Posted By John Sears on May 27, 2011

Ok, Europe, can we have a quiet word please?

….

All right, I think we’re alone. Look; what is wrong with you people precisely? At first it seemed like a fluke here and there, a movie like ’28 Days Later’ would come out, or ‘Shaun of the Dead’, that sort of thing. We were inclined to overlook it, especially since Simon Pegg is such a sad, gushing fanboy of George Romero’s work.

In the last year or two, however, your behavior is really starting to concern those of us across the Atlantic. You’ve started churning out Anti-Zombie film trash like ‘Cabine of the Dead‘ (from France), ‘Zone 261′ (from Sweden) and ‘Toxic Lullaby‘ (from Germany).

Now we have news of a new Anti-Zombie comedy from the Netherlands called ‘Shouf Shouf Zombibi!’ and really, it’s time you had an intervention:

What we’re talking about here is Shouf Shouf Zombibi, Erwin van den Eshof and Martijn Smits’ new zombie comedy from the Netherlands starring Achmed Akkabi, Mimoun Ouled Radi, and Yes-R.

“The bizarre story takes place in Amsterdam-West, where a virus turns people into bloodthirsty zombies. Although much blood is flowing and many limbs chopped off, there is a lot to laugh at in this bizarre horror comedy.”

Seriously, anyone who views this trailer would have to conclude that you’re not a well Continent:

Elder abuse, graphic violence, characters who seem to live their lives in a pathetic shadow world of pop-culture movie references? Is this what you’re reduced to as a land-mass now? Europe once gave us the Renaissance and the Enlightenment but now it seems that European entertainment has been reduced to cravenly imitating American Anti-Zombie prejudice.

For shame, once-great geographic entity. I guess if you really want to, you can keep up this behavior. Maybe we can pencil you in as the 51st state and make it official.

Or, alternately, you could do something innovative, original and Zombie Friendly, striking a blow for Zombie Rights worldwide.

You know, if you’re not too busy trying to fit in with Hollywood’s big Anti-Zombie kick.

Category: Uncategorized | No Comments »
Tags: Euro-zom, Movies, Social Justice, Youtube Mischief

Posted By John Sears on May 26, 2011

Honestly, is there any undesired phenomenon that people won’t try to tie to Zombies and some sort of apocalypse?

Case in point, a new song/video by Rebecca Loebe entitled ‘Bees and Zombies’ that mixes the worrisome global decline in honeybee populations with struggling romance and the Zombie Apocalypse:

Just check out some of these lyrics:

Like my beloved brontosaurus they pulled Pluto from the sky
But none of that seemed serious compared to you and I
The bees begin a chapter now in human history
Undoubtedly to go down as Apocalyptic-Pre
Oh how can no one see this omen cause
When the Zombies come you’ll be all I need
Mad as Max and half as mean
I promise not to run, you’ll find me where I am
But baby —-
I forgot the plan!

For the record, although the precise cause of said worldwide decline in honeybees, known as Colony Collapse Disorder, has not been conclusively determined, no reputable scientific theory attempting to explain the phenomenon ties it to a Zombie Apocalypse.

Not yet, anyway. Maybe Harvard can supply us with a professor to work on that, ala Dr. Schlozman and his Zombie-bashing work.

And I’m completely mystified what Zombies have to do with the admittedly questionable decision to revoke Pluto’s status as a planet.

Is Ms. Loebe saying that Zombie Astronomers are to blame?

Honestly, the last thing we needed was another highly catchy Anti-Zombie song, married to a watchable video no less. For shame, Ms. Loebe, for shame.

We rate ‘Bees and Zombies’, both the song and video, as thoroughly Living Supremacist for their abusive depiction of the Zombie population as some sort of negative omen about the end of the world. Just because you’re prejudiced, Ms. Loebe, that doesn’t make it the Apocalypse.

For shame, Ms. Loebe. For shame.

Category: Zombie Media | 1 Comment »
Tags: Music, Youtube Mischief

Posted By John Sears on May 26, 2011

When you choose to associate with unsavory and violent individuals and institutions it should come as little surprise if you are harmed as well, but still it’s rare to see such a crass and transparent abuse of trust between a business and its customer base as this franchise opportunity being marketed by a rabidly Anti-Zombie organization:

Equipment: Once you’re part of the 888-WuzDead family, you’ll be treated with respect and dignity. You are now a Figure of Prominence in your community, and you need to be outfitted accordingly. 888-WuzDead will provide you, at no more that 15% over retail price, all the necessary equipment, automobiles, arms and munitions, uniforms, stationary, and toiletries that you will ever need, on a continuing and legally binding basis, for the lifetime of your business plus ten years. It’s an amazing deal!

