history, the Tunguska event wasn’t a meteor or asteroid, but a volcano.. .that erupted.. Zombification spores. The Soviet Union then developed these as an alternative to a nuclear deterrent and had some cockamamie plan to use them on the United States via weather balloons, or something.

Hmm.

Honestly, both the song and the music video might have some campy appeal if they were about, say, 1/4 as long. The video’s visual style recalls Attackazoids, and alternate history is often fun, even if the video is a bit too absurd to take seriously; amongst other things, the Soviet scientists Zombifiy a steak.

Yes; Zombie steak. A T-bone that bites back!

See, they’ve got me doing it too. Uggh.

At any rate, the creation of Zombies is treated by Metallica as a ghastly and unethical scientific experiment, and naturally also as a nefarious scheme to beat back the forces of capitalism (which, one presumes, would NEVER deign to create Zombies).

So now Zombies aren’t just supposedly a threat to America, they’re a threat to Capitalism, and are, in fact, tools of Communism. So says Metallica in their very ‘cool’ video, which has been up since fall of last year and has, at 115k views, about 1/5th as many as Zombie Friendly fan-film Nuka Break.

And about 1/600th as many as Pokerface.

Maybe they can get those numbers up by suing their fans again?


About The Author

The role of 'Administrator' will be played tonight by John Sears, currently serving as President of The Zombie Rights Campaign.

Comments

2 Responses to “Metallica Still Makes Music Videos, Doesn’t Care for Zombies”

  1. Geoffrey says:

    Reached your blog post through AOL. You already know I am subscribing to your rss.

  2. Monte says:

    It’s nothing to write home about.

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