Posted By John Sears on January 27, 2011

Honestly, after the Hardy Boys thing I had thought myself truly prepared for the utter dearth of taste to be found in the current ‘Shove Zombies in Anything’ trend, but this just goes to show you that there’s no such thing as ‘too cynical’:

If you download a game called “Farts Vs Zombies,” you probably shouldn’t expect a digital journey into the deepest recesses of mankind’s soul. Instead, you should expect a game that’s dumb, immature, and mocks itself mercilessly.

Farts Vs Zombies is certainly dumb and immature, which is fine. Maturity is for poo-poo heads, anyway. The real problem is that Mutant Games thinks the mouldy jokes and tropes at the butt (ha!) of Farts vs. Zombies are hilarious. They’re not. Worst of all, the game just isn’t fun to play.

Yes, this is a game where the player character *farts* to eliminate *Zombies*.

This is a real thing. A thing that people pay actual currency, backed by the full faith and credit of their government, in order to download and play.

Apparently in terms of actual gameplay it’s a tired retread of the ‘line-drawing’ genre, which I haven’t played much but what could be more scintillating than drawing lines with your finger on a touchscreen, right?

Only with farts. And Zombies. And jokes about various people becoming Zombies, so you can fart on them.

I’ll give the developers of ‘Farts vs. Zombies’ credit: in their mad quest to cash in on the Anti-Zombie trend, they managed to find a form of cruel debasement to inflict on the Differently Animated that I had never heard of before. It’s an enormous amount of creativity to dedicate to, fundamentally, avoiding meaningful creativity in the first place (ie, a Zombie game without Zombie bashing).

I need a stiff drink just after watching the trailer:

Yikes. Just.. yikes.

Category: Uncategorized | No Comments »
Tags: Videogames

Posted By John Sears on January 27, 2011

Back in the heady days before World of Warcraft (with its relatively positive portrayal of an Undead character race) took complete dominion of the MMO world, I played a couple of lesser massively multiplayer games. Like Star Wars Galaxies (lesser in many, many ways), but also City of Heroes, which was very popular in its own right, allowing players to put on virtual spandex to go out and Fight Evil, comic-book style.

Given the enormous financial success to be found terrorizing virtual Zombies, I suppose it was only a matter of time before a less enlightened Massively Multiplayer game came out to terrorize the Undead:

From the introduction of Cameron Petty, CEO and Creative Director at JumpCore, the game is an episodic MMOFPS that starts from 2009 and “each episode of the FPS game series will tell the story of a character that exemplifies one of the character classes in the MMO game. The player will experience that character’s journey from his or her previous existence into the post-Apocalyptic world brought to life in the UnDead Online MMO, while exploring the unique game play aspects of that character’s class along the way.”

I’m struggling to imagine how an MMO based on First Person Shooter mechanics could be good for Zombie Rights, but it’s very hard to conceive of this going any Zombie Friendly direction. Plus, here again, Zombie Apocalypse. Groan.

UnDead Online is only one of the upcoming Zombie-related multiplayer games being developed, actually.. and they all sound bad for Zombie Rights:

Zombies have swept through the whole gaming world! First there’s Dead Frontier, and then Zombie online from Korea, and the unnamed zombie shooting MMO by Undead Labs.

The ‘Undead Labs’ game wallows in your typical Anti-Zombie prejudices and, yes, it’s a Zombie Apocalypse scenario, how did you guess?

We want to let players determine their own fate with skillful play as opposed to figuring out how to stack the right numerical bonuses. You’ll be able to aim. We recommend aiming for the head.

I’ve actually met the man who first uttered those infamous words on screen, George Kosana, at Famous Monsters. You, game developer, are no George Kosana.

Not that he should be *proud* of it or anything but he was nice enough to help us out with our charity work.

In conclusion, it looks like we’re about to enter a bold and hateful new age in Anti-Zombie gaming, where the small-scale ‘cooperative’ gameplay of Left 4 Dead and its ilk morphs at least in part into larger, massively multiplayer hate-fests waging virtual war against the Differently Animated.

The ZRC will keep you updated on these developments.

Category: Zombie Media | 1 Comment »
Tags: Videogames

Posted By John Sears on January 26, 2011

BuyZombie pointed us to this shirt from Crazy Dog which hits a little close to home for the ZRC:

“Run for the Cure”. What cure it doesn’t say, but it implies strongly that this is a ‘cure’ for, well, Zombies.

It explicitly says that the search for this ‘cure’ has been going on for over two centuries too.

Right. Not only are they openly calling for Living Supremacist conflict against the Differently Animated, they’re implying it’s a hallowed tradition.

Well, we here at the ZRC have an alternative, an alternative we call “Lurch for the Cure”

Here’s what our shirt, urging productive and peaceful co-existence between the Living and the Differently Animated, looks like:

Ours comes printed on American Apparel shirts and is available in grey and pink in a variety of sizes over at the store.

