Posted By John Sears on May 8, 2011

And the hate-fest against Zombiekind expands to yet another field:

“The Safe House,” designed by KWK Promes, starts to get eerily close to something I could work with, if say 200 bludgeoned members of the undead army came over to eat their way into borrowing some sugar.

“The most essential item for our clients was acquiring the feeling of maximum security,” begins the designers’ website in the summary of the structure. Who wouldn’t feel safe in a concrete rectangle that folds in upon itself to become completely sealed? Even the windows are covered with a slab of concrete when the structure is on nap time.

First of all, I have to say, I love these people who are convinced that they can ride out a huge disaster of any sort in a bunker. Yes… how much food and water do you have on hand in there? Or air? Depending on the nature of the Apocalypse you’re facing, you might not want to breathe the outside air.

It’s more than a little reminiscent of the bomb shelter craze during the Cold War, the difference being that the Soviet Union could, in fact, have pasted us at a moment’s notice, whereas the Undead population don’t actually have the capability to bring civilization to its knees instantaneously just because George Romero said they would. Not that a bomb shelter would do much but extend your misery, given the aforementioned problems with surviving in a post-nuclear blasted hellscape, no matter what Fallout games might tell you. (On the other hand they’re great about Zombie Rights)

Really though, the fallacy goes back further, the notion that meaningful safety can be obtained for a very small group of people inside a house, protected from the cares of the outside world. We could all learn from Edgar Allen Poe in this regard:

And now was acknowledged the presence of the Red Death. He had come like a thief in the night. And one by one dropped the revellers in the blood-bedewed halls of their revel, and died each in the despairing posture of his fall. And the life of the ebony clock went out with that of the last of the gay. And the flames of the tripods expired. And Darkness and Decay and the Red Death held illimitable dominion over all.

Face facts people; nobody gets out unscathed. That’s why it’s all the more important to avoid unnecessary conflict and warfare and apocalypses and find peaceful solutions to our problems. And that in turn is what the ZRC is all about. Rather than building modern-day castles to fend off your largely imaginary enemies, castles that would never serve their intended function anyway, how about lending us a hand while we build a fairer and more just future for the Living and the Undead alike?

PS: It should be noted that it doesn’t seem that the original house was designed with a specific disaster in mind, just generic ‘safety’ concerns. The internet of course translated that into Anti-Zombiism.

Category: Zombie Media | No Comments »
Tags: Anti-Zombie Products

Posted By John Sears on May 7, 2011

A loyal ZRC correspondent forwarded this to us on Twitter the other day and I was once again surprised by just how much Zombie-Unfriendly mischief people can get up to using Youtube:

The Zombie Temp Worker is a comedy series created by PopCap and released on Youtube. It features an employee from PopCap dressed as a Zombie running around the office building and other properties of the company causing mischief and humor. It featured 9 episodes in all to this date. The series arguably ended in Bejeweled 3 where the Zombie Temp Worker got stuck in the ground because of a falling blue diamond.

Yes, in order to promote Plants vs. Zombies, PopCap decided to have an employee ‘dressed’ as a Zombie (ie, one of the most common Zombie units from their game, replete with an enormous cartoonish head on top) star in a ‘humorous’ series of videos.

Most of which consist of jokes at the ‘Zombie’s expense.

Jokes like: ‘Zombies are slow-witted and can’t perform simple tasks.’

Or: ‘Zombies are unpleasant to share a meal with.’

We expected no less from the company that continues to employ known-Zombophobe Stephen Notley.

Still, in spite of themselves, we think PopCap accidentally created some sympathy for their Zombie stand-in character, as reflected by one of their videos in the series, ‘Rise and Shine’:

Zombies are people too, and the video mostly reflects this. Zombies have to get through Unlife day to day, basically the same as Living people, and this daily routine narrative helps to illustrate that point… even though I seriously doubt that was PopCap’s intention.

Sadly as noted in the above description, when the time came to move on to the next promotion their Zombie star was cruelly and abruptly discarded, showing once again the pervasive Anti-Zombie culture at the game developer:

Yes, that’s what PopCap needed, to bring MORE Anti-Zombie violence into the world, and on Youtube no less where anyone can stumble across it, even by accident, even children.

