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Zombies and Knitting

Posted By on January 12, 2011

Google pointed me toward an article supposedly about the nexus of Zombies and knitting recently, and sadly, it wasn’t about a circle of Zombies who knitted scarves for orphans as a hobby, or what not. Instead it’s about a sort of club/get-together for people who like to knit, named in part after Zombieland, the odious ‘horror-comedy’ film whose star we recently upstaged with our support for the 1 Second Film.

Take that, Mr. Harrelson.

At any rate, in spite of their relative enthusiasm for one of the worst and most evil movies of our age, there’s not a whole lot to get hung up about with these ‘Zombie Prom Date Knitters’. They seem peaceable enough and even donate some of their knit(ted?) projects to charity:

The group also does a lot of charity knitting, and has adopted a stretch along Interstate 94, near Augusta, through the Michigan Department of Transportation.

So they’re harmless enough. Perhaps with a bit of outreach they could be persuaded to forswear the violent comedic hijinks of Zombieland in favor of knitting Zombies some warm mittens. Cold weather can be hard on Zombies, after all.

What really gets me is the Anti-Zombie tone the ‘journalist’ who wrote the piece crudely applies to the overall peaceful narrative. Stuff like this opening line, for example:

EAST LEROY — Knitters today may ponder a question their grandmothers never did: Do I use this needle to knit or to kill a zombie?

Where does that come from, anyway? The Zombie Prom Date Knitters don’t kill Zombies, at least if this article is any indication. At worst they watch Anti-Zombie movies for fun, and while we don’t approve of that, it’s far better than crude Living Supremacist pogroms in the street.

I guess for some people it just isn’t a story about Zombies unless it’s got deplorable mayhem in it somewhere, eh, Andy Fitzpatrick?

The ZRC can give a pass to these yarn enthusiasts, but Mr. Fitzpatrick? I think we can officially condemn him.

Grotesque, Disturbing ‘Stationary’ Depicts Anti-Zombie Violence

Posted By on January 12, 2011

Over at oh yeah, paper! a post recently went up depicting a bold new frontier in hating on Zombies: stationary.

Seriously.
Just look at this ghastly stuff.

Gory and disturbing. Look at the way the envelope has been deviously constructed so that you have to maim the paper Zombie to open it, or the placement of the three ring binder holes. Someone put some serious thought into those projects.

Someone deeply disturbed.

I guess I need to add ‘Zombie Friendly Stationary’ to the ZRC’s list of proposed projects now. Geez. It’s hard work keeping up with these Anti-Zombie individuals!

ZRC Reviews First Episode of ‘Kore wa Zombie Desu ka?’

Posted By on January 11, 2011

We first heard about this new anime series some time ago, at which point I was fairly skeptical we’d see it in America anytime soon. I mean, most stuff that comes out of Japan relating to Zombies is drenched in gore and defamation, so would there be much demand for a potentially Zombie Friendly, and very bizarre, tv show to be brought over, especially given the economic woes in the anime market?

Thus when it was announced that the series would be brought over in nearly real time for legal streaming service Crunchyroll, I started to get excited. Could Japan do a Zombie-friendly anime series, and would it be a success?

We have a tentative answer to the first question anyway: Yes. Yes it can.

shot3
(The series logo)

‘Kore wa Zombie Desu ka?’ opens with slightly sullen high schooler Ayumu Aikawa narrating somewhat pretentiously about how his daily life is an illusion and the peaceful existence of everyone around him is a falsehood covering deeper secrets. On the way home from school, he sees a pair of cats crossing the road only for the smaller of the two to stumble and get caught in the path of an oncoming semi. Ayumu jumps in front of the semi without hesitating, grabs the cat, and then, just before the impact seals his grisly fate, turns to the camera and reassures the audience by saying:

shot2

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(Yes, the ZOMBIE is the protagonist, thanks very much. Take that, Highschool of the Dead)

This largely sets the tone for the show, and for that matter, the episode’s treatment of the Zombie condition. Ayumu’s a Zombie; he died at the hands of a serial killer, but that’s all right, because a necromancer, for reasons unexplained as yet, brought him back.

Possibly just so she can freeload at his home.

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(Yes, she actually wears that around the house)

Ayumu spends his days getting on with his ordinary life, and his nights wandering the streets hoping to find his murderer. He’s adjusting very well to his new Zombie status, though there are a few quirks; Zombies like him, it seems, don’t tolerate the hot sun very well (it dessicates them). He also feels drawn to graveyards, which naturally put him at ease, perhaps simply for reasons of cultural expectations.

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(I guess graveyards are peaceful)

It is on one of these Zombie of Justice nightly patrols that he meets a Magical Girl (literally) named Haruna, who wields a neon pink magical chainsaw and uses it to brutally dismember monsters. In the course of fighting one such monster poor Ayumu gets mutilated and cut in half, which only proves a minor inconvenience:

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(Being a Zombie certainly isn’t an easy thing)

Though it also looks pretty painful.

After the fight Haruna ends up entangled with Ayumu’s newly Undead existence after he accidentally steals her powers, making him both a magical girl AND a Zombie. You’ve got to see how the episode ends, it’s too funny to spoil here with a screenshot.

