Posted By John Sears on February 9, 2011

This 5 Second Film entitled ‘Brains!!!’ probably sets a new record for shortest film about Zombies (taking it from Rise of the Living Corpse with like 35 seconds to spare).

But is it Zombie Friendly? Well… no, not as such. It puts a humorous spin on the concept of Zombies demanding ‘Braaaains’; here they’re less a mob of post-human eating machines and more, I dunno, demanding customers at a restaurant, or guests at a party, or some such.

In the end you still have a mob of Zombies, splattered with blood, demanding brains. It just pushes too many sensitive buttons.

Therefore we at the ZRC unfortunately have to give it an Anti-Zombie rating.

Category: Zombie Media | No Comments »
Tags: Movies, ZRC Reviews

Posted By John Sears on February 9, 2011

Jenny the ZRC Art and Technical Director has a way of finding internet oddities, and so she pointed me to this website hosting one very old (and very, very Stupid) comic from Captain America’s days as a World War II propagandist/Timely Comics superhero.

In this story, ‘The Case of the Hollow Men’, Cap finds himself guarding lend-lease shipments at the docks in his civilian persona only for said docks to be approached by a group of Zombie Americans, who he then orders US soldiers to open fire upon:

(Captain America: War Criminal?)

This massacre doesn’t work as well as he’d expected, so Captain America puts on his superhero tights and decides to use his fists to vent his frustration at being, well, wholly inadequate either as a soldier or as a superhero:

(Captain America: Super-sadist)

Unfortunately, these depraved actions lead to a open hostilities with the Zombie Community, who I think we can all agree had legitimate grievances with the costumed vigilante wearing America’s colors. These particular Zombies were themselves completely blameless victims, being controlled by a sinister technologically powered Necromancer/goofball in a cloak who styled himself as ‘The Lord of Death’:

When his fists once again prove inadequate, Captain America resorts to the reckless use of high explosives in the heart of civilian territory, and his carelessness leads to the massive destruction of public property and loss of life and Unlife alike:

(Oh the humanity…)

After this, no doubt in a rush to avoid blame for the catastrophe, Captain America and Bucky finally decide to track down the necromancer responsible, who naturally turns out to be working for Hitler. Directly.

(Man, Hitler was a busy guy in World War II.)

Not to be overly pedantic here, but this particular comic was found in a Timely Comics anthology called ‘All Winners Comics #1″ which was apparently published in Summer 1941, months before the United States would enter World War II in the wake of Pearl Harbor.

So Captain America is about as careful with his international relations as he is about throwing bombs around on bridges. Nice job respecting the chain of command, civilian governance and the Constitution there, Cap. Any other admittedly evil world leaders you’d like to poke with a stick? No need to clear it with the State Department or the President.

In the course of one short comic we are thus exposed to the disturbing truths of Captain America’s seedy origin. Rather than being the exemplar of American righteousness he is a symbol of our reckless self-regard and callous violence, mowing down civilians because of the color of their skin, picking fights he can’t win and then resolving conflict with extreme and gratuitous violence, only pausing to try and start yet war unilaterally in an attempt to preempt our democratically-elected and civilian led government in favor of some sort of crude, lawless military dictatorship. With snazzy uniforms.

Did Captain America really hate Hitler, or simply envy him for getting an early start on the brutal abuse of power? This really puts their rivalry in an all-new light, doesn’t it?

Category: Zombie Media | No Comments »
Tags: Comics, Social Justice

Posted By John Sears on February 8, 2011

Just a short post as once again, we find people using the word ‘Zombie’ to describe something they disapprove of being unusually resilient or durable:

Is it Halloween already? Intel (Nasdaq: INTC) is bringing a discontinued chipset back from the grave, zombie-style.

Citing “specific requests from computer makers” after “extensive discussions” on the topic, the chip giant has agreed to ship out support chips for the recently launched and even more recently recalled chipsets for its Sandy Bridge processor series. Not willy-nilly, of course — the buggy chips will only be shipped to system builders who promise to use ‘em only in configurations not affected by the bug. Otherwise, you’ll have to wait a couple of weeks for a corrected version to start shipping.

