We hope you'll find this blog an educational, entertaining, and inspiring source of information, whether you're recently undead, a long-time member of the differently animated, or a still-living friend of your fallen, yet risen again, brethren. Everyone with an interest in zombie rights is welcome!
Here’s a heartwarming update to the scandalous mistreatment of protesters and Zombie Rights activists that we reported on (back in May):
Fifteen people who were arrested preemptively on the day of the Royal Wedding have been granted permission to challenge their arrests by way of Judicial Review. The claimants, who were arrested from different locations across central London, had not committed any crimes. Those arrested included people on their way to peaceful protests, as well as people the police merely suspected of being on their way to protests. None of the claimants were charged and all were released almost as soon as the public celebrations had finished.
“It is our view that the treatment of our clients was unlawful under common law and was in breach of their fundamental rights under the European Court of Human Rights articles 5, 8, 10 and 11” said a spokesperson from Bhatt Murphy. “The apparent existence of an underlying policy that resulted in those arrests is a matter of considerable concern with implications for all those engaged in peaceful dissent or protest.”
Those arrested include members of the ‘Charing Cross 10’ who were on their way to a republican street party, the ‘Starbucks Zombies’ who were arrested from an Oxford Street branch of Starbucks for wearing zombie fancy dress, and a man who was simply walking in London and was stopped and arrested by plainclothes officers because he was a ‘known activist’. The arrests have been dubbed ‘precrime’ in many circles.
Well! The wheels of justice may be slow, but at least they’re moving, both for free speech in general and Zombie activism in particular. Perhaps a new, and much Zombie Friendlier, day is dawning for our friends across the Atlantic?
The Zombie Rights Campaign certainly hopes so, and strongly endorses this continued pursuit of justice for all, both Living and Undead.
“If you don’t know how to survive a zombie attack, chances are you will when I get done talking,” said Max Brooks, author of New York Times best-sellers, “The Zombie Survival Guide” and “World War Z.”
Brooks is giving a lecture on zombie survival Tuesday, at the Illini Union Ballroom from 7-9 p.m. It is free for students and presented by the Illini Union Board.
Yes, because it’s the ZOMBIES who are roaming the countryside spreading fear and terror, not yourself, Mr. Brooks.
Brooks doesn’t just see zombies as great metaphor for disaster education, he also sees them as a great metaphor for the bottomless cruelty and selfishness of humanity.
Brooks explains: “Mindlessness always terrifies me. People who act without thinking — especially people who commit violent acts without thinking — are terrifying. I lost six million of my relatives because of that mindlessness … The static, inhuman, walking ebola kind of zombies keep me awake at night.”
Ah, the tired old Nazi-Zombie comparison. The thing that sticks out at me most here, however, is the notion that somehow the Holocaust was ‘mindless’. Unspeakably cruel, of course, but I’d never seen Germans accused of reckless inattention to details before, let alone in that awful historical crime.
Natural disasters are ‘mindless’. Earthquakes, tsunamis, hurricanes, none of them care, or even know, about the suffering they cause. On the other hand, the Holocaust took, err, rather a lot of planning from a great number of very twisted and sadistic people.
None of which addresses the cruel slander of comparing the Differently Animated generally to a vile strain of political extremists.
Finally, after talking about his very limited involvement in the film adaptation of his book (his role apparently consisted of taking a big bag of cash with a dollar sign on the side and resuming his hate speech tour), Brooks closed with a pitch seemingly concocted by the hardware store chains:
Now back to the basement: Did you figure out how to stop the zombies? Brooks suggests you find a crowbar. Pry open the door, shove back the moaning horde and spear the zombie skulls with the tool’s wedged end. Crowbars are useful in any type of disaster, Brooks said.
“And they don’t need reloading,” he added.
Funny, in your books you say that BLADES don’t need reloading. Did Home Depot get to you, Max? Was that another sack of cash?
Pity that recognition doesn’t extend much beyond the title of this article, which instead largely deals with the logistics of an extended NERF gun battle across campus.
We hope for a bit more nuance to future articles on the subject and would love to see the issue of Greenface and Zombie exploitation explored in a forum sure to reach so many students.
Max Brooks’s zombie novel World War Z has surpassed the million copies sold mark. The book, which was publishing by Random House’s Crown imprint in hardcover in September 2006, has sold over 1 million copies in all formats combined: hardcover, paperback and digital.
Apparently his previous work of Living Supremacism, ‘The Zombie Survival Guide’, has sold almost 1.4 million.
I realized recently that I never got around to reviewing the Dark Carnival Film Festival’s various Zombie related films from last month, in part due to ZombieWriMo!
Let’s correct that now, shall we?
