The Zombie Rights Campaign Blog

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We hope you'll find this blog an educational, entertaining, and inspiring source of information, whether you're recently undead, a long-time member of the differently animated, or a still-living friend of your fallen, yet risen again, brethren. Everyone with an interest in zombie rights is welcome!

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Dead Rising for iPhone Apparently Sucks Really Badly

Posted By on December 25, 2010

This article about Dead Rising for the iPhone at The Appera isn’t so much a review as it is a eulogy; it sounds like nobody in their right mind should play the blasted thing, for technical and gameplay reasons alone.

Keeping in mind, it costs 2 bucks on sale.

*snicker*

Apparently it lags, it’s extremely hard to control, it’s a ridiculously truncated version of the original game and the graphics are awful. You don’t need to be a Zombie Rights activist to hate a game like that. The reviewer’s right, too, about Frank West’s newly tiny cranium; wow. Who designed that character model?

Man, Capcom has really decided to abandon the pretense they’re a general game company, haven’t they? I guess they’ve determined that quality isn’t necessary, just slap a bunch of Zombies in there and let people massacre the Differently Animated and it’ll sell.

Well… maybe not, if this is any indication. Here’s hoping they come to their senses soon and start making more quality titles that everyone, Zombie and Living person alike, can enjoy.

Happy Holidays from The Zombie Rights Campaign

Posted By on December 25, 2010

From your friends at The Zombie Rights Campaign, wherever you are and whatever holidays you celebrate, please enjoy them.

And whenever possible, share them with Zombies.

Zombie-Friendly Anime to Start Soon in Japan?

Posted By on December 24, 2010

There’s a question mark in the title because, of course, I haven’t seen it yet, but hopefully it will be one of those series that gets snatched up and near-instantly subtitled on Hulu.

The show in question is called ‘Kore wa Zombie Desu ka?‘, and is summarized thusly:

Summary:
Aikawa Ayumu is a normal high school boy. One day he is killed by a serial killer and revived as a zombie by a necromancer named Eucliwood Hellscythe. He starts to serve Eu as her guard but he happens to deprive the mahou shoujo Haruna of her magic power. Haruna orders Ayumu to fight against the anti-mahou shoujo system “Megalo” in her place.

That all sounds Zombie Friendly enough, and it’s nice that Japan has remembered that not all Zombies have to be depicted like Romero’s colorful and ultra-violent fantasy villains.

Anyway, ‘Kore wa Zombie Desu ka?’ starts January 11th in Japan, and hopefully will be popular enough to get an international release, and Pro-Zombie enough to earn our approval.

Home Alone/I Am Legend Mashup Unkind to Differently Animated

Posted By on December 24, 2010

Hot on the heels of our last post comes yet another Holiday themed Anti-Zombie video.

Well, ok. Matheson actually wanted his undead in I Am Legend to be more like Vampires. Originally, they fear the light, drink blood, etc. Nevertheless, we feel some solidarity with all the Undead here at the ZRC, and the *movies* have presented Matheson’s creations as more Zombie than Vampire, so we feel the need to speak up for them.

Thus when we saw a post on this youtube-ready creation matching Home Alone scenes with clips of I Am Legend to disparage the Differently Animated, we knew we’d have to say something about it:

What if Home Alone was a movie about a boy left home along in a city overrun with zombies? This is exactly what Jeff Schmalz has imagined in this video which mashes the films Home Alone and I am Legend together into one movie.

Regardless, this mashup of Home Alone and I Am Legend is offensive. Offensive to the Differently Animated, obviously. But also offensive to anyone who doesn’t want to see a bunch of bad CG and mediocre special effects chewing up the scenery.

Fireballs, mayhem and name-calling against the Differently Animated, hidden behind a cut so as to protect our more sensitive readers. (Or just those who hate CG and effects, or even those who got sick of Home Alone a long time ago. You know who you are.) (more…)

Boing Boing Promotes Extremely Offensive Anti-Zombie Holiday Instructional Video

Posted By on December 24, 2010

I was shocked to see this extremely offensive video being promoted so close to the holidays (as if Zombies aren’t already persecuted and excluded from seasonal festivities enough), but not all that shocked that it was Cory Doctorow doing the promotion:

Worried about juggling your Christmas baking, gift-giving and party-going with the possible zombie apocalypse? This brief instructional video from Team Unicorn has all the information you need to safely and happily enjoy the season without turning into one of the walking dead.

Somewhere around here I still have an Anti-Zombie comic book published under his Fantastic Tales line, which made Mr. Doctorow’s Living Supremacist views quite clear. Still, he is doing society a great disservice pushing such strident Anti-Zom hate using his considerable geek-media platform over at Boing Boing.

The actual ‘ad’ is a faux black and white filmstrip instructional piece on how to deal with Zombies during the holiday season. With charity and good will, as in, toward all men? No, says Team Unicorn! With violence and slaughter and heavily armed children.