Basically, Intel made some chips with an SATA controller that has flaws that only creep up when using older, slower ports and not the newest ones. So while the chipsets are still defective, they can be safely used if you only use them to control a couple of newer SATA drives, and Intel is willing to sell them on that basis, provided you promise not to use them in a way that would activate the defect (and get them more bad press).

This doesn’t have any ‘Zombie’ angle to it at all; it’s just a minor technical recall being hashed out between a chip supplier and its clients. The chips were never alive, and didn’t come back from the dead; they were put on a shelf and then taken off the shelf again. Big whoop.

Well, unless you have an Anti-Zombie axe to grind, of course.

Category: Zombie Media | No Comments »
Tags: Don't Use the Zed Word, Journamalism

Posted By John Sears on February 8, 2011

I try to cut slack for people who earnestly try to parody or critique the flagship titles of Anti-Zombie media, your Night of the Living Deads or, in this case, your Walking Deads, what have you. But still, sometimes a parody continues to advance Anti-Zombie, even Living Supremacist views (think Shaun of the Dead) and you have to call them out: being funny isn’t the same as being right.

And so we come to this Gingerbread take on The Walking Dead, on a t-shirt.

First off, yes, it obviously helps to illustrate the essential silliness of the Zombie Apocalypse by rendering it in pastry. But still, the tableau seen here reinforces more than it subverts the essential fearmongering and dislike of the Zombie Community. We see ‘Zombie’ Gingerbread men attacking their… Living?… fellow citizens, and a symbol of Gingerbread authority using violence against them, while he slowly succumbs to the… Infection?… himself.

Can cookies die? Can they live, for that matter? Is this getting too philosophical for a t-shirt review?

In the end, this is less a social critique, a satire if you will, then simply a joking form of the Zombie Apocalypse that helps to reinforce the very stereotypes that it’s lightly mocking here. Why must, even in Gingerbread people, the advent of a few Zombie fellows lead to carnage and madness?

Why indeed.

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Tags: Anti-Zombie Products

Posted By John Sears on February 8, 2011

BuyZombie, one of the ZRC’s most reliable news sources (though we disagree on many topics about Zombies themselves), is hosting a contest where you can win a signed copy of a new Zombie book by Chicago author Scott Kenemore:

The always wonderful fellow Chicago based author Scott Kenemore has taken a break from his busy schedule of working with the undead (and being blizzard season digging a path through snow out of his zombie fortified compound) to send us over not 1, not 2, not even 3, but *5* Autographed copies of his recently released Zombie Ohio. That’s a lie, he actually sent over 6 but you will have to fight me to the death for that last copy. That being the case the other 5 are up for grabs! What a lucky day for fellow Scott Kenemore fans, am I right?

The book in question? I can’t evaluate its Zombie Friendliness from the blurb, which itself is a pleasant rarity:

When rural Ohio college professor Peter Mellor dies in an automobile accident during a zombie outbreak, he is reborn as
a highly intelligent (yet somewhat amnesiac) member of the living dead. With society crumbling around him and violence escalating into daily life, Peter quickly learns that being a zombie isn’t all fun and brains. Humans—unsympathetic, generally, to his new proclivities—try to kill him at nearly every opportunity. His old friends are loath to associate with him. And he finds himself inconveniently addicted to the gooey stuff inside of people’s heads.

As if all this weren’t bad enough, Peter soon learns that his automobile accident was no accident at all. Faced with the harrowing mystery of his death, Peter resolves to use his strange zombie “afterlife” to solve his own murder.

Skillfully combining the genres of horror, humor, and film noir,

Zombie, Ohio weaves an enthralling and innovative tale that any fan of the current zombie craze is sure to relish. Followers of detective and horror fiction alike will find something to love about Zombie, Ohio—a tale of murder, mystery, and the walking dead.

I’ve seen this ‘addiction’ angle before, and it can be handled intelligently and sympathetically, though I’d always point out that not all Zombies have any need for human flesh, so let’s not be overly broad here, all right?