‘A Chance in Hell’
This indie take on the perennial ‘Nazi-Zombie’ motif is interesting on a number of levels. Shot in murky color it plays the concept of a secret Zombie-making Nazi lab very straight, and reminded me both of the early scenes of the most recent X-Men film (about Magneto’s time in a concentration camp), along with some of the darker alternate history comics I’ve seen, particularly ‘I Am Legion’, which I picked up the first issue of once solely because it’s drawn by John Cassaday* of Planetary fame.
But I digress.
A small squad of infantry types invades a secret Nazi bunker where of course the experiments have gone awry and becomes trapped inside, ala ‘Resident Evil’. Can they make their way to the radio room and call in an airstrike to eradicate the entire area?
Would that even work? I mean, the Zombies they fear so much chased them IN to the bunker, which necessarily means they were OUTSIDE of the target. It’s not like we had spare nukes for Europe to turn an entire region into ash.
Logistical issues aside the most striking thing about the film from a Zombie Rights perspective is the shocking brutality shown toward Zombie children, who really only want hugs and a bit of love. These American GIs? They just shoot them instead.
ZRC Pal and my ZombieWriMo nemesis Michelle Hartz was there with us during this screening and was particularly appalled at this mistreatment.
The ZRC rates this well-executed but harsh and cruel film in our lowest tier, that of Living Supremacist. For shame.
‘Fitness Class Zombie‘
This very short film from Chris Walsh continues in the unfortunate tradition of his previous work, ‘Rise of the Living Corpse’ and showcases a stop motion Zombie who is abused for the slapstick entertainment of the audience, this time on the basis that Zombies are gross and fall apart easily, or something.
It’s short but goes down badly. We had no choice but to rate this film as being Anti-Zombie for its insulting depiction of Zombie fitness, which after all is an important topic. For those Zombies who require exercise, I mean.
‘Dead Friends’
Spoilers follow, if you need to skip ahead, go to the next rating graphic to learn the truth:
This was the movie we most anticipated at The Dark Carnival Film Festival, and sadly it was also the one that most disappointed. It starts off promisingly enough, with a lonely little girl turning to necromancy of a sort to create a new friend, an adorable, if confused and somewhat put-upon little Zombie boy. They laugh and play and he puts up with constant tea parties, but things take a darker turn. The little girl, clearly not being raised properly, treats the Zombie boy like a pet, or worse, like a piece of furniture. In spite of her abuses he is completely devoted, even going so far as violently defending her against some assailants.
But alas, he cannot win her affection, and out of spite he attacks her preferentially treated stuffed animal, who actually gets to sleep in a bed (while Zomboy gets the cold hard floor I might add). The little girl then savagely murders him with an hatchet.
Not joking. She kills him with an hatchet.
This isn’t a Zombie Friendly movie! This isn’t a Zombie Friendly movie at all!
In fact, we picketed it on the last day of the Dark Carnival, if only for a little while.
We also rate this film with a shameful Living Supremacist rating, and note that it BROKE MY HEART COMPLETELY.
So sad.
That was more or less it for the straight-on Zombie movies. A few other films touched on issues for the Undead generally, especially ‘Bite Marks’, a sort of gay rom-vam-com. It isn’t at all Vampire Friendly, but at least they don’t sparkle. I think that’s something.
Well, that’s about it for our ZRC ‘Dark Carnival Film Festival’ movie reviews! Check back for more news and information if ZombieWriMo doesn’t murder me.
For those scholars of influential Anti-Zombie films it appears that the ‘More Brains!’ documentary is insightful and quite in-depth; the ZRC will have to view it, especially once the ZombieWriMo rush is over. In the meantime you can see some thoughts on the film and the art of making Anti-Zom propaganda in the 80s here.
As it happens, I’m not the only one battling Michelle Hartz for the soul of ZombieWriMo, and a very good short story entitled ‘The Living Corpse, posted online recently, helps to illustrate the harrowing perils of irresponsible, reckless necromancy.
I suggest you all read it and keep these issues in mind when considering the use of ‘infernal black sorcery’ to reanimate the recently dead.
The AMC hit zombie show, “The Walking Dead,” recently added a veterinarian to the cast of characters and he’s working on saving a kid who was shot, because, of course, in a zombie apocalypse, doctors are in short supply.
This turn of events got the American Veterinary Medical Association to thinking how vets could be beneficial to the human race in such an unlikely scenario.
“Some of us here are fans of the show and it’s great to see a vet highlighted in a positive way,” said Michael San Filippo, a press guy for the AVMA.
Oh sure, the vet comes off ok, but what about the Undead? Does the AVMA really want its members associated with rampant cruelty to Zombies? What about Zombie pets? Don’t they need care?
Apparently those with Zombie pets should be very careful what vets they take their animals to:
Dr. John Vinciguerra, of the Tri-County Veterinary Hospital in Pilesgrove, was a bit less confident.
“I don’t know if I’d be able to help, unless I worked on finding a cure,” he said.