So how does ‘Kore wa Zombie Desu ka?’ fare in terms of Zombie Rights? Very well. In fact, astonishingly well, all things considered.

Yes, there’s considerable violence in the first episode, often directed at our Zombie protagonist. The thing is, however, he voluntarily leaps into action in many instances, suffering largely temporary (if comically horrific) injuries in the name of helping others, rescuing pets, or just being an overall Nice Guy. Ayumu may be a Zombie, but he doesn’t shamble around eating brains, or haunt some ancient castle looking for vengeance on society at large. He was revived by a Necromancer, but she seems all right, if somewhat bossy, and she’s helping him to adjust to his new existence in her own way. Even the (possibly self-designated) police force of the magical world, here represented by a pink-loving psychotic with mystic chainsaw, seems to bear no grudge against the Differently Animated.

If the first episode is any indication the show aims to be a parody of as many different sorts of anime as humanly possible, and while it’s at it, stereotypes about Zombies as well. Ayumu’s problem with moisture and heat calls back to Mr. Slant from Discworld; his relationship with Hellscythe reminds me of Princess Resurrection; the series openly mocks ‘Magical girl’ series like Sailor Moon or its modern equivalents, first and foremost by explicltly using the term (mahou shoujo) as a title, but also by having the combat between pretty girls and vicious monsters devolve into gore and madness. Constantly.

On the whole ‘Kore wa..’ presents being a Zombie as having serious perks, as well as posing some social difficulties with interacting with Living friends and Living people at large (watch for a reference to the popularity of Anti-Zombie videogames, it’s so fast you might miss it). Zombies, here, are the same people they were while alive, but given the chance to realize their full potential, which can amount to near-superheroism in the case of a genuinely good person like the protagonist.

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(With great Zombie Power comes Great Zombie Responsibility)

The Zombie Rights Campaign is on the whole extremely pleased with the one episode of this series available to date, and looks forward eagerly to watching more. ‘Kore wa Zombie Desu ka?’s first episode is currently available now on Crunchyroll for subscribers (here’s the series’ page) and will be unembargoed shortly for free viewing.

We heartily recommend it, and have awarded it a tentative ‘Zombie Friendly’ rating, pending the review of additional episodes of course.

Zombie Friendly anime? Refreshing!

(Our screenshot album for this review, with a couple more shots, is available here)

Stretching to Fix the Facts Around the Bigotry

Posted By on January 11, 2011

As a handy short example of how lately the mainstream media is desperate to shoehorn Anti-Zombiism into every story they possibly can, look no further than this:

It’s a dilemma of the computer age: you’re on a zombie killing spree in the virtual world while in the real one your beer mug has run dry? What to do? Do you really have to pause the action to hunt down another beer? Not anymore. At a consumer electronics convention in Las Vegas this week, electronics firm Nvidia unveiled the so-called KEGputer. Yep, it’s a beer keg and a computer rolled into one.

Here you have a harmless article about a whimsical computer modification; there’s nothing specifically Zombie-like, Zombie Friendly or even Anti-Zombie about the modification itself.

Given that, why did Tammy Tuck feel the need to drag the horrible spectre of Anti-Zombie violence into the column? Why is THAT the first thing she thinks of when talking about computer gaming, which is noticeably *less* Anti-Zombie than the world of console videogaming?*

Why indeed. Once again, the fixation of an apparently Anti-Zombie media figure says far more about them than the subjects, the Zombies, that they cruelly mistreat in their approach to ‘journalism’.

*It’s worth noting that computer gaming is dominated by games like World of Warcraft, whose most recent expansion broke the all time daily and monthly sales records for PC games. World of Warcraft also features the Undead as characters, not just foes or plot devices, including an entire race of largely sympathetic Differently Animated individuals that can be chosen as player characters.

Hunting Zombie Ducks on the iPhone

Posted By on January 10, 2011

This just seems superfluously insulting to me:

Zombie Duck Hunt, developed by 2010 W3 Innovations, LLC, is now available from the App Store and has made Apple’s Top 300 iPad/iPod applications list. The app was last released on May 05, 2010 and sells for Free.

The application developer’s description of the application is, “Zombie Duck is the #1 FREE ZOMBIE APP! What flies south in the winter and quacks “cruummbbbssss”? Zombie Ducks! And they’re invading your iPhone and iPod Touch! Only you can stop them, so it’s time to go on a Zombie Duck Hunt.

..

Don’t wait; pick up your trusty gun and make these zombies wish they were dead. Again. Otherwise, it’s breadcrumbs today, your brains tomorrow.

First, naturally, we get the brain-eating stereotype. How exactly are ducks, Zombie or not, supposed to eat brains? They don’t have TEETH! Actually, it seems that all modern birds lack teeth. Beaks = no teeth.

So what, are the ducks going to patiently peck you to death, and gnaw, softly, to get to your delicious grey matter?

Pfft. Hardly that menacing.