‘George’s Intervention’ did a pretty solid job with a premise along those lines; on the other hand, ‘Breathers’ botched it badly. (Plus the ending was super weak in ‘Breathers’)

We entered the contest, as the ZRC can always use more review material. Feel free to compete with us and sign up yourselves, Zombie Rights Enthusiasts.

Category: Zombie Media | No Comments »
Tags: Books

Posted By John Sears on February 8, 2011

In the process of writing the belated birthday greeting the ZRC gave Creepshow maestro and, err, Father of the Modern Anti-Zombie Film George Romero, google yielded an interview from last year with Vanity Fair that I missed, and there’s some fascinating, and disturbing, stuff in there:

Eric Spitznagel: To paraphrase Freud, sometimes things have symbolism and sometimes a cigar is just a cigar. Are the zombies in your movies always a metaphor, or are they sometimes just bloodthirsty walking corpses?

George Romero: To me, the zombies have always just been zombies. They’ve always been a cigar. When I first made Night of the Living Dead, it got analyzed and overanalyzed way out of proportion. The zombies were written about as if they represented Nixon’s Silent Majority or whatever. But I never thought about it that way. My stories are about humans and how they react, or fail to react, or react stupidly. I’m pointing the finger at us, not at the zombies. I try to respect and sympathize with the zombies as much as possible. (Laughs.)

You really do. Sympathizing with zombies is a big theme of Survival of the Dead.

These characters are questioning whether we should be so quick to dispose of zombies. Because what if you shoot Grandma in the head and next week there’s a cure for zombism? (Laughs.) I guess that’s the Catholic in me.

It’s this dualism that we find so disturbing, and unsettling, here at the ZRC. Mr. Romero claims he sympathizes with Zombies, but he holds so many negative stereotypes of them! How far can that sympathy really go?

Romero discussed the ‘Braaaaains’ thing too:

brains. What is it about being undead that makes somebody so ravenous?

First of all, why does everybody say that zombies eat brains?

Because… it’s true?

I’ve never had a zombie eat a brain! I don’t know where that comes from. Who says zombies eat brains?

I remember brains being a big zombie menu item in Return of the Living Dead back in the mid-80s, but I’m not sure if that’s where it started.

Whenever I sign autographs, they always ask me, “Write ‘Eat Brains’!” I don’t understand what that means. I’ve never had a zombie eat a brain. But it’s become this landmark thing.

It’s always worth noting that the ‘Braaaaaains’ thing is from Return of the Living Dead, which came out in 1985; before that? This meme did not exist. At all.

Then there’s what Mr. Romero had to say about ‘fast’ Zombies, and whether they relate to cutting-edge, modern, hyper-trendy concerns like some overwrought academics have stated (*cough*Jeffrey Mantz*cough*):

Your zombies have always walked with a meandering shuffle, but modern zombies seem to be becoming more aerobic. Why is that?

I think it’s video games, man. Zombies are always moving fast in video games. It makes sense if you think about it. Those games are all about hand-eye coordination and how quickly can you get them before they get you. So the zombies have to keep coming at you, crawling over the walls and across the ceiling. Zombies are perfect for a first-person shooter game, because they exist to be damaged.

You don’t think it has anything to do with our fast-paced society? If a zombie doesn’t keep up, he’s going to be replaced by a computer.

No, no, it’s just the influence of video games. I don’t think there’s anything deeper to it than that. Filmmakers saw what was happening in video games and started thinking, “Well, we’ve got to keep pace and make our zombies fast too.” I still don’t agree with it. If zombies are dead, how can they move fast? My guys don’t run. They never have and they never will. They’re just lumbering oafs that are easy to dispose of unless you make a mistake. Those are the rules, and I’ll stick with what I’ve got.

This is a very insightful outsider perspective on videogames, actually; Romero judges them by their impact on film, but as someone who has been playing games for decades now (god I’m old), it’s absolutely true. The kinetic-aspect of games, and the first person shooter in particular, has been cranking up higher and higher over time. Doom was stodgy and incredibly slowwwwww compared to, say, Bulletstorm; and have any of you out there tried Wolfenstein, the *original* Wolfenstein, as an adult revisiting the game? It’s amazing; there’s a ton of tension in just being unable to turn around.

