Posted By John Sears on September 4, 2011

I think it’s about time for another short film review, don’t you?

‘Zombie’s Day Out’ is a quirky and very inventive little film that you kind of have to see to understand. How else can I get across the idea of a movie whose story is told entirely from ankle-height?

Here, it’s only a couple of minutes long and worth observing:

You can probably guess what I’m going to say: here was a film that had a chance to truly help bridge the divide between a predominantly Living audience on Youtube and the Differently Animated with an interesting film told in a novel way, and it had to spoil the experience and squander the chance by putting in a seemingly pro forma Zombie-on-Living attack scene.

*sigh*

The Zombie Rights Campaign is saddened. ‘Zombie’s Day Out’ could have been so much more.

The ZRC rates ‘Zombie’s Day Out’ as Anti-Zombie.

Category: Zombie Media | No Comments »
Tags: Movies, Youtube Mischief, ZRC Reviews

Posted By John Sears on September 4, 2011

I’m beginning to think that we’re going to have to retire, or at least diversity, the ZRC blog’s ‘Don’t Use the Zed Word’ tag, which we apply when journalists or pundits lazily apply the label ‘Zombie’ to something they dislike.

In this latest case, we’re talking about big box stores that have cut back on inventory and don’t know how to arrange their wares to avoid an empty-feeling store:

The consequences are well known. The customer enters the store and there is a hush inside, and a low energy level. If the store is a large one, there is likely to be an inordinate amount of empty space because inventory has been “controlled” so much that some racks and other display fixtures have been taken away.

The shelves that remain may have bare spaces, and where the space is actually occupied there may only be a few picked-over items. Clothing racks, if it’s a clothing store, may be half-empty and only have one or two sizes or colours for each item.

…

Welcome to the zombie store, the store built for another era, when consumers only bought things, not experiences, when they didn’t travel overseas, when their houses and wardrobes weren’t already bulging with junk, when fashion was synonymous with clothing, when there was no e-commerce, and when people didn’t mind dragging themselves around cavernous, unnavigable multi-level stores because they had nothing else to do but mop floors and watch the soaps.

Welcome to the land of a 9 comma run-on sentence that comprises an entire paragraph!

Good grief, where was the editor on vacation when that got through?

When you take a step back and look at things from a broader perspective, you see how writers like this Michael Baker fellow are diluting the term ‘Zombie’ to the point it could mean everything and nothing at all. A ‘Zombie’ store is a store that doesn’t have enough stuff to fill its leased space. Or not; it just needs to somehow *feel* that way. So it isn’t inventory, just a vague.. feeling. A Zombie store doesn’t feel ‘right’, to some undefined observer, based on undefined, subjective criteria.

Take that a step further. Is a theatre a ‘Zombie theatre’ if it’s empty? But of course, theatres spend the vast majority of their lives mostly empty. As do most stores of course, save those open 24 hours. As someone who’s worked night stock at a store that closed in the evenings, I can attest that the very same store that Mr. Baker would judge to be thoroughly lively and full of stuff to purchase during the day feels very empty at night.

So would that store be a Half-Zombie store?

What if it had a midnight sale? A quasi-Zombie store?

And let’s not even get started on defining life as being full of commercial activity and consumerism, although it would be a pleasantly ironic inversion of George Romero’s social critique in ‘Dawn of the Dead’.

Honestly. ‘Zombie store’. Give me a break.

Category: Zombie Media | No Comments »
Tags: Don't Use the Zed Word, Journamalism

Posted By John Sears on September 3, 2011

Notice: The following post contains details from Max Brooks’ hyperviolent, amoral and sadistic Living Supremacist Magnum Opus ‘World War Z’ to help illustrate the incredible impropriety of using it as the base of a year of introductory academic instruction. Proceed with caution.

I’m shocked and appalled by this outrageous misuse and abuse of developing young minds looking for an education:

The First Year Experience Committee is excited to welcome you to our Community of Readers program!

