At The Zombie Rights Campaign we believe in creating as broad a coalition, and being as inclusive as possible in our quest for Zombie Rights and, even more expansively, toward Undead Equality.
One of the questions we get asked most at conventions, on Twitter, via website comments or anywhere else is whether we stand for Group X, and whether Group X are, in fact, Zombies.
Some groups, like our eternal nemeses at The Zombie Research Society, attempt to create a narrow, limited categorization of ‘Zombie’, declaring that everyone who happens to fall outside the lines is something else. A demon, perhaps, but not a Zombie.
We here at the ZRC believe differently. Society isn’t nearly so choosy in how it applies unfortunate stereotypes and persecution, and thus, whether or not you fall into one strict set of Zombie guidelines, gun-toting survivalist nerds will call for, and in many tragic cases implement, your oppression regardless.
It’s that kind of world we’re seeking to change.
The ZRC believes that you are, in fact, a Zombie if you 1) have died, or been subjected to a substantially similar experience to death, and been subsequently reanimated in a profoundly transformed manner, be it by biological, chemical, or metaphysical means or 2) You would be feared, hated and/or oppressed by the likes of George Romero, Max Brooks or Bruce Campbell as a Zombie
A few hypothetical examples:
- You die but your body is then reanimated by radiation from a space probe. You are a Zombie, and we’re here to help.
- You die but are then reanimated by a chemical spill from an Army storage facility. You are a Zombie, and we’re here to help.
- You die, and/or your body is put into a death-like state by demonic possession, possibly emanating from an evil book. You are a Zombie (or Zombie-adjacent if you prefer) and we’re here to help.
- You die after hanging around with a pale, well-dressed gentleman and discover yourself reanimated with a thirst for human blood. You are *not* a Zombie, but as a Vampire, we still sympathize with your plight.
See? It’s not so complicated to be tolerant.
In that spirit of greater Zombie solidarity the ZRC has prepared our next t-shirt, emphasizing that, unlike the narrow-minded Living Supremacists at the ZRS, The Zombie Rights Campaign will fight for your rights even if your particular Undeath state was induced by evil forces beyond your control from an ancient book of black magic.
We’re just caring that way. And we *do* care about the many crimes and iniquities of one Necronomicon, the so-called ‘Book of the Dead’, which has been abusing and exploiting the Undead labor supply for centuries now.
Take the (very unpleasant) ‘Evil Dead’ movies, with the aforementioned Bruce Campbell. Sure, his character ‘Ash’ hates the book too, but whom does he take out their disagreements on? The Deadites, that’s who.
Meanwhile the Deadites get summoned into an extremely hostile work environment with no safety considerations to fight a chainsaw-wielding, shotgun-toting lunatic, and even though it’s both nighttime *and* a weekend do you hear word one about overtime pay?
Because we sure didn’t. Other questions abound: is there a travel allowance, either terrestrial (that cabin is pretty remote) or metaphysical (crossing the planes of life and death has got to be costly)? Do the deadites have workplace representation? Can they form a union? Do they get a say in haunting practices? Is there profit-sharing of any sort? Bonuses? Paid vacation?
The ZRC suspects not, and that gets to our fundamental point, and the subject of our new shirt. Don’t blame the Deadites, or any other type of necromantically/metaphysically/demonically animated Undead. Blame the necromancer, black sorcerer or Evil Book of the Dead that creates the hostile work environment in the first place!
To get that point across, we made a shirt:
So the ZRC asks you to keep all that in mind, and please consider the plight of the overworked, underpaid and underappreciated (especially by jerks like the ZRS) Demonic Zombies. They have a hard enough Unlife without the abuses of their predatory, compulsory employer/taskmaster, who I think we can all agree is the real villain here.
And now you can own a shirt to share that message with the world! Printed as usual by Kurt Brunetto on a high-quality, comfortable American Apparel t-shirt, available in sizes from XS all the way to XXXL and on sale first *exclusively* at our Horrorhound booth starting this Friday.
Don’t buy it for me. Buy it for the Demonic Zombies.