Shocking and very irresponsible, I have to say. Par for the course for PopCap though.

Category: Zombie Media | No Comments »
Tags: Advertising, Videogames, Youtube Mischief

Posted By John Sears on May 7, 2011

You might think that the ZRC would be happy that this has apparently been declared ‘Zombie Awareness Month’. After all, Zombies do need more awareness – of their plight in society, their legal disenfranchisement, of the media’s endless campaign of misinformation against them and of the need for reform.

Sadly, however, that is precisely the opposite of the point here:

May is Zombie Awareness Month! Every day this month ZRS is giving away a free signed copy of the zombie children’s book That’s Not Your Mommy. 31 copies in 31 days to mark this important occasion. Mommy is a cautionary tale that teaches kids how to recognize a zombie outbreak in its earliest stage.

How to recognize… a zombie ‘outbreak’?

And what’s this about a book?

Product Description
CHARMING ILLUSTRATIONS BRING TO LIFE A GHOULISHLY FUN STORY

In the ongoing effort to warn an unprepared world of the rising danger from zombie attacks, one vulnerable group has been left out: small children. That’s Not Your Mommy Anymore is an inviting and entertaining story that helps early readers understand that a mom with fresh brain casserole on her mind probably isn’t their mommy anymore.

Not just for kids, adult readers are sure to love this hilarious parody as much as the real childrens books they enjoyed in years past.

I’m sorry, but this is just heinous, intentional Anti-Zombie indoctrination of children. That’s absolutely unacceptable; teaching children to *hate*? To hate Zombies? Even their own parents, should one happen to die and come back as one of the Differently Animated?

This is a new low. Incitement of violence against Differently Animated parents. What will the bigots at the ‘Zombie Research Society’ think of next? I shudder to think.

All that plus a month-long series of giveaways and contests to further stoke the fires of malice and discriminatory violence, domestic terrorism even.

Oh yes, and they have other merchandise to sell you on your way to the pogrom as well:

May is Zombie Awareness Month!

Support Zombie Awareness Month by wearing a gray ribbon or button to signify the undead shadows that lurk behind our modern light of day.

From May 1 through May 31, concerned citizens take this small step to acknowledge the coming danger. So spread the word!!!

As the great Sir Terry Pratchett wrote:

‘Multiple exclamation marks,’ he went on, shaking his head, ‘are a sure sign of a diseased mind.’

So right off the bat you know we’re dealing with a gaggle of deranged maniacs over at the ZRS. I suppose that explains their obvious paranoia, the monstrous fear that leads them to scapegoat against the looming, imminent (though of course imaginary) menace of the peaceable Zombie population.

Naturally The Zombie Rights Campaign can’t take this lying down. First, on the basis of that cover and description alone we can grant their hateful book a provisional Living Supremacist rating:

Second we can condemn in no uncertain terms this entire ‘Zombie Awareness Month’ for the sham that it is. If people want to be more aware of Zombies, wearing a grey ribbon and ignoring the positive contributions of the Differently Animated to society, their participation in the political process and their work in art and culture? That’s no way to go about it.

The Zombie Research Society should be completely and utterly ashamed.

P.S.
Although it would be beneath our long-suffering Undead clients’ dignity to point this out, I’ll admit, being a bit of a spiteful sort myself, to some small amusement at this detail from the ZRS blog:

ZOMBIE AWARNESS MONTH GIVEAWAY
05/01/2011

Yes, that AWARNESS is something we all need to.. be aware of. Whatever you do, don’t turn your back on an ‘awarness’, and a Zombie one?

Might as well crawl under the covers and never come out again; it’s too terrifying for words.

*snicker*

Perhaps the Spellingpocalypse snuck up on the ZRS staff as they busily stockpiled canned goods for their eagerly anticipated End Times festivities.

Category: Zombie Media | 3 Comments »
Tags: Academia, Advertising, Anti-Zombie Products, Books, Social Justice, ZRC Reviews

Posted By John Sears on May 6, 2011

It’s that time of year again: the sun is brighter, the birds are even more annoying, the squirrels and other local wildlife are preparing their siege of my backyard… and most importantly, with the long and ridiculously brutal winter over, it’s time for the ZRC to do some public events!