As a way to introduce you to the UHV learning community, you will receive a copy of the book World War Z as our gift to you. Your university faculty, staff and members of the Victoria community will be reading this book as well. Together we will join in a year-long series of activities and events to connect with each other as fellow readers and learners and to explore the themes of the book. This will be your opportunity to join our academic community as a fellow explorer of ideas.

Explorer of ideas? You mean, the prejudicial, inflammatory and flagrantly offensive stereotypes of the Differently Animated that permeate the entirety of ‘World War Z’? Or do you mean the openly Zombicidal ‘South Africa Plan’ that Brooks proposes, fleshes out and then openly advocates as a grisly sort of Final Solution for the Zombie ‘Problem’?

That sort of ideas?

I take it that the University of Houston-Victoria has no use for, or welcome ready for, today’s hardworking Zombie Student. No, Zombie in search of higher learning, UHV has no place for you, nor your tuition dollars.

The purpose of this exercise in Living Supremacist indoctrination is, supposedly, to help integrate incoming freshman class members into the ‘community’ at the University. Their alleged mission (beyond spreading hate) and selection criteria that led them to promoting ‘World War Z’ are fascinating examples of the end result of blindness to the plight of the modern Zombie Citizen:

Mission

The Community of Readers program is designed to promote a shared intellectual experience between first year students and the larger community by offering a common reading that provides cross-disciplinary perspectives, is relevant to our region, and compelling in its storytelling. With the goals of promoting dialogue, critical thinking and intellectual curiosity, the Community of Readers program enhances the Jaguar Spirit and UHV Community.
Book Selection Rationale

After much deliberation and consideration, the committee adopted “World War Z” by Max Brooks for the 2011-2012 academic year. This book was selected for many reasons: (1) it offers a compelling vision of the aftermath of a global pandemic, featuring personal, community and governmental responses of ingenuity, determination and hope; (2) it includes cross-disciplinary perspectives of historical, scientific and social significance, enhancing learning across the curriculum; and (3) the nature of the story provides numerous opportunities for associated activities, films, and speakers to augment the experience of the book.

‘Ingenuity, determination and hope’? Excuse me, but the ‘hope’ presented by Mr. Brooks is a grim, cynical polemic against the Living population for its short-sightedness and greed, and the Zombie population for.. existing. The eventual, and according to UHV, somehow hopeful resolution to the Zombie War in Brooks’ novel is an unspeakably horrifying campaign of hand-to-hand violence where the Differently Animated are slaughtered with sharpened shovels and special incendiary rounds, amongst other barbarities.

That is, after the governments of the world draw upon an Apartheid-era strategem from South Africa to sacrifice their own citizens, using them as bait (rather than seeking a peaceful and negotiated armistice with the Zombies).

I am legitimately shocked. ‘World War Z’ is simply a candy-coated argument for mass murder based on one’s medical history and background. How, precisely, is it going to help bring a community of students together? As an angry mob?

Oh, but apparently there will be ‘activities’ as well:

We are planning a number of exciting activities to celebrate the book and to learn more about its themes. We will have film and video presentations, guest speakers on the science and history related to the story and other zombie-related events! The book will also be integrated into your First Year Seminar course.

Science and history relating to the story? You mean, like the history of genocide? The construction of terror weapons? How to organize a rag-tag army equipped with sharp implements to spread mayhem and death?

Please tell me none of these activities involves ‘practical’ exercises.

The Zombie Rights Campaign condemns this program and its celebration of madness and intolerance in the strongest possible terms. We do not claim that there is no academic value to be had in studying the work of Max Brooks, as there is in studying the diatribes and manifestos of many of history’s greatest literary madmen, but the University of Houston-Victoria takes things way too far in this case.

We call upon the University to reconsider their stance on Undead Rights. As it is already into the 2011 Academic Year, we recognize that it may not be possible to actually recall the books and completely revamp the curriculum. As odious as this situation is, the books are likely already in the hands of impressionable readers. The damage is already being done.

