Posted By John Sears on July 21, 2012

We’ve talked before on the ZRC blog about the cottage industry catering to those poor, misguided, paranoid souls who are afraid the Zombie Apocalypse is always right around the corner.

You know the type. Stockpiling food, blades, ammunition. Wondering what sort of air filtration system their bunker needs to keep out Solanum or Trioxin.

Scary people, who often seem to have lots of spare cash lying around. That must be the hope, at least, behind this:

Anyway, if you still feel like you’re in danger, then you might be one of the few who’s willing to unload $24,000 to purchase the Z.E.R.O. Zombie Apocalypse Kit. It’s got everything – and I do mean everything – you’ll ever need to fight off the undead and protect yourself while you’re out in the wild.

…

Highlights of the Z.E.R.O. kit include thermal and night vision scopes, guns, knives, tactical vests, multitools, practice targets and even tools for evaluating biological samples.

Wow. Just.. wow.

I mean.. wow.

To have all that money and only want to spend it fending off imaginary threats? Oppressing the Undead? Barricading yourself in a shack somewhere waiting for the End of Days?

It’s so sad, and precisely what we’re fighting against here at the ZRC.

Perhaps even worse is the cheerful, if probably sociopathic, attitude of the individuals peddling said kit. Observe:

Amazing! Astounding! Incredibly offensive!

And it goes on and on like that at their actual webpage for this odious package deal:

Preventing scrapes is the best way to keep blood from attracting zombies, so covering exposed skin with protective gear is essential. Blackhawk S.O.L.A.G. Kevlar Gloves keep hands safe from normal cuts, and the reinforced stitching stops zombie teeth from ripping through flesh and turning a healthy human into the enemy. Best of all, the molded knuckle protectors let you put a hard jab straight down the gullet of a walking dead monster in the event you’re unarmed.

Finally, their claims to providing a survival solution against the Undead Hordes are belied by the obvious desire for Undead slave laborers:

Properly tamed, a zombie can do the physical labor of 30 men without tiring. You will only be able to determine if a zombie can be tamed through laboratory research.

I say: Yikes. You want ‘tamed’ people to work for you as chattel but the Zombies are the bad guys?

I don’t think so, Optics Planet.com

I don’t think so.

Category: Zombie Media | No Comments »
Tags: Anti-Zombie Products

Posted By John Sears on July 20, 2012

Using various cultures and peoples as sports mascots has a long and often troubled history. For every ‘Fighting Irish’ that’s generally seen as harmless you have a plethora of, say, Native American mascots that are far more controversial. It’s a touchy subject.

Keeping that in mind, and also bearing in mind the current status of the Zombie Community, this proposal gives me pause:

MACON — Zombies, Armadillos, Cockroaches and the Kudzu are among suggestions for a mascot of the new Middle Georgia State College.
The Telegraph of Macon reports (http://bit.ly/LUhV7N ) that they’re among more than 750 suggestions submitted for consideration for the soon-to-be consolidated institution.

Also included in the suggestions are variations on the current mascots of the two schools that will be merged into the new institution; it’s a real grab-bag.

Would the potential ‘Middle Georgia State College Zombie(s)’ be a cheerful, positive, can-do sort of mascot, or a defamatory and stereotyped one? Obviously it’s impossible to say for certain. Still, given the relative notoriety of Georgia in particular vis a vis Zombie Rights, it’s also hard to be optimistic.

I guess this is a wait and see case for now.

Category: Uncategorized | No Comments »
Tags: Social Justice

Posted By John Sears on July 19, 2012

The ZRC loved Zombie Bohemia.

I mean, seriously loved it. A Zombie Friendly story about an Undead *artist* struggling to make an Unliving in the hyper-competitive Fine Arts world? And a cast and crew open to constructive criticism and advice from the Undead Rights Movement? Excellent.

Now you, lucky Zombie Rights Allies of the Internet, have the chance to support a Zombie Bohemia *series*, striking a blow against stereotyped, cliche, exploitative Living Supremacist fare in favor of bold independent filmmaking.

Also, you can totally get swag, since it’s a Kickstarter campaign:

Hello There!

So… You must have spent years and years asking yourself “why haven’t I seen a good documentary about a Bohemian Zombie artist from NYC who is trying to break out onto the scene?”. We have asked ourselves the same question, until now.

Join us as we follow Michael the Artist Zombie and his manager Anton Zora on the adventure of their lives through a world that most of us never knew existed. Meet the cast of characters who orbit around and sometimes collide with them.