Here’s what our calendar looks like so far for Convention Season. We’re exploring yet more options for public appearances, so stay tuned for updates, but the following are set in stone. Some of the events are a bit unconventional so I’ll explain after each one why the ZRC is going and why it’s a perfect opportunity for outreach on behalf of Zombie Rights.

What: 4th Annual Chicago Zombie March
Where: Millennium Park, Downtown Chicago
When: June 11th, 3-6 pm
Website

Why We’re Going: We had a great time last year despite traffic delays and being rained out, so this year with better planning the ZRC plans to make a huge splash.

Not in the creepy splash pools though.

That is NOT RIGHT, people.

What: The North American Discworld Convention
Where: Downtown Madison, Wisconsin at the Madison Concourse Hotel
When: July 8th-11th, 2011
Website

Why We’re Going: Perhaps no man is more of an inspiration to the Zombie Rights Movement and our efforts to promote positive depictions of the Differently Animated than Sir Terry Pratchett, famous author and creator of the Discworld universe. Mr. Pratchett’s works have treated the Undead with subtlety and compassion, and above all, regard the Zombies within as characters and not props to drive the plot. We strongly considered naming our annual Zombie of the Year Award after one of his characters, Reg Shoe, as a matter of fact. One reason we chose not to do so was that it would then bit a bit strange if we ever presented Mr. Pratchett with the annual honor, and the ZRC wanted to be prepared for that possibility.

It really says a lot Sir Terry Pratchett keeps us on our toys like that for a *positive* depiction of the Undead. Hence why we’re going to this convention to honor his proud body of Zombie Friendly work.

What: Geek.kon
Where: The Marriott West in Madison, Wisconsin
When: September 9th-11th
Website

Why We’re Going: The ZRC had a great time at Geek.kon last year, and even got to see a Zombie Ska band live at the convention. Oddly enough, however, the anime industry chose to jump on the Zombie bandwagon in a big way the year AFTER we went to our first anime con, so we absolutely have to go back this time. Between ‘Highschool of the Dead’ and ‘Kore Wa Zombie Desu ka?’ Zombies are big in anime now, and we need to help steer the American anime community away from the evil influences and toward the light.

Plus we can stock up on Pocky.

(note: last year’s dates)

What: The Dark Carnival Film Festival
When: October 18th-23rd
Where: Bloomington, Indiana
Website

Why We’re Going: The Dark Carnival is without a doubt one of the best, widest-ranging, most open-minded independent film festivals in the country. Year after year they deliver stellar content and a great value, with original films from around the world, live hosting and innovative events ranging from outdoor carnivals and drive-in theatre screenings to live theatre and contests galore. We haven’t missed one yet, and the ZRC won’t be missing this year’s edition of the festival either.

As a matter of fact, we plan to be a sponsor. Last year we picked up the tab for a couple of awards; this year, finances willing, we want to be a bigger part of one of the few places we think Zombie Friendly film can get a fair shake.

Plus Baron Mardi, our current Zombie of the Year, will surely be there.

Those are the dates that are locked in, and we’re very excited about all of those events. The ZRC is also looking at a more ‘conventional’ horror convention where we could try to guilt some of the Walking Dead stars and we’re keeping an ear out for some good protest opportunities, particularly in the Chicago area.

If you are involved with or run an event in the Midwest you think the ZRC would be ideal for, and (especially) if you’re willing to honor our service with, say, free tickets.. we will seriously consider picketing your venue.

It’s what we do.

PS: If anyone sees George Romero in the tri-state area contact us immediately and I’ll see what I can do.

Category: ZRC News | No Comments »
Tags: Public Appearance, Social Justice

Posted By John Sears on May 6, 2011

Short but bitter and to the point:

In an alternate world Romero didn’t just make films based around a vision he saw. He wasn’t that crazy filmmaker that made movies about people who came back to life, he was the premiere zombie killer! Unfortunately when he killed off most of the outbreak he had to take up a side job and plumbing is what he ended up falling into! (In that world he instead had visions of a plumber dressed in red that stomped on giant turtles, madman!)

Let’s not beat around the bush: this shirt is extremely offensive, and its vision of a world where Zombie murderers are respected blue-collar workers like plumbers is terrifying and disgusting.