Romero also dished on Max Brooks, who is jockeying hard for ZRC Public Enemy #2 slot:

You don’t think civilization is going to be destroyed someday by an army of the undead?

Max Brooks wrote this great book called The Zombie Survival Guide, and it’s good fun. But I think Max in the back of his mind thinks it could possibly happen. He does these lectures and he brings all these weapons onstage and explains the best way to kill a zombie. I keep saying to him, “Max, none of this is real! It’s not gonna happen! Believe me, it’s not gonna happen!” (Laughs.) But maybe he’s right and I’m wrong and I’ll get hoisted on my own petard.

Poor Max Brooks. I suppose he can be comforted by sleeping on his sacks of lucre, but it must be hard living such a paranoid life, afraid of every Zombie around every corner.

Tragic.

Finally, this bit will be visiting me in my nightmares again and again:

There’ve been a lot of successful Broadway musicals based on movies. Have you ever been tempted to make Night of the Living Dead: the Musical?

Well, I’m not tempted. But it looks like it could happen. There are some people who’ve been nibbling around the idea. Me and the rest of the people involved in the original Night of the Living Dead—there were 28 of us who made the movie, and 26 of us are still alive—we just got pitched by somebody who wants to do a Broadway version. They put on a big presentation for us. Most of the music has already been written and it’s pretty good. I don’t know if it’s going to happen, but we’ll see. I have no problem with somebody doing it, I just don’t want to be involved. (Laughs.)

I literally cannot imagine that on stage. The original movie takes place in almost real time, over what, a couple of hours? What are the songs going to be about? Boarding up windows? Finding the gas pump key?

Anyway, go read the whole interview for some really useful, and disturbing, insights from the mind of the single most influential Anti-Zombie filmmaker of all time.

Category: Zombie Media | 1 Comment »
Tags: Books, Journamalism, Mainstream Media, Movies, Romero

Posted By John Sears on February 8, 2011

Here’s a little Zombie Friendly event that you can attend with any special person of your particular choice, or just by yourself, in Chicago this weekend:

Kitty Zombie has decided to have another Valentines Day Party! The first one was an amazing event, this one is even better! Come dressed in your best, bloody attire! Zombies? Dead Star? Murdered Pin up? YES! We want to see it all!

Saturday, February 12 at 10:00pm – February 13 at 5:00am

Neo
2350 North Clark
Chicago, IL

Kitty Zombie, a Zombie icon in the Windy City, will naturally be there. I’m *trying* to convince the Art Director to consider attending, but she has this whole Valentine’s Day boycott going on. She says, with some conviction, that Equality in this case means that, just as she would boycott a Living-hosted V-Day event, she has to avoid this one.

Sigh. We’ll see. But in the meantime, you Chicagoans have your vital information, brought to you via Horror Society and your loyal Zombie Advocates here at the ZRC.

Category: ZRC News | No Comments »
Tags: Horror Society, Zombie Event

Posted By John Sears on February 7, 2011

Sometimes I’ll admit to a bit of schadenfreude here at the ZRC, when an Anti-Zombie project crashes and burns spectacularly:

A car combat and zombie game developed by Wellington firm Sidhe has failed to reach New Zealand stores after its publisher decided it would not be popular enough in Australia.

Sidhe developed Blood Drive, for the PlayStation 3 and Xbox 360, for major United States publisher Activision last year. It had 50 staff working on the project at its peak.

Activision had announced the game would be distributed worldwide, but public relations manager Natasha Brack said it decided Blood Drive would not attract enough consumer support in Australia to justify a release, making a New Zealand release “difficult”.

Publishers typically release games in both countries, or not at all.

….

Sales so far had been lacklustre, but he was yet to see figures from the Christmas period, which is traditionally a good time for game sales.

“It didn’t get much of a marketing push, which was obviously a little disappointing for us. Without a marketing push, it’s really hard for an original game to get traction.”

Activision usually published licensed titles, which did not need as much marketing.