Seriously; one of the ‘tips’ is to arm your children with guns. Lots of guns, so they can gun down Grandma if she comes back as a Zombie.

(Yes, they actually demonstrate that).

The video is so graphic that we feel the need to hide it behind a cut, but for those of you who want to see with your own eyes what sort of violence-endorsing hate is pushed against the Differently Animated over the holiday break, we’ve embedded it below. A strong constitution will be required to sit through the whole thing, however.

Shame on all involved with this sorry spectacle.
(more…)

Zombies Ala Mode for iPhone and iPod Touch

Posted By on December 24, 2010

For once we have some good news to report about Zombie gaming on portable phone type devices, as Elevate Entertainment is putting out what sounds like a quite Zombie Friendly game, ‘Zombies Ala Mode’, for the iPhone and iPod touch:

In Zombies Ala Mode by Elevate Entertainment, you’re a young zombie who needs to earn some extra cash. Colorful scoops of ice cream are being tossed over the wall. Can you catch them fast enough and in the right flavors and numbers to serve your customers who are impatiently stretching their green hands out? Be careful though. A lot of junk is falling down too and you wouldn’t want to get hit on the head.

What a novel concept for a Zombie portable game. It harkens back a bit to Zombie Cafe by Wayne West, only here, you’re playing a Zombie, serving what is apparently perfectly ordinary, Baskin Robbins mainstream ice cream to other Zombies. Zombie capitalism, productive Zombie enterprise, combined with a food service related puzzle type game.

Cooking Mama and its ten thousand spinoffs had better watch out for the Zombie Friendly competition, it seems.

Mild cartoonish violence aside, this sounds like a product we could fully get behind here at the ZRC. Regrettably, none of our staff owns an iPhone or iPod touch, which makes us sound like luddites but the truth is, we mostly buy non-Apple electronics. Just not into the shiny aesthetic and price premiums. Still, if it does come to a platform we own, or we get such a device in the future, we’ll have to look this up for a review.

Good show, Elevate Entertainment, for reminding the world that Zombie videogames don’t have to involve tired brain-munching punctuated with shotgun blasts.

Zombie Friendly Filmmaking in Canada?

Posted By on December 24, 2010

Here’s a great story (with the fantastic headline ‘Zombies Have Feelings, Too’) about some apparently Zombie Friendly filmmaking going on in Canada:

Jim Turner’s girlfriend is breaking up with him in a bar.

Not terribly unusual. But she’s doing it eight or nine times in a row, yelling and screaming and telling him to get lost. And it’s all in front of cameras. And did we mention that Jim is a zombie?

Jim is actually a crusader for zombie rights, which sets the story apart from most zombie fare, says Kell.

“The one thing I haven’t seen anyone do is portray a zombie as a real person.”

We here at the ZRC of course have seen works like that, but can easily understand how someone who’s not in the Zombie activism game could miss them in the glut of Anti-Zombie media available today. Regardless, here we have another courageous creative personality who sees Zombies as fully-fledged, interesting *characters* and of course, as human beings as well.

The ZRC offers hearty thanks and congratulations to filmmaker Paul Kell of Saskatoon for his efforts, and looks forward to seeing his film, ‘ZOMBIE!’, on the good old film circuit, hopefully quite soon.

ZRC Reviews: “Homecoming” from Masters of Horror

Posted By on December 23, 2010

I know it’s been out quite a while, but when browsing Hulu recently I noticed that they have the whole first two seasons of Masters of Horror up, and Baron Mardi had again reminded us of the famous ‘Homecoming‘ episode of the series from legendary director Joe Dante, so we fired it up on the old Xbox via Playon the other night and… hmm.

Let’s start with the basics. Homecoming was directed by Joe Dante (famous for Gremlins amongst many other things) and is based *very* loosely on a short story called ‘Death and Suffrage’ by horror author Dale Bailey. More on that later. It starts off with two people driving furiously in a car, escaping some unknown peril, when they see a man in the road. The very loud and obnoxious female passenger grabs the wheel insisting that they swerve to hit said man, which sends them careening off the road into a ditch. Their unfortunate target is decapitated, but after the accident his head is still animate.

Yes, they ran down a Zombie in the opening.

A military truck comes up behind them as they pull themselves together out of the car, and the woman again barks instructions, this time to get firearms out of the trunk, as it has become apparent that the soldiers behind them… are also Zombies. She begins firing wildly, and might I add, with astonishing accuracy given the range, at the Zombies, all while egging them on with childish taunts. About then the man begins narrating a flashback to a short while before.

As it turns out, he is a high-powered campaign consultant named David Murch, who was working in the closing days of what they make pretty painfully clear is supposed to be GW Bush’s 2004 re-election effort. I mean, painfully clear. This episode is not subtle. In the course of doing so Murch was a guest on a Larry King style talk show with his soon-to-be female passenger, Jane Cleaver.