We rate this garment as Living Supremacist, and recommend that you do not go buy it at TShirtBordello.

Category: Zombie Media | No Comments »
Tags: Anti-Zombie Products, Clothing, ZRC Reviews

Posted By John Sears on May 6, 2011

Could the ‘Zombie Apocalypse’ occur in Wisconsin? Zach Snyder thought so.

Would it involve beer? I’m just guessing, yeah:

Beer for beer and shot for shot, when all 50 states belly up to the bar, few can hold their own with Wisconsin.

Binge drinking – we’re No. 1.

Percentage of drinkers in the population – No. 1.

Driving under the influence – No. 1.

How about the Norse Gods?

The story of Fenris Unchained is of the beginnings of Ragnarok, starting in Eau Claire, Wisconsin, with the possibility of the Norse god Fenris being released from his prison. It’s never really stated why Norse gods are battling in Wisconsin and not keeping their fights in Valhalla or wherever it is Norse gods typically fight, but I think it has something to do with our main character Peter Vidar (Ryan McDaniel) and his disturbing dreams.

Well…. Ok, it’s like this. There’s a certain subset of people in the Upper Midwest of Scandinavian descent who really, really want to believe that this area was settled by the Norse/Vikings/whoever centuries before white people came from the East to make farmland and throw the Native Americans off their property. Part of this is simple romanticism, and part is the wish to make their claim to the land somehow more legitimate. This has sometimes led to remarkably extreme behavior, like, say, carving a massive rock with fake runes and using it as a hoax to prove that Minnesota was explored by Scandinavians in the 14th century.

That might have some bearing on the whole issue, or not. Who knows?

Where does the ZRC get involved in this? Glad you asked:

Let’s get to the thing we all care about here the most, though: THE ZOMBIES. Unfortunately, the zombies make their first appearance at 65 minutes into this 89 minute film, and then it seemed mostly for having-zombies-for-zombies’-sake, like they threw in some zombies to have the movie show up a bit more on low-budget horror radars. Let’s face it, most people that watch these no-budget flicks are zombie fans, and perhaps the filmmakers were playing to that. I think there might be something about the dead coming back to life during Ragnarok, though, so I could be entirely off base here. But even if the zombies did seem a bit gratuitous, at least they were done right: these are slow shamblers that eat human flesh.

I’m not big into Norse mythology so I have no idea about the dead coming back to life during Ragnarok, but since the modern flesh-eating Zombie stereotype originates in the 1960s (not just with Romero, but most famously from him), I’m not sure why rehashing the stereotype in the context of the Norse end-times qualifies as Zombies ‘done right’.

From the sounds of it what we have here is an indie film that doesn’t know what it wants to be, but knows that hating on Zombies gets you instant attention and DVD sales, and so decided, heck, let’s throw in some Zombie Apocalypse, then people will watch our deranged take on Ragnarok.

As for me, I think I’ll stick to craft beer and Zombie Friendly entertainment.

Hmm. Beer.

(I do live in Wisconsin after all)

PS: Something that seems odd to me as a local:

It seems Norse gods and mythical beings have a thing for bars (which makes sense I suppose) as half of the set locations are bars. There’s lots of drinking and, curiously, as I mentioned earlier, smoking. Now smoking isn’t strange at all for bars, but the way that the movie constantly points it out was off-putting. Not to mention, the way the actors themselves smoked, as if they’re not real smokers. They didn’t even inhale for Christ’s sake. I am a smoker and that took me out of the movie a bit.

Actually, Wisconsin banned smoking in bars last year. So I’m not sure if these Norse gods are just scofflaws or if the movie was made before the ban, or was unaware of it for some reason. Regardless, you can rest assured; you may run into Loki in a Wisconsin bar, but he won’t be smoking…. legally, anyway.

Category: Zombie Media | 1 Comment »
Tags: Movies, Zombie Flavored Creativity Substitute

Posted By John Sears on May 6, 2011

It’s coming to the point where I expect to see Zombies splashed into every conceivable project as a plot element, or conversely, every conceivable social ill explored using Zombies as a metaphor.

