Posted By John Sears on July 26, 2011

‘Mars Needs Moms’ was a beloved children’s book that was adapted into a spectacularly poorly received animated film, released earlier this year in March. You may not have heard of the movie, and odds are you certainly did not see it; no one at the ZRC has either, although our Cultural Historian Andrew Leal was well-aware of the movie in his other professional capacity and was able to provide extensive background on the movie for this post (thanks Andrew!)

I’ve actually read the original book by Berkeley Breathed and I have to say, ‘Who thought this would be a good idea for a children’s book?’. Essentially a guilt trip masked as a parable (which, to be fair, is a classic fairy tale trope), ‘Mars Needs Moms’ suggests the karmic punishment for typical and natural momentary lapses in appreciation of a child for their parent could be their gruesome death by asphyxiation on an alien world.

Really. Read it for yourself sometime.

The movie retained at least some of that premise but ditched the art style for Robert Zemeckis’ creepier-than-it-was-meant-to-be motion capture animation. What can I say, it worked in ‘Beowulf’. (My favorite of his motion-capture films, ‘Monster House’, used a more traditional ‘cartoonish’ look.) The combination of creepy plastic people and a story about parent abduction apparently turned people off, and the movie, which cost 150 million dollars to make, eventually lost $111 million or so.

This has been a rather large amount of backstory without Zombies, hasn’t it? Well, ok. Here’s the relevance for the ZRC: a certain someone amongst our legion of Twitter followers actually *had* seen this film, and informed us that it contained some rather severely Anti-Zombie dialogue, and that further, a clip of this was available on Youtube. In effect, Disney was showcasing hate speech in a childrens’ movie… hate speech against the Differently Animated.

I was shocked; Disney was doing this? The same Disney that released ‘Nightmare Before Christmas’, a movie populated by friendly and sympathetic Undead characters?

Well, yes. Yes they did:

‘Mom, nobody LIKES Zombies, they’re an abomination. I’m committed to their annihilation!’

Yes, this is an actual line from an actual film marketed at children. Mercifully few saw it, but still, this is plainly an outrage. I’m beginning to wonder if Disney has decided to embrace an openly Anti-Zombie position. It would add new intrigue to their decision to acquire prominent Anti-Zombie comic book publisher Marvel, now wouldn’t it?

There’s something I’ll have to look into..

In the meantime based on our reader report and this first hand evidence the ZRC can award ‘Mars Needs Moms’ a provisional Living Supremacist rating for glorifying the desire to destroy an entire population based merely on its Vitality status.

Genocidal hate has no place in a children’s film. For shame.

Category: Zombie Media | No Comments »
Tags: Books, Comics, Mainstream Media, Movies, ZRC Reviews

Posted By John Sears on July 26, 2011

We weren’t fans of ‘Zombieland’ here at the ZRC for fairly obvious reasons: it was (and is) a crass, violent, defamatory exercise in the on-screen abuse of Zombie stereotypes for profit.

Still, given the (unfortunately) immense level of popularity it achieved, we had also resigned ourselves to sitting through another one. Apparently, that’s not happening, at least for a good long while:

Zombieland fans have been eagerly anticipating a sequel to the film practically since it was released and while there has been a lot of talk about the project, there has been no real movement on it. The four lead actors, as well as the director are all signed on for a sequel but the film’s writers Paul Wernick and Rhett Reese, have yet to begin work on the script. Many thought that Zombieland 2 would be Fleisher’s next film after completing 30 Minutes, but with much of his original cast tied up on other projects, the director has instead opted to helm Gangster Squad with Ryan Gosling (Blue Valentine), Sean Penn (Milk), and Josh Brolin (Jonah Hex) next.

…

“With Zombieland 2 it seems like as much as everyone would like to see that happen, it’s not happening anytime soon,” answered Fleisher. “At least not for me because I’m spoken for, for at least the next year. And I know Emma has Spider-Man commitments and whatnot so I think we all want to (do it) in theory but as each day passes it seems less and less possible.” I followed up by asking him if the delay also had to do with the script not being completed yet. “I think if we had a script that we all loved and we were ready to go make it, it would have been made,” Fleisher explained.

A script was the big holdup? Seriously? The entire point of Zombieland, so far as I could tell, was that it married Zombie movie cliches to star power and a geeky comedic approach. Sort of ‘Shaun of the Dead’ meets ‘Scott Pilgrim’. I think the ‘Zombieland’ fans would be satisfied with anything so long as it involved gratuitous violence, geek humor and slow motion, I mean, it got them through the first one, right?

If all else fails they could have just set it in a mall. ‘Dead Rising’ officially established that George Romero doesn’t own ‘Zombies in a Mall’, for better or worse.