Instead, the University should take all available measures to ameliorate the harm it has done with its shortsighted and insensitive selection. Present Zombie Friendly alternatives to the mayhem of Mr. Brooks, some truly varied positions and viewpoints, including representation from the larger Zombie Rights Movement. Perhaps show the students evidence of the many charitable activities of the Differently Animated and Zombie Allies, from Zombie Walks to silent auctions and fundraising drives. It would also be of great benefit if students examined the peaceful and meaningful participation of the Differently Animated in their communities, civic life/Unlife and even politics.

Above all, do not allow the narrowminded bigotry that drips from the pages of ‘World War Z’ to go unanswered. Please. You can do no less for future generations, whether Zombie or Living.

Category: Zombie Media | No Comments »
Tags: Academia, Books, Max Brooks is a Jerk, Social Justice

Posted By John Sears on September 3, 2011

More details are emerging on the bizarre and obviously unhinged new Suda 51 game ‘Lollipop Chainsaw’, with details hearkening back to some unusual ideas of Zombiism, a recent Zombie Friendly anime series, ‘Buffy the Vampire Slayer’ and chainsaw obsessions:

Scott Warr, producer on Lollipop Chainsaw at Warner Bros. Interactive Entertainment, provided a behind-closed-doors sneak peak at the bloody good game at the business center. Running on Unreal Engine 3, Lollipop Chainsaw introduces Juliet Starling, a typical cheerleader at San Romero High… on the outside. But like Buffy and her vampire slaying, Starling has a thing against zombies. She secretly hunts them with her athletic moves and her beloved chainsaw. Her world comes crashing down when zombies invade her high school, and the blood-letting is unleashed.

…

As she progresses through the game, Juliet is on a quest to figure out who caused this zombie outbreak, and why. The second half of the demo introduces a top-level boss, Zed, who’s actually one of the zombie rock lords responsible for the game’s undead outbreak.

The punk rock zombie, complete with Mohawk and spiked microphone stand, breaks the notion that words can never hurt.

…

So far, so good. There’s really no game you can compare Lollipop Chainsaw to, not even past Suda 51 titles. With this fresh new character, who’s completely cute and lovable on screen, and the fresh premise of undead teenagers and rock zombies; this game will hopefully be the start of a brand new franchise for Grasshopper Manufacture.

The ‘Buffy’ vibe was fairly obvious from the get-go, although I’d argue ‘Lollipop Chainsaw’ is also more than a little reminiscent of recent Zombie Friendly anime ‘Kore wa Zombie desu ka?’, what with the neon pink, chainsaw wielding madwoman and all.

What I find more interesting, at least in a historical sense, is the punk rock Zombie angle. I’m afraid, given that information, Digital Trends fell down on the job a bit; how can you talk about rock Zombies of any stripe without mentioning legendarily campy 80s film ‘Hard Rock Zombies’?

It’s a pretty easy movie to remember, featuring Zombies and Nazi ‘sex perverts’. Also, bizarre auto-cannibalism and Hitler.

Yes, not just any Nazis, but Hitler too.

More recently, although not strictly speaking a Zombie film, ‘Night of the Punks’ was making the indie horror circuit rounds.

Regardless, are we seeing a revival of the Rock-Zombie concept? What about Punk-Demons?

I guess we’ll have to wait and see the impact ‘Lollipop Chainsaw’ has.

Category: Zombie Media | No Comments »
Tags: Movies, Social Justice, Videogames, What's Up with Japan?

Posted By John Sears on September 2, 2011

Sometimes a single article ties into so many things we work on here at the ZRC at once it’s hard to parse, and so it was with this piece from The Inkwell about a new Anti-Zombie first novel and the process of independent publication in the age of Kindle:

Run for your life! The zombie apocalypse is closer than you think. Or at least that’s what Gary Mountjoy would like you to believe. According to the Armstrong student’s independently published debut novel “3 Years After…” the world is on the brink of chaos, destruction and best of all, time travel.