Commercialism? ‘Dawn of the Dead’. Distrust of the military? ‘Day of the Dead’ Rage in the culture? ’28 Days Later’ Corporate Malfeasance? Every Single ‘Resident Evil’. Arrested development? ‘Shaun of the Dead’. Disconnected, aloof modern relationships? ‘Cabine of the Dead’. Misogyny? ‘The Taint’.

You get the idea.

Still, I wasn’t expecting to see the meth epidemic crossed with Zombie-bashing, which clearly shows a lack of imagination on my part, as the ZRC can present to you: ‘Zombie Alley’.

Zombie Alley Concept Trailers And More

An alien virus that turns people into zombies that is turned into meth from the rednecks that find it. It’s only in the United States that something like that could happen in. Where else would you find the properly attuned rednecks to think it’s a great idea to turn a rock that falls from the sky into a drug. I know that’s the FIRST thing I’d think to do. Really.

And what trailers they are, too:

‘Teabag’.. our souls. Uh-huh.

This is mildly reminiscent of ‘In Living Color’ and mildly of having a Q-tip shoved too far into your ear.

‘Zombie Alley’ is raising funds on IndieGogo if you really have a need to support this sort of thing. (I’m not sure, can you chip in after a deadline passes on IndieGogo or what?)

So far, oddly enough, beyond being told that there is a ‘Zombie Apocalypse’, we haven’t seen much for the ZRC to object to. I’m sure that will come later when more money’s been raised:

Zombie Alley A meteor falls from Outer Space and Momma, (the moo-moo wearing, shotgun toting, brains of the operation) and Earl (her greasy, dead beat mechanic son), find the rock, discover it has highly addictive properties, take it back to their auto shop and make white trash meth out of it, which starts a zombie apocalypse.”

This fun Rock and Roll/Horror/Comedy follows a struggling rock band as they wrestle with drugs, sex, rock and roll…and our own unique twist on Zombies and the monster genre, the mutated Momma, Earl, and their “Juicehead” lackeys as they ravage the town and spread the infection in their attempt to build their Evil Auto Empire.

The Zombie Rights Campaign doesn’t care how one becomes a Zombie. Viruses, chemicals, the supernatural, being the only son of God or dying near him; it’s not how you come into the world as an Undead being that matters, it’s that you’re still a person, and we think you should have rights. Naturally this means we’d object to the mistreatment of Zombies made from alien virus-meth as well.

Alien-virus-meth Zombies are People Too. That’s a mouthful.

For anyone playing ‘Zombie Metaphor Bingo’ out there, you can put a counter on ‘Meth Epidemic’. ‘Zombie Alley’ has that one covered.

Category: Zombie Media | No Comments »
Tags: Movies

Posted By John Sears on May 6, 2011

One of the key strategies we engage in here at the ZRC is to cultivate support and relationships with up-and-coming stars and behind the scenes types in the independent film world. There are really two prongs to this strategy; first, just by talking and socializing with people you can expose them to alternative ways of seeing the world, and particularly the Differently Animated. Just learning that there *is* a Zombie Rights Movement comes as a shock to many, and informs their possible future decisions vis a vis Zombie treatment on film.

Secondly though, there are also concrete benefits to networking in the indie film world, in that if you find receptive individuals they can help spread our Message.

Witness this interview given by ZRC pal Deneen Melody to the Horror Society about her current and upcoming projects:

In the event of a zombie apocalypse, name 3 items you wouldn’t leave your house without.

Deneen: My Chinchilla, my Lord of the Ring dvds, and my Legolas Greenleaf standee…in case I get lonely. Harharhar. Normally I would bring my sword, but I wouldn’t want to fight the zombies out of respect to the undead and my friends at the Zombie Rights Campaign.

It’s very nice to see our plan to spread tolerance and understanding of the Zombie population bear fruit in this way! However the same interview shows that we still have a long way to go, alas:

Hopefully, we can chat in the future because Deneen mentioned the Zombie Rights Campaign. They covered an article of mine when I went behind the scenes and was an extra in a new horror-mockumentary called Zombie Bohemia. I’m so confused whether they’re serious or it’s a big joke! There are ways you can keep up to date on this kind and talented actress. Visit her website, check her IMDB Page, or friend her on Facebook.

Thank you for your time, Deneen.