All proceeds from the sale of said shirts goes to the Lynn Sage Cancer Research Foundation. We pay our shirt printer, the postman and the tax man, where applicable. Everything else goes to a good cause.

Not, say, fomenting Anti-Zombie violence, like some other shirts we could mention.

Category: Lurch for the Cure, Zombie Media | 2 Comments »
Tags: Anti-Zombie Products, Social Justice, Zombie Products

Posted By John Sears on January 26, 2011

Deneen Melody of Slices of Life (which we had mixed feelings over) started up a miniature meme today on Facebook, which led to various people using a flash doll creator site to make virtual puppy pictures.

Naturally, I wanted to create a Zombie Puppy, and the results weren’t half bad, really:

Yes, this is a filler update. Various things got in the way today. More regular posts will be returning soon, in the meantime, have an adorable jpeg. You’re welcome.

Category: Zombie Media | No Comments »
Tags: Zombie Art

Posted By John Sears on January 25, 2011

Just as people bereft of creativity have suddenly realized they stand a chance at making some extra lucre by slapping Zombies into just about anything, there are those who wish to escape blame for their own poor decisions and dubious actions who are coming to realize that Zombies make a pretty convenient scapegoat in our Living Supremacist society.

Hence you see Zombie-baiting products like this ‘Zombies Ate My Homework’ shirt:

Check out their description, too:

Forget the dog and go for the ole Zombie at my homework excuse this year. No teacher questions the intentions of the undead! Check out this classic Zombie shirt along with our other Zombie t shirts. Don’t get caught without an excuse, let a Zombie eat your homework this year!

As you can see, the shirt clearly attempts to capitalize on baseless Anti-Zombie scapegoating of the lowest and most vile sort. In our current atmosphere of blind hatred for the Differently Animated, who are associated with all of society’s ills (most recently terrorism), thanks in no small part to dubious work from the Academy and of course propaganda from Hollywood, isn’t it the height of irresponsibility to push the public into even more scapegoating of the Zombie population?

(H/t to BuyZombie)

Category: Zombie Media | 2 Comments »
Tags: Anti-Zombie Products, Social Justice

Posted By John Sears on January 25, 2011

I can’t think of any other explanation for this atrocity to come for the 3DS from game publisher Majesco:

Developed by 1st Playable Productions, Pet Zombies in 3D lets players raise their very own decaying human pets by managing their special dietary preferences (brains and the like), bodily maintenance (or lack thereof) and morbid activities needed to keep them happily undead. Players can choose to play with, care for, or even mischievously torment their zombies in creepy locations like cemeteries, evacuated malls or rundown military bases. Each 3D environment is customizable with mix-and-match objects, themed backdrops and even music to best fit each pet zombie’s personality and tastes. Throughout the game, players can discover new zombies to add to their horde and customize them with facial bone deformations, variable decay, clothing and unlockable items. Players will also use the Nintendo 3DS accelerometer controls in various activities, including rolling zombie heads through mazes, and can earn trophies and in-game currency to spend in the Zombie Pet Shop.

Repulsive, isn’t it? They’ve not only reduced virtual Zombies to roughly Nintendogs status, but they actively encourage virtual torture of said virtual Zombies with a wink and a nod.

I guess they determined they couldn’t market an animal torture game? Michael Vick’s Nintorturedogs didn’t poll well with the focus groups? That would be more in keeping with the company’s traditional focus on re-heating/branding other companies’ and ideas.

Then again, combining the virtual pet craze (which peaked years ago) with the Anti-Zombie bandwagon almost qualifies as the apotheosis of derivative, half-hearted effort, so perhaps it is up Majesco’s alley after all.

(tip of the ZRC hat… which we should totally get to making… to BuyZombie for this one)

Category: Zombie Media | No Comments »
Tags: Videogames, Zombie Flavored Creativity Substitute

Posted By John Sears on January 25, 2011

Sometimes, even though we strive to keep the ZRC focused on its mission and as non-partisan as possible, events in ‘conventional’ politics compel us to respond, like we did to a Republican plan here in Wisconsin to disenfranchise Zombie voters, amongst many others.

Other times we’re simply inspired by the actions of other lobbying groups, as we were today when I heard about this story:

Today an Iowa House committee will meet to consider a proposed 2013 ballot referendum that would repeal same-sex marriage. While that is happening, anti-gay activists plan to show their “Christian love” to protesters by offering them cookies. SRSLY.

‘The state’s most vociferous opponent of gay marriage, The Family Leader, which is headed by former GOP gubernatorial candidate Bob Vander Plaats, has announced it will hold a prayer meeting in support of the bill in Room 305 from 12 to 1PM. “Several of us plan to bring a token of Christian love (like a small bag of cookies or other treats) to share with homosexual activists who we’ll be encountering Monday,” the group wrote in a newsletter to supporters. “It’s time we dispel lies about Christians, by tangibly showing love to people who struggle with homosexuality.”’