Second you’ll note that they’re literally GIVING this offensive and bizarrely unscientific title away for free, no doubt as part of some sinister plan to get people hooked on killing Zombies of any stripe. (The first hit’s free, as they say).

Sure, you start out just killing a few Zombie birds, who as mentioned above are obviously harmless. Then you get the itch and you move on, maybe play a couple rounds of Resident Evil, I mean, your cousin does it and he’s all right.

Next thing you know you’ve completed a 36 hour gaming marathon with Dead Rising 2 and 3 cases of Jolt, suffering semi-permanent damage to your bladder as a result.

The horror, the horror…

Be forewarned, America: the Anti-Zombie videogaming gateway drug is here, and its name is Zombie Duck Hunt.

One Hand in the Grave Boots Spread Harmful Stereotypes

Posted By on January 10, 2011

Check out these Zombie Boots they highlighted over at Horror Society and get back to us.

Ready? Good.

Ok, one of the most harmful myths about Zombies has to be that they make graveyards and cemeteries inherently dangerous, because if you venture into one (most likely at the start of a ‘Zombie Apocalypse’), you will be accosted and, most likely, eaten by ravenous Zombies.

Thus when you see this harmful and quite frankly paranoid delusion depicted in boot-form, it gives a Zombie Rights activist pause. Can’t we get more Zombie Friendly footwear? Does any footwear with Zombies on it have to reference outmoded prejudices?

One wonders, doesn’t one.

It’d be a much better day for Zombie Rights if we could skip the prejudice and just celebrate how cool Zombies are with open-minds and stylish boots.

Upcoming Resident Evil Pushes Anti-Zombie Gaming Into Third Dimension

Posted By on January 10, 2011

Having assaulted your eyes, ears, and sanity in 3D with the odious and incomprehensibly stupid Resident Evil: Afterlife, Capcom is forging ahead with pushing their flagship Anti-Zombie game franchise into 3D on the new handheld, the 3DS:

The horror is back in Resident Evil! That’s our impression after a going few sessions with 3DS’s Resident Evil Revelations at the Nintendo World demo event in Chiba earlier today.

The Nintendo World demo, the first time Revelations has gone playable, gave players control of Jill Valentine on the ship that serves as the game’s central setting. In our two play sessions, we lead Jill through the corridors of the devastated ship and took out a few attacking zombies along the way.

With atmospheric sounds, and lots of shock scenes, it looks like Resident Evil Revelations could deliver true scares! Those scares will come at the visual quality we’ve come to expect from the series’ latest HD installments. Revelations is a showpiece title for the 3DS in terms of visual fidelity. It also has a nice, clear 3D effect, making it look like you’re looking into a virtual 3D world. The MT Framework (which powers both this and Street Fighter IV 3D Edition) appears to have another success story on its hands.

Let me get this straight: not only is cutting-edge technology powering this particular assault on the Differently Animated, but now, in their never-ending search for new and terrifying ways to attack Zombies, Capcom is having its characters engage in piracy on the high seas?

I guess the thought that Zombies might find some safe haven in international waters, even in fiction, was too much for the gore-mongers developing this… videogame.

Apparently the title is only about 20% finished, so it will be some time before anyone gets to purchase the blasted thing. We’ll keep you apprised as news becomes available.

Anti-Zombie Comic Pushes for Segregated Flights

Posted By on January 9, 2011

I can’t think of any other plausible reason behind this “Flight of the Living Dead” comic, which pushes the idea that good, peaceful, respectable Living people can’t be forced into close proximity with Zombies for fear they’ll be attacked and converted.

Doesn’t this remind anyone else of the controversy over Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell, and the fixation on sharing shower facilities?

Zombies are people too, yet here we have a cartoonist openly agitating for them to be banned from flights in the name of safety.

Appalling.

The Mist Came to Madison

Posted By on January 9, 2011

Well, ok, not really. This post is mostly just silly self-indulgence; a week ago I was taking the art director to her day job and it was very foggy because the temperature had shot up to 45 degrees while we had a couple of feet of snow on the ground. This has happened a few times since we moved up here; the hills then trap the fog so it gets really nice and spooky.

Anyway, I had her take the digital camera and shoot some video as we approached the large buildings of her employer. Normally you’d be able to see them, easily, from the time we make the first turn in the video, but that super-dense, Stephen King worthy fog cut the whole world off after a couple hundred yards.

Anyway, I’ll have some more Zombie Rights related news here in a bit.

Shortbread Zombie Dinosaurs

Posted By on January 9, 2011

Only partially inspired by the ongoing dialogue we’re having over here about the prospects of a Zombie Dinosaur comic, tonight I baked some Shortbread cookies in the shape of Zombie Dinosaurs and a couple of Zombiebread Men.

Ok, so the only cookie-cutter like objects I had around the house were for making dinosaur sandwiches. Your point?

These are awesome.

IMG_1333
(The cookies hot out of the oven)

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(A Shortbread Zombie)

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(A Shortbread Zombie Dinosaur)

If the media was to be believed, we here in the ZRC compound might surely be doomed, what with Zombie Dinosaurs running amok.

Somehow I think we’ll get along just fine.