Ah well. Sorry, ‘Zombieland’ fans. (not really)

This gives me more time to devote to.. ugh… ‘World War Z’

Category: Zombie Media | No Comments »
Tags: Movies

Posted By John Sears on July 25, 2011

Etsy, home of individually made items sold by various artisty types, can be a truly wondrous bazaar of the bizarre, but I wasn’t expecting an Anti-Zombie greeting card:

“I’ve got my eyes on you, babe!” is an original ink/watercolor drawing by me, reproduced on this card. The bloodstains around/under the eyeballs are hand-painted on the card in red acrylic.

Handmade/painted on 100% recycled paper. Matching envelope included (5.75″ x 4.25″). Inside blank.

The card is available for shipping immediately and comes with a clear plastic sleeve for protection against zombie infection.

Oh, har-har, Zombies love ripping Living people limb from limb, so funny! A message of hate custom-painted and designed to be mailed, using the Postal Service to spread negative stereotyping about the Differently Animated.

Well, here’s a response: this greeting card is Anti-Zombie.

Category: Zombie Media | No Comments »
Tags: Anti-Zombie Products, ZRC Reviews

Posted By John Sears on July 24, 2011

Yes, as previously discussed here on the blog when we covered the Malta shoot for ‘World War Z’, Glasgow is in the sights of these ridiculously ambitious Living Supremacist filmmakers and the apparently very involved shooting process is coming up now:

The streets of Glasgow can get a little quieter with the onset of the Edinburgh Festival in August. 2011 looks set to be different however, with parts of the city centre undergoing a transformation into a post-apocalyptic zombie land for the filming of World War Z, directed by Marc Forster (Quantum of Solace) and starring Brad Pitt.

…

Several scenes from the film have already been shot in another location; Malta. Filming then moved to the less exotic climes of Falmouth in Cornwall earlier this year and will shortly be heading north to the west coast of Scotland, where Glasgow is set to represent the city of Philadelphia in the aftermath of the zombie war. While it may seem odd that Philadelphia itself wasn’t practical, Scotland’s largest city was chosen for its similar architecture and street plan.

…

Open auditions were held earlier this month at Glasgow Caledonian University, with casting company The Casting Collective going beyond the stereotypes of the flesh-eating and blood-stained, calling instead for adults and children of any age and background. Of course, this is in no way to suggest a resemblance between the local population of Glasgow and the walking dead, regardless of the infinite comic potential of doing so.

Yes, I too have had to struggle mightily to avoid cracking any jokes about shooting a post-apocalypse movie in Glasgow because this is an enlightened and respectful forum for discussion.

So no jibes about how it cuts costs on special effects since Glasgow hit the apocalypse years ago, no references to the mouldering ruins of Western civilization, no quips about Terminator-style montages where people sit around eating rats in front of fires lit in a TV (and how that just means it’s Tuesday in Glasgow), etc.

My family’s Scottish so I’d get a pass, if I had done so, however. Which I didn’t.

As for the rest, well, ‘World War Z’ is after all the ‘The Birth of a Nation’ for the Living Supremacist set, so high production values and extravagance are not unexpected. We’re more saddened by how willing so many locales are to open themselves up to the production of a high budget hate film. For shame, Malta! For shame, Cornwall! For shame, Glasgow!

For shame on so many, really. For shame.

Category: Zombie Media | No Comments »
Tags: Euro-zom, Max Brooks is a Jerk, Movies, Social Justice

Posted By John Sears on July 24, 2011

You’re probably familiar with this more-than-a-pet-peeve of ours by now, but let’s review for the less enlightened just joining us here at The Zombie Rights Campaign: ‘Zombie’ is not a synonym for ‘bad’, ‘wrong’, or ‘thing I just don’t like’.

Zombies are a class of people (or, in some cases, other Unliving things) that have become substantially altered from conventional biological function in some way, a state most commonly called ‘Undeath’, although some subgroupings may not be technically ‘Undead’ but still most commonly identify or self-identify as ‘Zombie’.

Like many sociological terms it’s complicated, ok?

But the broad misuse of the term continues, on and on across the web and the media in general, used by lazy journalists looking for an easy metaphor and a commonly (and unfortunately!) reviled group to smear by comparison with the latest story about something they do not personally approve of.

Case in point, a new abuse from the world of financial reporting:

Goodbye, Borders (OTC: BGPIQ). You’ve closed your final chapter and it’s time to move on. There’s no cliffhanger ending that could raise hopes of a resurrection.

…

And yet, checking up on the stock ten minutes after this morning’s opening bell, shares were down 50% on more than double the average trading volume for a full day. Borders shares keep trading on the Pink Sheets like zombies looking for fresh brains. Don’t let them get yours.