“3 Years After…” is the tale of a special forces team, known as the Seeker Element, selected to test the latest United States military technology — time travel.

Yes, a time-travel post apocalypse novel. Granted, it’s a subgenre with some serious history, H.G. Wells and all that.. alas here used to tell the story of how, once again, Zombies are supposedly a threat to the continued existence of the human race, instead of upstanding members of society.

A recurring thought when reading the Inkwell piece is how the types of misinformation and shoddy journalism we combat here at the ZRC so often contribute so much, tragically, to the conversation:

Another reason Finocchiaro thinks these stories are so popular is the potential for an actual outbreak to occur.

“There are several examples in nature of different fungi and viruses that can alter the mind of an animal or insect and in some cases take complete control over it,” she said. “The idea that something we can’t even see can so alter who or what we are I think is kind of terrifying, but also fascinating.”

Mountjoy also seems to think there could be a tiny bit of truth to this idea as well.

“The Center for Disease Control actually did release a statement discussing some type of outbreak. I mean it’s out there,” he said. “Do I think it’s actually going to happen? No, probably not.”

Ah yes, the ‘Zombie’ ants, ‘Zombie’ fungus and the like. We’ve discussed, almost to the point of tedium or madness, the tendency of lazy mainstream journalists to label anything they find disturbing or unpleasant as ‘Zombie’. Here you can see the result when the public, less familiar with the Undead Community, consumes said lazy media: hatred and prejudice. Also we see once again the continuing fallout from the CDC’s little Zombie-bashing publicity stunt earlier this year.

Equally disturbing is the continued use of post-apocalyptic fare as violent escapism, which the ZRC has also previously discussed and lamented:

Finocchiaro thinks part of the appeal of these apocalyptic zombie stories is the freedom they allow.

“After the world ends everything we know is gone. There is no government, no true law. It makes you question what you would perhaps do in that situation,” she said. “Would you follow the laws that you had been taught or would you embrace freedom and just do as you please? These are things I think people like to wonder about and apocalyptic stories give them a way to live out these scenarios.”

Very disquieting stuff, even more so when used as entertainment.

We’re diving into Zombie fiction in a big way here at the ZRC, so expect lots of reviews and material on this subject in the months ahead.

Stay strong, Zombie Allies.

Category: Zombie Media | No Comments »
Tags: Books, Don't Use the Zed Word, Social Justice

Posted By John Sears on September 1, 2011

There has been a veritable gold rush into Zombie film lately, and lots of big names have been signing up. Indie zombie movies are attracting top talent these days; Sir Ian McKellen and Dame Judi Dench will appear in ‘The Curse of the Buxom Strumpet’ for example, while Jeff Bridges will star in ‘R.I.P.D.’ and Christopher Lloyd will be in ‘Dead Before Dawn’.

Well, we can add another big name to another upcoming Zombie-related film:

Levine is putting together the cast for his next movie, Warm Bodies, an adaptation of isaac Marion’s book about a romance between a zombie and a still human girl. Nicholas Hoult is set to play the zombie with a heart, with Teresa Palmer as the object of his affection, and now Variety reports that Children’s Hospital star Rob Corddry will play another zombie, who like Hoult’s character “is different from the rest of the undead.”

I’ve actually had ‘Warm Bodies’ recommended to us as a book to check out for the blog, and this only raises the importance of grabbing a copy to review.

It is clearly going to be a hectic time for the Zombie movie review business in the near future. We’ll let you know which ones are Zombie Friendly. Promise.

Category: Zombie Media | No Comments »
Tags: Books, Movies

Posted By John Sears on September 1, 2011

One of the big gripes of the Anti-Zombie fanboys who love their ‘Dead Rising 2′ is that, inexplicably for a sandbox game, Capcom never provided them with a true sandbox mode, where they could soak their murderous hands in virtual Zombie blood without a pesky story, or objectives, or any sort of structure forcing them to pause in their mayhem for even a moment.