Observation: Many franchisees have to put up with company observers, surprise maintenance and compliance inspections, and periodic re-qualifying tests. That’s just not the 888-WuzDead way. You keep sending in the checks, and we’ll stay out of your business. After all, if it’s making money, it must be working!

The extremely (and literally) mercenary individuals at 888-WuzDead hate Zombies. That much they admit openly, and even prominently advertise. What their business model makes clear, however, is that they hate other Zombie Haters almost as much.

I mean, let’s say you take them up on this evil offer. First of all: shame on you! You’re an awful excuse for a human being, trying to eradicate your fellow human beings for money.

Second, though, you’re now locked into a legally binding arrangement where you’re compelled to forever pay 888-WuzDead an outrageous markup on your supplies and business needs in perpetuity no less. What do you get from 888-Wuzdead in exchange for this surcharge? Apparently it’s limited to ‘respect’ and ‘dignity’.

Which of course you don’t deserve in the first place, being a vicious Zombie Murderer for Hire and all.

Evil sows the seeds of its own destruction, I suppose. While the Zombie Rights Movement is supportive and compassionate, a broad coalition looking out for the interests of its members and society at large, Anti-Zombie individuals have repeatedly shown themselves to be vicious schemers not above sabotaging and conspiring against their own kind.

We can all learn a lesson from that phenomenon, I believe.

Category: Zombie Media | No Comments »
Tags: Advertising, Anti-Zombie Products, Social Justice

Posted By John Sears on May 26, 2011

Here at The ZRC we’re big backers of public events celebrating the Undead and allowing them to gather in large numbers in safety (at least, assuming Tom Savini isn’t lurking nearby). However, we cannot lend our approval to the establishment of a ‘separate-but-equal’ treatment of the Differently Animated, where Zombies are welcome to spend their hard-earned money at your establishment, but only when the regular, Living customers/patrons/what not won’t have to see their Undead co-citizens around.

Thus we have to sadly condemn what could have been a fun and inclusive event for the Living and Undead alike with a bit more care and sensitivity:

Dorney Park & Wildwater Kingdom is opening its gates to the undead for ONE NIGHT ONLY!
**
But make it a day – gates open at 10am for humans, so come early and take full advantage of BOTH Dorney Park and Wild Water Kingdom!

Our Zombie Base Camp (right inside the park’s grounds) will open at 5pm, offering Zombie Makeovers from talented makeup artists for a nominal fee; or you can bring your own supplies and get ready in the Base Camp.

(you ticket will allow you reentry – so you can run your supplies, etc back to your car before the Zombie Invasion at 8pm)

At 7pm the park will close to the public but you can gather with other
zombies in the base camp until 8pm – when the Zombie Invasion will begin! In addition to all the rides in Dorney Park, there will be live music,
zombified food specials, two Chickie & Pete beer gardens and more!

THIS EVENT IS ALL AGES – so bring the entire undead family!

Zombie Invasion tickets are just $25 and include ALL DAY admission to Dorney Park and Wild Water Kingdom (normal price – $44!)

Oh, we see how it is. Sure, Dorney Park and Wild Water Kingdom wants to take money from Zombie patrons, as well as greenfaced Living customers, but should a Zombie want to attend in the bright light of daytime? Tough luck, Mr. Zombie, you can’t come inside – even through the service entrance at the back. Zombie families can play at the park, but only after dark; sorry little Zombie Billy, you’re not wanted during the day when people might see you.

Isn’t it just terrible to see this sort of segregation and prejudice in this day and age? We think so, here at The Zombie Rights Campaign.

For shame, Dorney Park and Wild Water Kingdom. For shame.

Category: Zombie Media | No Comments »
Tags: Social Justice, Zombie Public Event

Posted By John Sears on May 25, 2011

We commented previously on the trailer for ‘Rigamortis: A Zombie Love Story’ here on the ZRC blog and were subsequently informed via the comments that the movie had gone up for free on Youtube for a limited time.