Zombie protection plan
The fact is, those shares aren’t worth the paper they’re printed on. If all goes well, Borders expects — but can’t exactly guarantee — that vendors will get paid for “all expenses incurred during the bankruptcy cases.” Never mind paying off the $345 million in accounts payable and $281 million of “other non-current liabilities” (mostly leases) that Borders had outstanding as of its last SEC report. Much of that debt has been written off as part of the bankruptcy plan, and many lenders and vendors are left holding a large bag.

Ah, see, ‘Zombie’ shares of a defunct company. Gotcha. Because something that was never alive, or remotely alive, in any fashion, can somehow become Undead.

By this logic, a used sheet of notebook paper is ‘Zombie paper’ while it sits in the recycling bin, and once recycled it’s what, Jesus paper? Born-again paper?

You can see the absurdity of this little game the ‘journalists’ and ‘bloggers’ play, but they cannot; good for you. Bad for them. Their lack of empathy, not to mention logic, has been noted.

For shame, Anders Bylund and for shame The Motley Fool for printing this Anti-Zombie dreck.

Category: Zombie Media | No Comments »
Tags: Don't Use the Zed Word, Journamalism, Mainstream Media

Posted By John Sears on July 23, 2011

I strongly deny the implication that violence in the media directly leads to violence in real life, whether from videogames, film or books; to say the evidence is weak would be the understatement of the century. Even if there was a correlation, it is obviously arguable that freedom of expression is worth some risk to society as well as to individuals, and at any rate here in America, the 1st Amendment is in charge.

If violent media led automatically to violent behavior, then surely I’d be in a precarious position myself, having to wade through so much of it for the ZRC’s purposes. Yet, contrarily, exposure to the evil and hateful Anti-Zombie entertainment pervading our culture inspired me to fight against it, and I hope the same is true for many of you.

All that being said, it’s far less radical a thought that violent and depraved forms of ‘entertainment’ might attract those who are already dangerous or unhinged individuals, and Comic-Con, which this year is playing host to a wide variety of Anti-Zombie events celebrating ‘The Walking Dead’, might want to remember an incident from last year involving fans of the Living Supremacist ‘Resident Evil’ movies:

There will be no justice for the geeks of Hall H.

Prosecutors, CityBeat has learned, chose not to file charges against the fan-boy in the Harry Potter “Undesirable No. 1” T-shirt who allegedly stabbed another fan in the face with a pen at the 2010 San Diego Comic-Con. He will not go to Azkaban.

…

If a crime occurred, it was violence born of nerd rage and overcrowding. According to SDPD spokesperson Lt. Andra Brown, Burnham and a second man, Cody Quintano, argued over a seat during the Resident Evil: Afterlife panel on Saturday, July 24. Quintano allegedly wanted more space and vindictively brushed up against Burnham’s calf, or stepped on his foot, on his way out. That led to blows and Burnham stabbed Quintano near his right eye with a pen.

First of all, I have to ask; how do you hold a panel on ‘Resident Evil: Afterlife’, undoubtedly one of the worst and shallowest movies ever made? In the history of the human race there has rarely been a spectacle so utterly devoid of meaning, so shallow, so tepid and boring. Why would *anyone* want to attend a panel on THAT?

I can only imagine: sadists and the mentally unbalanced, and the events from last year seem to support that theory.

Hopefully, in spite of the increased Anti-Zombie programming this year, the violence at least can be kept to a minimum, though Comic-Con should still feel ashamed for catering to an industry so stained with prejudice, so busy chasing hatred in pursuit of the almighty dollar.

Bonus: I can present to you below the best, and only watchable version of RE: Afterlife. Enjoy.

Category: Zombie Media | No Comments »
Tags: Anti-Zombie Public Event, Comics, Movies

Posted By John Sears on July 23, 2011

A spinoff book. A set of ridiculously creepy busts. An Anti-Zombie board game. Yes, ‘The Walking Dead’ is descending on Comic-Con like a plague of ravenous locusts, determined to destroy all compassion toward the Differently Animated as well as, perhaps, all of Western Civilization.

They’re ambitious that way.

AMC is helpfully even providing you with a map to some of the booths you can drop inordinate amounts of money at to further your addiction to Anti-Zombie violence, if you are so sadly afflicted.

As for the ZRC, we suggest you use it in the opposite fashion, as a list of locations to avoid.. or, dare we suggest, locations to picket?

Pleaaaaaase? If you do, upload pictures, we’d love to see them.

Category: Zombie Media | No Comments »
Tags: Anti-Zombie Products, Anti-Zombie Public Event, Books, Comics, Robert Kirkman, Social Justice, Television

Posted By John Sears on July 23, 2011

I’ve been waiting to make this announcement for a long time, and today’s the day we officially unveil our Zombie Organ Donor Drive here at The Zombie Rights Campaign.

What’s that? Well, you can read all about it here, but the short story is: Zombies. Sometimes they have special dietary requirements, and unfortunately, that leads to prejudice and misunderstanding. The #1 Question we get asked at public appearances is, ‘Why should I give Zombies rights when they want to eat me?’