If this news didn’t come from such a trustworthy source I’d have sworn it was a joke. Agitating against the civil rights of an entire group of people, then offering them cookies to show that, what, it’s not personal?

Is that really all it’s supposed to take to avoid hard feelings? A cookie?

We can do that!

So The Zombie Rights Campaign is making an offer here and now to all the big, or even not-so-big names in Anti-Zombie bigotry: send us a line, whether via Twitter, email, facebook, so that we can denounce you directly and personally. Then, you get a cookie, free of charge, shipped to wherever you happen to be.

George Romero, Tom Savini, Sam Raimi, Peter Jackson, Danny Boyle, Zack Snyder and so forth? Any of you guys want a cookie?

Tell you what, it doesn’t just have to be *any* cookie. I will make you a delicious chocolate chip cookie from scratch with Ghirardelli chocolate chips (semi-sweet by default, other varieties available), real Madagascar vanilla, flour and two kinds of sugar, my favorite cookie recipe. If you happen to be in the area, you can stop by and receive your Hate Cookie piping hot out of the oven alongside a personalized condemnation of your career bashing the Differently Animated.

This offer is open to videogame designers as well, naturally. Valve, you want to send us a line? I can get you your Hate Cookies, no problem. Capcom? You’ve earned a whole *box* of Hate Cookies by now, just ask and they’re yours.

Hate Cookies: an Innovation from the Zombie Rights Campaign.

Category: Zombie Media | No Comments »
Tags: Mainstream Media, Movies, Social Justice, Videogames

Posted By John Sears on January 24, 2011

A couple of weeks ago I assessed the first episode of ‘Kore wa Zombie Desu ka?’, which is streaming (legally) over at Crunchyroll, for the ZRC.

I’ve been keeping up, and saw the third episode this afternoon. So far.. so good, at least as far as Zombie Rights is concerned.

The second episode introduced an incredibly stereotyped anime ninja (who is also a vampire) and continued the madcap, bizarre excessiveness that made the first episode so much fun to watch, while continuing to depict Zombies as upstanding members of society.

The third.. eh. It’s still very Zombie Friendly, but the humor falls a little flat, though the plot seems to be picking up.

Still, the ZRC is overall very, very pleased that we finally have an outright Zombie Friendly series coming out of Japan, to help offset the Dead Risings, Resident Evils and Highschool of the Dead, amongst many other unfortunate cultural effluvia.

I’ll keep checking in once a week to make sure there’s no backsliding, naturally. Monitoring the media is one of the many services we provide here at the ZRC.

(Kore wa Zombie Desu ka? can be seen at Crunchyroll here. New episodes debut for paying members on Mondays, unlocking a week later for free viewing for everyone else.)

Category: Zombie Media | No Comments »
Tags: Anime or Manga, Television

Posted By John Sears on January 24, 2011

This one is short, so I kind of hesitated to give it a review, but I did review Rise of the Living Corpse, which is about forty seconds long, so I think the precedent was set months ago on the minimum length for a film to review.

Vishus.com, which hosts the film, describes it this way:

The Zombie: Nov ’06

A little scene with a Zombie. He’s out for some food, but someone is out for him. Starring Tom, April and Pat.

Sadly, this poor, hungry Zombie is also a Hollywood stereotype Zombie, which means that, instead of being able to walk to a nearby restaurant and order something tasty, he has to shamble around on a broken foot until he finds a person to snack upon. Still, he tries to make the best of it, finding someone who is already dead (and thus going to waste) to eat, until the savage and unfair twist ending.

Poor Hollywood Zombie.

There’s a certain sad tone to the movie that keeps this from straying into Living Supremacist territory, but we’re still talking about your ‘Zombie Apocalypse’ scenario, which we see over and over again here at the ZRC, so I’ve decided that I have to give this film, even though it tries for a tiny bit of Undead sympathy, the Anti-Zombie rating.

Maybe next time we’ll see something a bit more Zombie Friendly from these folks.

Tip of the hat to BuyZombie for this one.

Category: Zombie Media | No Comments »
Tags: Movies

Posted By John Sears on January 24, 2011

Well, actors portraying Zombies anyway.

Check out this graphic, brought to our attention by The Horror Society, which contains a number of factoids about the horror film industry worth discussing:

A nightly wage equivalent to 3 bucks and change in today’s dollar. That’s a low blow, even for Mr. Romero and his history making poor treatment of the Differently Animated. Not only do you mistreat them on camera, George, but you barely paid them at all?

I bet the Zombies weren’t allowed at the craft services table either.

This is just the sort of bad behavior we’ve come to expect, sadly, from the Anti-Zombie filmmakers of the world.

Category: Zombie Media | No Comments »
Tags: Zombie Art