“We’ve given them our thoughts about the process and they’ll assess whether their marketing was sufficient or not.”

Hmm, yes, marketing was the issue, and not, say, the game’s hilariously incomplete status when sold to customers:

Yes. The sole purpose of Blood Drive is to smash zombies. Unfortunately, that’s all it does and it doesn’t even do that very well.

Wait, a bland zombie game? How did anyone whiff in the game genre equivalent of the tee-ball league? To be fair, Blood Drive provides the occasional glimpse of what could have been. But as it stands, the game is incomplete — mind-numbingly incomplete. It’s as if a gentle, loving hand crafted the game halfway, then the art teacher walked by, snatched it up and said, “Sorry students, we’re all out of time.”

…

Does [VIDEO GAME] have a save option?

No.

The only way to save in Blood Drive is the auto-save, which initiates only after completing a cup. Not so bad for the first cup. It’s 4 events long. About 4 minutes per event, that’s 16 minutes of gameplay plus load times to the nearest save point.

But the final three cups comprise 14 events, 14 events and a whopping 30 events, respectively. 30 events at 4 minutes per event, you’re looking at 2 hours. Plus load times. If you can stomach it, the bonus Hardcore Cup is another 30 events.

*snicker* Hahahahaha… oh man. That is just.. *amazingly* stupid.

I really shouldn’t do this, but just out of pity if nothing else, here’s an Amazon link to where, for now, you can still buy this aborted half-game:

Category: Zombie Media | No Comments »
Tags: Videogames

Posted By John Sears on February 7, 2011

Machinima is the practice of using the increasingly powerful and versatile 3D engines used to power modern computer and videogames to produce movies or other film-like works. It was only a matter of time, given the number of such games that feature Anti-Zombie violence, until someone put two and two together and came up with the idea of making their Anti-Undead feature in virtual space:

A new indie zombie project entitled Mary Doe, the first entry in a planned trilogy, is officially on the horizon from filmmaker Nick Nicolaou, and the project has piqued our interest due to its unique approach of using the Left 4 Dead video game engine to create a zombie-filled landscape in which to tell its tale.

…

A twelve-day trek across the desert and the insignificant form that is Mary Doe has exhausted all life within her. Rescued from death’s door, she finds herself abandoned with five men in a decommissioned government facility used for testing biological weapons.

Lost with no memory of who she is and no placement in this world, she finds no reason to want to win her freedom – to journey BACK FROM THE DEAD…

Isolation breeds paranoia – no one can hide from their demons forever. As Mary unravels her past, the world she has fallen into crumbles down around her. The MUTANTS have found their way into the bunker. She has to gather her strength and find a reason to want to live – to want to get out of this HOLE IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE.

Mary Doe is a horror/thriller in the vein of films such as Alien, The Thing, Dawn of the Dead and Terminator.

Murder, Deception, Justice… A classic noir femme fatale story set in the world of the BANISHED and the UNDEAD!

Yes, that’s just what we need, more synergy between Anti-Zombie movies and Anti-Zombie games.

Though to be fair, it couldn’t *possibly* be worse than RE: Afterlife. Uggh.

Category: Zombie Media | No Comments »
Tags: Movies, Videogames

Posted By John Sears on February 7, 2011

A webcomic by the name of “Treading Ground” has come out with a new shirt featuring the logo of a fictional Undead rock band, and I have to say, it’s kind of awesome. Here’s the description:

Man, I saw these guys one time. Best show of my life. You haven’t lived until you’ve seen a chick play the xylophone on her exposed ribcage. They don’t play during the day because the vampire bassist would disintegrate in the sunlight. But that zombie babe they have on lead guitar, WOW. And so what if things occasionally fall off when she flashes the crowd? Great souvenirs, I say!

Doesn’t that just sound wonderfully Zombie Friendly? Not only that, but it’s promoting Undead Solidarity too! I wonder if they have a Mummy on drums?

The ZRC can totally get behind this concept, and I may pick one of these shirts up for myself in the near future.

Category: Zombie Media | No Comments »
Tags: Zombie Art, Zombie Products