Simultaneously, of course, a sizeable number of Zombies tragically have to go hungry, even in this great nation of ours, because of a lack of ethically sourced human flesh to meet their involuntary and completely reasonable dietary needs.

The ZRC wants to help. We wish to provide both assurances to the Living that peaceful coexistence is possible, even with Zombies that might happen to need a bit of human-sourced nutrition from time to time, and of course, we want to provide that ethically sourced food to the Zombies who need it most.

That’s where you come in. For the low price of $7, you can register online with The Zombie Rights Campaign as a Zombie Organ Donor. In the event of your untimely death and non-resurrection as a Zombie, your non-transplantable organs and parts will be donated to help feed hungry Zombies. You will be officially entered in our publicly viewable Zombie Organ Donor Registry, given a unique Donor ID Number and a personalized ID card that you can sign and laminate with an included, easy to use lamination pouch.

All that, PLUS 2 dollars of every Registration fee goes to the Lynn Sage Cancer Research Foundation. What a deal!

You can even buy additional Registrations for no shipping cost, so each one in addition to the first is only $5, and yes, Lynn Sage still gets 2 of those greenbacks per Registration. Because the Zombies care.

Don’t you care? If you do, please go to our store, or the Zombie Organ Donor page, and consider registering today. The hungry Zombie that this program feeds might very well one day be you.

Category: Zombie Media, ZRC News | No Comments »
Tags: Zombie Products, Zombies Doing Good

Posted By John Sears on July 22, 2011

Yes, that’s right; a tv series itself based on a long-running comic is getting its own, separate book publishing arrangement.

Thankfully, perhaps, for the state of literature itself, these are neither the sort of genre pulp churned out to complement certain videogame/film franchises nor are they novelizations of the show, but rather they appear to be coffee table books with lots of ‘behind the scenes’ information and photography on the process of making the evilest show on television:

The first of these two books that will be in print is being released this fall right as Season 2 begins and is a guide to the first season in a behind-the-scenes style with a ton of information for The Walking Dead fans and will be entitled The Walking Dead Chronicles that will be released on October 1st for $19.95 and edited by Eric Klopfer. The really neat part is that there are over 200 photoes in the book with new shots from the first season and how it was made that haven’t been publically released until now. It also includes interviews with Kirkman, Darabont, Nicotero, and more of the cast and crew as well as a full episode guide!

Yes, because much like devout Jews studying the Torah, Walking Dead fans need to obsessively mull over the tiny details of their TV drug of choice, scrying the production materials for secret information divulged from their (evil, false) gods of fiction.

Brother.

You can read more about this latest ‘Spaceballs: The Placemat’ style marketing exercise at BuyZombie.

Category: Zombie Media | No Comments »
Tags: Books, Mainstream Media, Robert Kirkman, Television

Posted By John Sears on July 22, 2011

Well, more details are now available on the no-doubt-soon-to-be-infamous ‘Walking Dead’ board game, personally approved by ZRC Nemesis Robert Kirkman himself, and it’s not good:

Featuring original art by Walking Dead artist Charlie Adlard, the game allows you to play as either Rick, Tyreese, Glenn, Shane, Dale or Andrea as you attempt to be the first player to successfully scout out three possible safe zones.

…

You can then move up to three spaces, rolling dice based on your assigned attributes to deal with all encounters. But beware – every time you leave a space you must place a zombie token in that spot…

As you can see, Glenn (above) is making his way to the mall, but is leaving a wake of nasty zombie-ness. The more people to play the game, the more quickly the board gets covered in rotting black swarms of zombies.

…

The game board itself is canon to the comic series and actually had to be approved by Robert Kirkman himself. It represents how Kirkman sees the layout of the areas he’s written about and it’s the first time anything from the comic has been officially mapped out.

Yes, the basic mechanic sounds like Settlers of Catan meets Clue meets vicious, ugly Living Supremacism. I mean, just take a look at the image referenced above by the rather oblivious to Zombie Rights IGN writer:

See those poor Zombies? They probably just want hugs, or perhaps some sympathy, or even just not to be shot at by rampaging heavily armed foragers, but nooo, we’re to assume that they’re the bad guys, as well as some sort of natural disaster/obstacle merely to be overcome with no feelings of their own.

Disgusting.

Needless to say, this game merely adds one more reason to stand up to the forces of evil and prejudice, here being represented by Robert Kirkman and the people at Z-Man Games and TBC, LLC.

I’d say ‘for shame’ but honestly, I don’t think Mr. Kirkman has any shame left.

(image obviously belongs to IGN, used for critique, blah blah, fair use, etc.)

Category: Zombie Media | 1 Comment »
Tags: Anti-Zombie Products, Robert Kirkman, Television