Well, Capcom has apparently remedied this for their newest ‘Dead Rising’ spinoff and it has one of the Zombie-haters at Kotaku drooling:

Forget Zombrex. There’s no helicopter on its way. It’s just you, thousands of zombies, hundreds of weapons, and all the time in the world to do whatever you’d like. Since the release of the original Dead Rising, fans have been clamoring for a way to just while away the hours exploring the sights, sounds, and smells of Capcom’s zombie wonderland. Now we’ll finally get our chance. Unfettered. Free.

Yes, apparently all this Michael Fahey ever wanted was the chance to slaughter an endless parade of Undead victims without a pesky narrative getting in the way of his bloodthirsty enjoyment.

Really?

Really.

Brother. Such is the state of journalism in our culture.

‘Dead Rising 2: Off the Record’ apparently comes out October 11th.

Category: Zombie Media | No Comments »
Tags: Journamalism, Social Justice, Videogames

Posted By John Sears on August 31, 2011

We mentioned the apparently-full-of-Anti-Zombie-stereotyping musical ‘Song of the Living Dead’ once before here at the ZRC, and now the reviews are in, so to speak, and it doesn’t sound good.

First, an overview piece tells us that the play indeed indulges in many of the worst and ugliest prejudices about the Differently Animated:

Promethean’s Margaret M. Ledford directs the splatter-thon of a tale, a plot which unfolds not in traditional “act” structure but as a slew of vignettes – first with a crooked-eyeglassed mad scientist (Noah Levine, in his first of two deliciously campy roles) who, in song, insists they avoid widespread public panic by labeling zombies as “victim’s corpses” instead. Right. A crush of marauding zombies clears up the semantical confusion by storming the lab, chomping on brains and ripping the mad scientist’s limbs off as he comically shrieks, “Oooh, help me, I’m bleeding!” Successive scenes introduce us to medical examiner Peggy (a wonderful Sharyn Peoples) a self-described “socially-retarded” loner who snorts geekily, has an estranged daughter and prefers the “company,” ahem, of stiffs in the morgue than a living human being.

…

Sprinkled among the hilarious brain-eating moments (a dyslexic zombie with an appetite for “brians,” for example) are the gag-inducing ones, such as a pregnant zombie who delivers – what else? – an overweight adult undead fetus (Joshua Olivares) who slobbers onstage and croons about his unholy birth with a surprisingly delightful falsetto voice.

Yes, interestingly enough, the Zombies get to sing too, although it’s apparently mostly about eating people.

Sigh.

A review doesn’t make it sound any more Zombie Friendly:

“Song of the Living Dead, a Zombie Musical” is silly, funny, bloody, vulgar and ridiculous – which pretty much makes it the perfect summer show for The Promethean Theatre.

…

The zombies appear from the get-go, disproving a scientist (Noah Levine) who musically doubts their existence by gobbling his brain. Then, for the rest of the show, the walking dead menace and/or kill an array of comically terrified humans.

Sometimes I hate it when my predictions are right.

As an alternative to this blood-soaked musical bigotry, might I suggest ‘Rigamortis: A Zombie Love Story’?

The ZRC officially endorsed that Zombie Friendly musical. You’ll like it, trust me.

Category: Zombie Media | No Comments »
Tags: Anti-Zombie Public Event, Zombie Theatre

Posted By John Sears on August 31, 2011

Just take a look at the story that E! Online is pitching with the headline ‘Brad Pitt Becomes Real Life Hero, Rescues Woman From Zombie Attack’:

While shooting a scene in which 700 extras flee a pack of zombies, a woman slipped and fell, putting her at risk of being trampled by her fellow actors.

When Pitt noticed the woman’s predicament, he rushed over, picked her up and carried her to safety.

“I don’t think she could believe it when Brad picked her up,” a set insider told the Scottish Sun.