He did show a commendable regard for all of humankind, though.
If you get bit, “I could euthanize you so you don’t bite anyone and create more zombies,” said Dr. John.
Euthanize all zombies? Isn’t that a bit drastic?
“Well, I’m not trying to win over the zombies,” he said.
Wow. I guess Dr. John Vinciguerra is a real Living Supremacist bigot, huh?
Good to know.
Once again we have the evil Robert Kirkman to thank for helping to foment this conflict with his divisive and, let’s face it, evil ‘entertainment’ products. For shame. For shame.
Even though this is ZombieWriMo month and I’m slaving away to try and catch Michelle Hartz (Imagine me saying it like Kirk in ‘Wrath of Khan’: HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRTZZZZZZZZZ’) I still follow the news feeds and look into leads from Twitter.
A. When it comes to zombie bragging rights, Romero was — pardon the pun — late getting to the graveyard. Already in the late 1800s, writers were becoming fascinated with bringing life back to the dead, paving the way for the so-called “classic” films you remember.
One of the best examples was noted horror writer H.P. Lovecraft’s 1922 short story “Herbert West: Reanimator,” which some say helped define zombies in popular culture. Although he didn’t refer to them as zombies, mad scientist Herbert West imbued his corpses with all the traits we have come to know love: uncontrollable, mute, primitive and violent.
While I was pleasantly surprised to see an answer noting that lots of Zombie fiction predates Romero, not just but including Voodoo Zombie fiction, this bit on Lovecraft is staggeringly wrong.
The Zombies, if one wants to call them that (Differently Animated might be a better umbrella term here) in Re-Animator are NOT mute, primitive or uncontrollable, and arguably aren’t all that violent either, merely seeking retributive justice.
You know how I can be so sure? Well, for one thing, I read the original story. But for another, Re-Animator was published in 1922, and as such, is now firmly in the Public Domain. Translation: anyone who wants can legally read it for free just by hitting google.
The scream of a dead man gave to me that acute and added horror of Dr. Herbert West which harassed the latter years of our companionship. It is natural that such a thing as a dead man’s scream should give horror, for it is obviously not a pleasing or ordinary occurrence; but I was used to similar experiences, hence suffered on this occasion only because of a particular circumstance. And, as I have implied, it was not of the dead man himself that I became afraid.
For that very fresh body, at last writhing into full and terrifying consciousness with eyes dilated at the memory of its last scene on earth, threw out its frantic hands in a life and death struggle with the air; and suddenly collapsing into a second and final dissolution from which there could be no return, screamed out the cry that will ring eternally in my aching brain:
“Help! Keep off, you cursed little tow-head fiend—keep that damned needle away from me!”
So, the reanimated people aren’t mute. Strike one.
As for uncontrollable and primitive, not only are the Zombies capable of outwitting Herbert West, they mercifully spare his assistant (and the story’s narrator) despite his obvious culpability, and demonstrate considerable skill with masonry I might add (lengthy quote, but as I said, PUBLIC DOMAIN):
It was West who first noticed the falling plaster on that part of the wall where the ancient tomb masonry had been covered up. I was going to run, but he stopped me. Then I saw a small black aperture, felt a ghoulish wind of ice, and smelled the charnel bowels of a putrescent earth. There was no sound, but just then the electric lights went out and I saw outlined against some phosphorescence of the nether world a horde of silent toiling things which only insanity—or worse—could create. Their outlines were human, semi-human, fractionally human, and not human at all—the horde was grotesquely heterogeneous. They were removing the stones quietly, one by one, from the centuried wall. And then, as the breach became large enough, they came out into the laboratory in single file; led by a stalking thing with a beautiful head made of wax. A sort of mad-eyed monstrosity behind the leader seized on Herbert West. West did not resist or utter a sound. Then they all sprang at him and tore him to pieces before my eyes, bearing the fragments away into that subterranean vault of fabulous abominations. West’s head was carried off by the wax-headed leader, who wore a Canadian officer’s uniform. As it disappeared I saw that the blue eyes behind the spectacles were hideously blazing with their first touch of frantic, visible emotion.
Servants found me unconscious in the morning. West was gone. The incinerator contained only unidentifiable ashes. Detectives have questioned me, but what can I say? The Sefton tragedy they will not connect with West; not that, nor the men with the box, whose existence they deny. I told them of the vault, and they pointed to the unbroken plaster wall and laughed. So I told them no more. They imply that I am a madman or a murderer—probably I am mad. But I might not be mad if those accursed tomb-legions had not been so silent.
So, to review: the Zombies are organized, intelligent, capable of speech, planning, construction work and even mercy. And all this is available to anyone with the ability to use google.
Oy.
Bonus points: Wikipedia gets this wrong too, also labeling the clearly organized, rational and intelligent Undead as ‘animalistic’. Heckuva job there guys!