If you have ever thought to yourself “Hey I am going to run away to NYC and become an artist and live like those folks in the cast of RENT!” or “I wonder what it would be like if I quit my job and put everything into being creative.” or “that’s a weird bite on my arm, wait, why does the postman look tasty?” then Zombie Bohemia is for you!

Can you possibly resist that? I sure as heck couldn’t! The ZRC is a proud, early backer of this ambitious project.

Will you join us? We certainly hope so, and look forward eagerly to seeing more ‘Zombie Bohemia’.

Category: Uncategorized | No Comments »
Tags: Social Justice, Television, The Internet, Zombie Art

Posted By John Sears on July 16, 2012

Really, we’ve come to expect a lot of shallow, uninteresting bashing of the Undead, often simply by using words for Undead individuals (like, and most commonly, ‘Zombie’) to describe anything and everything you don’t personally care for.

Latest example, more ‘Zombie’ lies/mistruths/distortions in politics. This time about Medicaid, apparently.

I’m not hugely interested, for ZRC purposes, in whether the particular points under contention are true. The real issue here is the casual slander of Zombies every day by so many in the mainstream press. It needs to stop. Urgently.

Category: Zombie Media | 1 Comment »
Tags: Journamalism, Mainstream Media

Posted By John Sears on July 13, 2012

Wow. I for one am severely disappointed in Christopher Lloyd for appearing in upcoming Anti-Zombie (and Anti-Demon) film, ‘Dead Before Dawn 3D‘:

So basically, let me get this straight. An irresponsible shop owner keeps a magical weapon of mass destruction sitting on a high shelf where it can fall and be released. He allows an idiot access to the area who then breaks it, as one might expect. *Thousands die* and are reanimated a bit cranky about the whole thing.

Which is understandable!

And we’re supposed to be rooting for the Living characters why, precisely? They’re less like the Scooby Gang and more like a particularly moronic branch of Al Qaeda that lucks into a dirty bomb. I see nothing from this trailer to indicate that the Zombie Demons (Zemons) are the bad guys. But I’m sure the filmmakers would disagree.

We talked about ‘Dead Before Dawn 3D’ before here on the ZRC blog, and I’d like to point out again how films like this demonstrate the blurry line between Zombie Rights and Demon Rights. Sure, some Demons are, by definition, out to destroy mankind and corrupt souls. That’s their job. But clearly in some cases, whether it be ‘Dead Before Dawn’ or ‘Evil Dead’, the Demon-Undead human hybrid individual falls closer to our jurisdiction.

We’re erring on the side of caution and standing up for Zemon Rights, in a nutshell. Because we care.

Category: Zombie Media | No Comments »
Tags: Movies, Social Justice

Posted By John Sears on July 13, 2012

We like to highlight the positives here on the ZRC blog, when we can. Activists, creative types, even retailers doing good work to advance the Zombie Equality cause.

This isn’t one of those times. ‘Undead Warehouse’ is very, very Anti-Zombie.

They have a tragically wide selection. Vicious, often graphically violent shirts about hating Zombies (take this one for a very nasty example). Targets to fire your real-world firearms at. Wristbands that advocate more savagery. Even, of course, ‘Zombie Blood’ from our nemeses at Harcos Labs.

Man those Harcos guys are jerks, aren’t they?

So despite the name, Undead Warehouse is most certainly not, say, an outlet store catering to the needs of the Differently Animated.

Guess I’ll be spending this ZRC money elsewhere.

Category: Zombie Media | No Comments »
Tags: Anti-Zombie Products

Posted By John Sears on July 11, 2012

BuyZombie has a contest up where you can win the opportunity to keep a patently Anti-Zombie board game off the street.

Clearly that’s the right thing to do, lest impressionable minds play this:

Boo! You and your friends are suddenly surrounded by hordes of very aggressive zombies. But do not fret as we have some good news – one of you will definitely get out alive. How can you become that lucky person? It’s simple! As the old saw goes, you don’t have to outrun the zombies; you just need to outrun your friends.

It’s called ‘Zombie! Run for Your Lives!’ and I dislike it already. I mean really; outrun your friends? Who’s the actual bad guy here?

Category: Zombie Media | No Comments »
Tags: Anti-Zombie Products

Posted By John Sears on July 11, 2012

And that date is: October 27th.

We’ll definitely be back in Elgin this year to help spread the word about Zombie Friendliness and the Global Reanimation Block Party! Last year was after all a huge success.