Let’s get this out in the open: Jane Cleaver is Ann Coulter. Period. Moreover, while Ms. Coulter is infamous for being a brash, abrasive individual with extremely conservative views, Jane Cleaver is *still* a cartoonishly exaggerated parody.

Their stint on the show justifying the Iraq war (badly) is interrupted by a video interview with a grieving mother who lost her son in said war, and Murch is moved enough by her story to make a little speech about how, if he had one wish, her son would come back…. so he could tell her, and the country, that the war was justified. This goes over about as well as you’d expect with the parent, and presumably most audience members.

However, in the show’s context, it’s what passes for sincerity in politics, and so Cleaver is deeply interested in learning how Murch faked the performance. He didn’t, as it turns out; he both believes in the war and feels for dead soldiers since his older brother apparently died in Vietnam. Cleaver then seduces him in a fairly transparent attempt to get a job within the administration. Yes, the transparent political hack job satire character of Ann Coulter beds men for power. Nice.

Then of course, the wish gets granted. Soldiers start rising from the dead all over the country… and they want to vote. Worse, they want to vote to end the war, and some of them are very chatty. Dying has made them all realize that they dislike the war intensely and that it was based on false pretenses. Murch’s boss, played by Robert Picardo, tries to get the phenomenon under control with gruesome torturous experiments on the Zombie soldiers, and when that fails, he tries to blackmail one, the lost son of the woman from the TV show, by threatening his mother.

Yes, the Bush advisor figure (Wikipedia suggests he’s like Karl Rove, but only in job function; Robert Picardo is considerably wittier than the real thing) kidnaps an old lady to try and extort a political endorsement from her Zombie son. Again, nice.

Things go downhill from there, as Murch’s conscience gets in the way and he convinces his bosses, foolishly, to take no real action against the Zombie soldiers. Let them vote, he reasons; at most they number about a thousand, spread over the whole country, it can’t move the numbers much.

Which is sound reasoning, except that their endorsement winds up almost costing the Bush-figure the election, at which point dirty tricks are employed, the vote is fixed, and a Zombie Apocalypse begins, which brings us back to the opening and an Ann Coulter-alike shooting the kneecaps off of Undead war veterans.

Believe it or not, the ending goes downhill. From there. And involves a green screen, patriotic Zombies, and an American flag backdrop. One of the Zombies has a snare drum. They’re marching.

*groans, sounds of head hitting things*

Ok, so, as you can see, the actual story isn’t just bad, it’s intolerably blunt and repetitive in its ‘I hate Republicans and particularly, really, to an almost astonishing degree of fixation, I hate Ann Coulter’ message. Or as the cool kids say, it’s Anvilicious.

The ZRC is nonpartisan and fairly apolitical beyond its core mission, but my formal training is in politics, and I have political opinions not germane to the Zombie Rights movement. I just don’t go into them here, because, and this is worth noting, adults are capable of putting things aside when they get in the way of getting work done. Telling a coherent story with meaningful characters, rather than cardboard cutouts, was sacrificed in ‘Homecoming’ in order to make fun of a marginal political figure. Yeesh.

The tragic part of all this is that the Zombies in Homecoming are portrayed in an extremely positive and uplifting manner. They served their country and come back from the dead – so they can participate, peacefully, in the public sphere by voting, by fully engaging as citizens and letting their voice be heard in an election. What’s more, people are generally ok with this, and it goes over well with the public at large.

Astonishing! Not particularly realistic, perhaps, but astonishing! At one point, Picardo’s character even goes off on an angry rant about how, being Zombies, he wishes they’d rip out someone’s throat or eat some brains so he could round them all up and get rid of his PR problem.

Zombies, refusing to cater to the worst living stereotypes, acting as good citizens. I say again, astonishingly good.

And when an election is stolen, and democracy itself is threatened? Zombies respond. Zombies are the heroes in this sorry tale. Zombies are the good guys.

It’s just a pity that they had to get their protagonist chops in such a hamfisted piece of dreck.

So Homecoming is rated ‘Zombie Friendly’ by the Zombie Rights Campaign, but I don’t actually recommend you go see it unless you have a high tolerance for shameless pandering.

The Zombies are good, but the rest? Bad.  Very bad.

I mentioned earlier that this segment is loosely adapted from a short story by Dale Bailey, ‘Death and Suffrage’. As it happens, that story is in the anthology I’m reading now, so I checked it out prior to this review. ‘Death and Suffrage’ is interesting, far more so, and far less blunt and obvious, than Homecoming. At the same time, however, it’s also not as Zombie Friendly. Zombies here aren’t individuals with their own thoughts and feelings, but rather the animated.. organs? props?… of some force of unknown intent and design, frequently remarked of as ‘inhuman’. They seem to be basically good natured, and the main character theorizes that they even want justice, of a sort, but nobody knows what that is, and they’re not at all talkative about their goals. In short, they’re less human, less personable, and less.. people. More of a force of nature, less of a group of characters.