So Brad Pitt stepped in to prevent a woman acting as an extra in his new Anti-Zombie film extravaganza from getting stepped on by a bunch of makeup-smeared people IMITATING Zombies (badly no doubt), and E! Online chooses to describe it as heroics in the fact of Zombie violence.

What the heck? So now when Anti-Zombie bigots rescue other Anti-Zombie bigots from potential harm in the course of making a Living Supremacist propaganda film that makes the bigots heroes and the non-existent actual Zombies the villains?

That’s a long way to go to defame the Differently Animated, E! Online. For shame.

Category: Zombie Media | No Comments »
Tags: Don't Use the Zed Word, Journamalism, Mainstream Media, Max Brooks is a Jerk, Movies

Posted By John Sears on August 30, 2011

I’m genuinely tired of seeing products marketed for the Zombie Apocalypse with no rational basis. Take this phone that Engadget thinks is worth keeping on hand for what is supposedly the end of days:

You can never be too prepared. Whether you’re being chased by brain sucking zombies, hunted down by ruthless killer robots, or — more likely — the victim of an earthquake or other natural disaster. There’s only one phone you really need, and that’s the MOTOFONE F3.

…

Of course, these specs describe almost every simple phone launched since SMS was added to the GSM standard. What makes the MOTOFONE F3 unique is that it uses a segmented e-paper display which sips power and remains legible in both direct sunlight and dark back alleys, along with dual antennae for superior radio performance. Battery life is absolutely incredible, with over 2 weeks in standby and several months powered off. Motorola also designed the handset to be light (68g), thin (9mm) and strong — it’s resistant to shock, dust and moisture, with a sealed keypad and speaker (which is extremely loud). The best part? You can pick one up online, unlocked, for as little as $25.

Seriously? Let me explain why this is a preposterous concept, using something that happened all of *last* week.

It doesn’t matter how robust the battery life on your phone is when cellular phone networks consistently crash under the heavy load of natural disasters:

The Federal Communications Commission says it is looking into the failures of cell phone service that occurred Tuesday afternoon after the East Coast earthquake. For as long as an hour after the quake, wireless customers in Washington and elsewhere reported being unable to get calls through.

Jamie Barnett, chief of the FCC’s Public Safety & Homeland Security Bureau, said that when the cell phone networks get overloaded by call volume, crucial calls might fail to go through.

“We were very concerned with the fact that 9-1-1 calls were also congested,” he said. “We want to make sure that people who need emergency help are able to get it.”

…

Major phone carriers conceded that wireless service was problematic on Tuesday, but they blamed it on too many calls being placed at once, rather than any damage to their networks or infrastructure.

Steve Largent of the industry’s Wireless Association said that it was comparable to a flood of cars causing a traffic jam at rush hour. “A huge number of users were trying to use the same highway at the same time, which caused the jam,” he said.

This is why the idea of a ‘Zombie Apocalypse Survival phone’ is complete bunk. In the event of a major disaster or panic, everyone reaches for their cell phones, the phone networks fold like deck chairs and you can’t call anyone. Even if you can make a call, the best people *to* call, the 911 (or insert your country’s emergency system number here) operators, will be swamped with work.

So what good is a long-life cell phone, exactly, in ‘surviving’ a ‘Zombie Apocalypse’? In the early panicky hours, when you might benefit most from a call, you probably won’t be able to make one. Later on, either the situation will be resolved (hopefully with our assistance in a peaceful manner) or it won’t, and after a couple of days the cell towers will start blinking out as the power fails. Some of them have generators on-site that could extend that a bit.. but not all.

This Motofone is actually *less* useful than a modern smartphone in the event of such an ‘Apocalypse’, because at least with a smartphone you could play Angry Birds in your panic room.

Really, all Engadget has informed us of here is their own pandering to Anti-Zombie prejudice. For shame. For shame.

Category: Zombie Media | No Comments »
Tags: Don't Use the Zed Word, Journamalism