Aww, we’re hurt! Of course The Zombie Rights Campaign is serious – serious about Zombie Rights. We’re always up for dialogue, Mike aka MGDSQUAN. You can contact us via the blog, email, Twitter, Facebook, etc, and we’ll be happy to discuss Zombie Rights in greater detail.

It’s what we do.

Category: Zombie Media | No Comments »
Tags: Journamalism, Movies

Posted By John Sears on May 5, 2011

Here at the ZRC we try to use appealing, non-gruesome artwort in what might be called a more ‘cartoon’ like style (from the pen of our very own Art and Technical Director) to help open the mind of the public about the possibilities of Zombie-Living coexistence.

We’re also not above employing adorable mascots like Zombie Spokeschild Tim or Patches the Zom-Dog in the name of advancing The Cause.

Therefore when I see that a character designer from the UK (what is it WITH us and the United Kingdom lately?) is employing not-entirely-dissimilar strategies to *inflame* hatred rather than diminish it, the ZRC takes notice (and umbrage):

Humor: Squid Bits

I recently stumbled across a website entitled Squid Bits. While it is not a pure zombie humor site it does have a LOT of zombie humor (and apparently a lot of plans to add even more in!) The artwork is all done by Jess Bradley, a character designer who lives in Bristol, England. I have to say she really does some amazing work.

I think you mean ‘horrifying’ work.

Take a look at a small sample here of the quite skillful attempt at spreading distrust and fear of the Differently Animated(more at the above link):

Truly a shocking display of ignorance and hatred. Once again, not all Zombies eat brain, are fixated upon braaain, can only say the word ‘brain’ or ‘braaaaains’, etc. This myth is remarkably difficult to dispel, even with George Romero’s help. Here though we have an updated pop-art vector to spread the fearmongering first advanced (to our knowledge, and if you know better there’s a prize to claim) in 1985′s ‘Return of the Living Dead’.

BuyZombie has other samples of the artwork of this designer of depravity, and their original site’s selection of Anti-Zombie art makes one thing very clear, as if the above graphic/chart wasn’t enough:

Jess Bradley’s work is Living Supremacist.

Between this and the recent Anti-Zombiepolice brutality across the pond I feel grateful to have an ocean between us, though I pity poor Zombina and the Skeletones. Maybe this is why they think ‘Nobody Likes You When You’re Dead’?

Update: I had second thoughts about declaring Jess Bradley to be Living Supremacist, as that’s not really what we do here; we review content and always give people a chance to reform. So I altered the rating (and post title) to reflect only the work on display, and live in hope of a change of heart.

Category: Zombie Media | 3 Comments »
Tags: Anti-Zombie Products, Euro-zom

Posted By John Sears on May 5, 2011

I was informed about ‘Zombina and the Skeletones’ on Twitter and then kind of forgot to follow up on it until now, which just shows… err.. how busy I am with many other ZRC projects, yes.

Perhaps a tiny bit unfortunately for the ZRC’s mandate, despite the name of the band, we’re not dealing with Zombie musicians ala ‘Rainbow Destroyer‘ or ‘Dr. Cancer and the SKAmbies‘, but rather, a catchy horror-influenced rock band from the UK that sometimes uses their music to speak to issues of concern for Zombies and the Differently Animated:

Zombina and the Skeletones have been wrenching 100% pure rock n’ roll genius from the very pits of their tortured, vampiric souls since 1998. As a live band they’re the bloodiest and most funnest cult experience you can have short of sacrificing yourself to some goat headed deity in the woods on St. Swithens Night. On record they’re the ‘Beatles of Horror’, with ‘hit’ packed albums such as “Taste the Blood of Zombina and the Skeletones”, “Halloween Hollwerin”(sic), “Monsters On 45″ and “Death Valley High” a must in any self-dissecting ghoul’s collection…

They have a wide variety of videos up on Youtube, and by a happy coincidence, the most Zombie-relevant one is also my favorite, entitled: “Nobody Likes You When You’re Dead”, a rock lament about the unfair and unnecessary social ostracism that the Undead often face in society:

Rest assured, Zombina (and of course the Differently Animated in general); the ZRC likes you, Dead, Undead or otherwise.

It’s what we do.

Category: Zombie Media | No Comments »
Tags: Music, Youtube Mischief