Having watched the movie in its entirety now, I can safely say that The Zombie Rights Campaign has never seen anything quite like it, and we heartily approve, while simultaneously cautioning our viewers: while this is a musical film with comedic elements, it is also a very tragic story of the awful and entirely avoidable conflict between the Living and Differently Animated communities stoked by radical ideologues like George Romero, Max Brooks and Robert Kirkman. Do not go into watching ‘Rigamortis’ lightly; it deals with serious issues and conflicts present in our contemporary Anti-Zombie culture.

The film opens in the aftermath of a brutal and thorough pogrom conducted against a spontaneous Undead Block Party here in Wisconsin; a single man by the name of Brock has emerged as the white knight of the victorious Anti-Zombie faction and the musical’s opening number deals with his purge of what he thinks are the last remaining Differently Animated in the area, perhaps on Earth.

It’s not every film that *opens* with an attempted genocide.

Brock even goes so far as to savagely kill a ‘Mombie’ in front of her Living son, who, under the sway of this charismatic Totalitarian figure, is all-too-easily convinced of the rightness of this massacre.

Like I said, it’s an ugly and difficult scenario for any movie to cover.

Unbeknownst to Brock, however, two Zombies have survived the genocide, the film’s protagonists Parker and Zoey; Parker watches silently as Brock and his angry mob burn the bodies of their victims in the town square, while Zoey narrowly escapes a smaller mob with Parker’s help. Unsurprisingly, the two Zombies turn to each other for comfort and support in this trying time, and quickly fall in love. Zoey even convinces Parker to follow the path of non-violence, turning the other cheek on the Living masses in order to avoid becoming cruel and heartless like they have.

Meanwhile, Brock finds out that there are two remaining Zombies, and is shocked to discover one is Zoey – his apparently lost love from before the Undead began to rise. He also learns that he can neither escape nor live without the fame he’s grown accustomed to as ‘humanity’s greatest defender/killer, and struggles with what to do about Zoey, Parker, and his growing sense of shame and doubt.

I won’t spoil the thrilling climax or harrowing conclusion of ‘Rigamortis: A Zombie Love Story’, but it’s not a great leap to say that it was never likely that a story such as this could end well for all concerned. This is a musical, and very funny at times, but let’s not forget that any war between the Living and the Undead is by definition a bloody waste and a tragedy. Think of this as the independent, Zombie ‘Apocalypse’ version of ‘Les Miserables’ if that helps.

From a Zombie Rights perspective, ‘Rigamortis’ is a rousing success, noteworthy for its insight and sympathy for not just Zombies but the misguided Living Supremacist fools who seek the destruction of the Undead out of prejudice. The Zombies within the film aren’t perfect individuals or poster children for Zombie Rights, but they are real, flesh and blood people, people who lack, as we say, pulses but not hearts.

The ZRC therefore awards ‘Rigamortis: A Zombie Love Story’ our coveted ‘Zombie Friendly’ award.

We’ve embedded all three sections of the film below; they’re only available for a limited time so eventually these links will break, folks! Get watching, ZRC orders.

Category: Zombie Media | No Comments »
Tags: Movies, ZRC Reviews

Posted By John Sears on May 25, 2011

A quick update to capitalize on one of the ZRC Compound’s renewable resources, adorable wild animal photographs:

They seem to like congregating under that one tree; I guess it keeps the sun/rain out pretty effectively.

Now for the daily dose of horror, look what happened when I tried to take a picture of that one rabbit in motion:

DEMON RABBIT! RUN FOR YOUR LIVES, THE END TIMES ARE UPON US!!!

Category: ZRC News | No Comments »
Tags:

Posted By John Sears on May 25, 2011

Seriously? Seriously.

So what happens when the zombie virus infects other species? We’ve seen zombie animals before but how about something else new and creative? Zombies infecting say, candycorn? A perfect Halloween treat!

I’m not sure if this is a bizarre case of splashing Zombiism into everything or some demented but creative take on previous food mascots like the California Raisins.

How can something that was never alive be Undead? Well, how can raisins sing? Sometimes this stuff doesn’t have to make any sense.

The question for the ZRC is whether or not the shirt is good for Zombie-Living Relations, and.. it’s just not easy to tell from the art. Sure, it says ‘Attack’, but look at those slacker expressions on the candy… they don’t look hostile to me. Stoned, maybe, but not hostile. The original seller’s site doesn’t offer any additional context on the Rights issue. Perplexing.