Even if there were a lot of tragic stereotypes to fight. Hey, any event where you get to pull off a protest march is a good one, right?

Right.

Category: ZRC News | No Comments »
Tags: Public Appearance, Social Justice

Posted By John Sears on July 9, 2012

In the ‘Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy’ series there is a minor rockstar character named Hotblack Desatio who spends time ‘dead for tax purposes’, a sort of tax exile where the legal status of being ‘deceased’ saves you money that would otherwise go to the government.

I bring this up because, in a roundabout way, a tax lawyer is suggesting that it might prove lucrative to be a Zombie. For tax purposes.

This timely academic work explores the important question of whether zombies should be considered dead for purposes of the estate tax. With proper planning, the author suggests, there could be profitable investing for the shambling horde in “the coming day when the undead walk the earth, feasting on the living.”

…

So I called Professor Chodorow, hoping to get some advice on what we might call the most dismal science: necronomics. I want whatever financial advantages are coming to me in death, because my investment strategies in life have been moribund.

The important question, he said in a tone that struck me as un-deadpan, is determining whether zombies should be considered truly deceased or partly alive. That distinction is crucial financially, he said: “It will have significant revenue impacts.”

…

Under a rule of “merely undead not really most sincerely dead,” a wealthy person could delay paying the estate tax upon his passing into the zombie realm; those taxes would have to be paid only after a more decisive event, like having his head blown off with a shotgun.

Those with assets of more than $5 million, he said, “should consider becoming a zombie.”

I think the ZRC response to this article has to have several prongs. First, we deplore the obviously stereotypical and offensive view of Zombies portrayed here, and submit that it lacks internal consistency. If Zombies were (they’re not) mindless devouring creatures, why would they need tax advice? What income would they have to pay tax on? And how would they avoid eating their tax attorney?

Secondly, however, I am pleased to see acknowledgement in print that the legal status of Zombies is not, in fact, as simple and obvious as so many Anti-Zombie survivalists believe (and will quite readily tell you at a convention). Zombies are not merely dead. In fact, they apparently need specialized tax advice.

That.. is something resembling progress, I suppose.

Finally, I can’t say the ZRC is comfortable with the idea of becoming a Zombie for tax purposes. It’s a major, usually irrevocable Unlife decision! Like renouncing your citizenship on steroids.

Think it over very carefully, potential Zombies-for-tax-purposes. Though obviously in most all cases, it beats being a corpse.

On a personal note, I’m glad now more than ever that I’m going to law school. Our Zombie clients are going to need help sorting all this out!!

Special thanks to ZRC pal and Imminent Birthday Girl Michelle Hartz for the tip on this story.

Category: Zombie Media | 1 Comment »
Tags: Mainstream Media, Social Justice

Posted By John Sears on July 8, 2012

At The Zombie Rights Campaign we support a fully integrated society, Living and Undead working and prospering side by side. Naturally this would extend to full marriage rights for the Undead, and, perhaps more controversially, the right for a Zombie to marry the Living person of their choice (and vice versa).

We know that supporting these mixed-Vitality Status unions will push the envelope a bit too far for some, but the ZRC cannot compromise on such a core Undead Equality issue.

Judging from the Independent Horror world, filmmakers have judged there to be a significant amount of fear associated with such blended families. In 2010 we saw ‘Alice Jacobs is Dead‘, a film about a man struggling to care for his semi-Zombie spouse amidst an obviously intolerant society, and it ruffled a few feathers here at the ZRC. Now one of our UK Correspondents brings us news of at least the second indie film to ponder the Zombie-Living marriage issue, unfortunately not in a terribly tolerant manner:

The plot is simple. In the aftermath of a zombie apocalypse it’s the wedding anniversary of a man who’s keeping his zombified wife tied up in the spare room. From there what happens is pretty much exactly what always happens when you keep a zombie tied up in the spare room. Kids, don’t keep a zombie tied up in the spare room.

I think you can extrapolate a bit further there; really, don’t keep anyone tied up in a spare room against their will. It’s not cool, or legal!

Naturally, the point here seems to be that it’s ZOMBIES who are dangerous and unsuitable candidates for a long-term relationship. Excuse me, but who tied up whom in the spare room?

I rest my case.

Trailer embedded below for, I dunno, public shaming purposes. Thanks to ZRC pal Chris for highlighting it.

Anniversary Dinner – Official Trailer from gotta/enk on Vimeo.

Category: Zombie Media | No Comments »
Tags: Movies, Social Justice