So Death and Suffrage, a better written and crafted tale (which is absolutely devoid of Ann Coulter references) is only Zombie Neutral, edging toward Zombie Tolerant.

The story is better, but the Zombies don't come off as hot.

Now you can see the difficulties these two pieces presented for me as a reviewer for The Zombie Rights Campaign. One fairly well-written story that isn’t all that Zombie Friendly, and one badly crafted mish-mash that is very Zombie Friendly. I can’t really endorse either of them, just rate the two, note the differences, and leave things to you, the viewers/readers, and your consciences. Fortunately, I have great confidence in you all.

Cyanide and Happiness Addresses Zombie-Living Romatic Relationships

Posted By on December 23, 2010

Cyanide and Happiness, a daily webcomic
Cyanide & Happiness @ Explosm.net

I’ll admit to being amused quite a bit by this particular comic, and additionally pleased to see more sequential artists dealing with the controversial issue of Zombie-Living person romance. (The topic is also touched upon in Dead Eyes Open, a recent ZRC favorite)

The Zombie character isn’t the most appealing sort, but he definitely is a *character*, contra opinions discussed last night here on the blog, and he isn’t playing to type, either. The Zombie ‘jerk’ character isn’t completely unprecedented; Re: Your Brains by Jonathon Coulton featured one, but forced him into using his comedic persona to pursue, yes, the devouring of tasty brains (stereotypical behavior anyone?)

Here, the Zombie boyfriend isn’t out to crack open a skull. He’s just socially inappropriate in front of his girlfriend’s family, a common relationship humor trope. Believe me, on balance, that’s a big step up from the average depiction of the Differently Animated and their interactions with Living individuals.

Kudos to Cyanide and Happiness for resisting the cheap shots that pass for most humor involving Zombies and bringing us something original to chuckle over today.

Could ‘Zombie Baby’ Be Breakthrough in Hollywood’s Treatment of the Differently Animated?

Posted By on December 23, 2010

The ZRC was alerted by the great and powerful Googles to this fascinating bit of inside baseball talk on the very roundabout way a new screenplay about a Zombie baby is making the rounds in Hollywood, and just might get made into a film:

“There are plenty of movies about killing zombies, but I’ve never seen one about taking care of a zombie.” Just like that, Andy Jones is on his way to Hollywood with his Zombie Baby.

“I wanted to write a zombie movie because zombies are awesome and who doesn’t love zombies?” says Jones. “But it was right when Zombieland came out so I didn’t want to do another zombie-comedy like that.”

Instead, Jones decided to explore a world in which zombies have been around for some time and become just another routine part of life rather than set the movie in the mayhem shortly after zombies “happen.” The story itself centers on Sarah and Mike, a couple having the same problems any young couple has when they’ve failed to produced a child after a lengthy period. Mainly, their parents are giving them hell for not bestowing upon them bundles of grandkids to coo at and spoil. Throw in (literally – he flies through the air at some points) a zombie baby and you have the perfect recipe for a film. “Zombie Baby is really a relationship comedy with zombies in it,” he says.

But don’t let that fool you. Zombie Baby is still shaping up to be a great zombie flick.

“Every good zombie movie is on some level a social commentary.” Zombies always stand for something and in this movie they represent fear of the unknown. The government created the zombie virus as a biological weapon in response to an unspecified threat, and, of course, it got out of hand – in turn creating another little- understood thing for people to fear: zombies. But, the more Mike and Sarah interact with their zombie baby the more they realize the unknown isn’t so scary once you get to know it.

There are some very promising elements here, and a few troubling notes. We at the ZRC have learned the hard way to be wary of ‘social commentary’ in Zombie films; witness George Romero’s work using Zombies to critique mall shoppers, the military, and digital media, for example. Still, the bit about the fear of Zombies being based on ignorance and the notion that, through familiarity and understanding, this fear could be lessened? That’s right up our alley. In fact, it’s been both our operating philosophy and methodology from Day 1.

The best way to stop fearing Zombies is to know one.

So the Zombie Rights Campaign is taking a slightly unusual step here, and calling on some Hollywood studio to have the guts to produce this film. Zombie Baby, properly executed, could be a welcome tonic and antidote to the vile and ultraviolent, anti-social, Anti-Zombie movies that your industry has inundated America with for decades.

We welcome the opportunity to someday see Zombie Baby in theatres, advancing tolerance and understanding, along with empathy, for the Differently Animated. Such a noble goal and lofty dream is even worth paying your outrageous ticket prices and ludicrous markup on concessions.

Give Zombie Baby a chance, good sirs and madams.