For now I guess we withhold judgment and just add it to the list of oddities we come across in our work here at the ZRC.

Category: Zombie Media | No Comments »
Tags: Clothing

Posted By John Sears on May 25, 2011

Ok, I know I say I’m outraged about a lot of stuff here on the blog, but this story really, really makes me mad:

Are you ready for the Zombie Apocalypse?
Get your set of zombie targets today.

Targets are 18 X 24 inches and feature 3 different graphic patterns. The 3 different target patterns are a man, woman and a child.

Large enough for real use (18 x 24 inches) , these Zombie Targets also make great decorations for you dorm room or fallout shelter.

Yes folks, they are seriously selling paper targets to help you hone your aim by shooting at the Differently Animated.

Including Zombie children.

What kind of a sick, twisted, demented and conscience-free monstrosity wants to take potshots at ANY child?

Do people honestly think it’s ok to do this if the image concerned is of a child from a particular vitality status? Would it be ok if it was of a particular ethnicity?

The same of course goes for the Adult targets, but the addition of a Zombie child raises the level of depravity considerably. And the goal of these targets, taking them at their word, is to make the marksmen using them better slaughterers and injurers of the Differently Animated – even kids.

Appalling. Go tell those jerks at T-Shirt Bordello what you think of their hatemongering products if you agree.

Category: Zombie Media | 2 Comments »
Tags: Anti-Zombie Products, Social Justice

Posted By John Sears on May 24, 2011

I like this comic a lot… but the text quoted afterward, even intended in jest as I think it was, is a bit disturbing:

Oh No!
Tuesday, March 30th, 2010 :: 1:15 am

They then proceeded to eat his brain in an ugly, scary fashion.

Is that a comment on the unfortunate violence that can occur as a result of bigotry and the mistreatment of the Differently Animated, or is it just a joke about how even articulate and sensitive Zombies are after your brain? Or even just a sly joke, a throwaway line not intended to be taken seriously?

Inquiring minds want to know, and without more information it’s hard to rate the comic in context, as it were.

Category: Zombie Media | No Comments »
Tags: Comics

Posted By John Sears on May 24, 2011

We’ve talked a bit about the nexus of Zombies and religion here on the ZRC blog before; it’s hardly our forte, but the fairly obvious significance of the fact that Jesus (in the Christian religion) not just came back from the dead himself but raised one of the first Zombies described in Western literature is hard to overlook.

Clearly, Christianity as a religion should be Pro-Zombie, but that’s true of all major ideologies I think.

However clearly not everyone sees it that way:

According to Fangoria it looks as if Eric Balfour will be sitting in the director’s chair for the guaranteed to be a cult classic from being based on a comic film known only as Jesus Hates Zombies. No, this isn’t an angst film about how Jesus hates himself for being one of the first documented zombies, returning from the dead, spreading himself into others, the whole drinking of the blood and eating of the flesh bit. This is a story about Jesus hating (and slaughtering) hordes and hordes of zombies who have infected the population. (Who, oddly enough, has a zombie for a sidekick.)

Great. Not only is a film adaptation of a comic book coming out that purports to show the Son of the Lord Almighty murdering Zombies, but he even has a Zombie token as a sidekick. Could this get more offensive?

Well, perhaps, given that the religious overtones are intended somewhat seriously and baked deeply into the production:

“My guess is that it has been so well-received because we set out to do the exact opposite of what the title suggests: being sacrilegious and all shock value,” he continues. “Instead, without being preachy or overtly religious, the core message is actually about the power of faith. I was raised Catholic and Jason is Baptist, so it was easy for us to write Jesus as an action hero because, if you think about it, he really was. Of course, we know we aren’t going to win with the religious right no matter what, but we aren’t trying to; we just want to tell a great story, and this may very well be ‘The Greatest Story Ever Told.’ Right now we’re in talks with living legend Bruce Dern to play God. If this comes together, not only will it be the best casting ever, I’ll take it as a sign from actual God that this movie is meant to be.”

Yes, this movie is all about the power of faith, and how, apparently even God disapproves of the Differently Animated.

Make no mistake about what this movie represents folks; this is religious warfare as entertainment, incitement to sectarian violence, to killing in the name of God.

Despicable and loathsome in the extreme.

Category: Zombie Media | No Comments »
Tags: Comics, Movies, Social Justice